i was laid off in december from an office job i had no intention of doing long term. it was called a layoff, but i also think my dwindling productivity had something to do with it. for the past 3 or so years, i've been wondering if i have adhd, but i kept putting off seeing someone or getting a diagnosis (go figure). so anyway, i wasn't super efficient. always felt like i was just keeping up.

after i lost my job, i was super lucky that my friend offered me a role at his company. even better, it was in the arts industry and in a role i was genuinely interested in. i was super excited, and started working in january. now its august and all i can think about is how much i mess up at work. how behind i am. how unproductive i am. when i have the focus and willpower, i can do really good work. but then i get into these cycles of procrastination and anxiety that are so hard to escape.

worst part is that i genuinely want to be good at this job and enjoy it. but i keep letting myself down. i feel like i'm in this limbo where i appear to do well, but the reality is that i am really struggling to keep up. it's sort of the same for relationships--never been in one but also don't really have a strong desire to be in one. I just feel like i'm in between failing and succeeding, in the sense that i experience both extremes at the same time. it's a weird place to be, and i hate how i am right now (with regards to work). i want to feel settled, and capable, and enjoy the work i do, because i do think it would be enjoyable if i just got out of my head.

The feeling of "Yeah, i might have ADHD, but I'll get around to figuring that out eventually--" loop is so real, I took like four years to get around to getting a diagnosis bc it kept slipping my mind. It does sound like you're experiencing some kind of burnout tho, the feeling you describe sounds very familiar. I hope you manage to get some time to take care of yourself and recover a bit, the self-blame only worsens the emotional stress that factors into causing burnout a lot of the time

There's also nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship, society pushes a one true life path for everybody that doesn't actually have much bearing on a lot of people. If you don't want to be in a relationship, seeking one out because it's what people are "meant" to do will do the opposite of help

I have just graduated from university. I actually had a really good experience there. I met some really cool people and I didnt finish with a terrible grade, and I thought i did well. Unfortunately for the past five years even some time before university I was preparing to apply to this one uni for my Master's degree which I got rejected from. That devastated me, and even though I applied to other universities I have always wanted to go to a really, really good university. I went to a good university for my bachelor's, but for my masters I wanted to go to a top 5 global uni for my degree. I know it sounds silly but I thought there was a chance for me to get in. I know 2 - 3 people who got into the university as well for the subject I wanted to study and they all have me tips on how to refine my application. And it was for nothing. I want to reapply next year maybe. Thats not the main issue though. Its that in order for me to reapply I have to deal with my family. Nobody in my family understands I think why I am so keen on going to a top university and they want me to go to this uni (even though they say they aren't trying to push it on me) that is in the middle of nowhere, and technically is an extension of the uni i did my bachelor's in, but its still in not the most central place and the degree is a bit niche. I think im fine going there so long as it takes care of my family's comments about the fact that I was studying abroad and I should go back home (I was an international student, this uni is in my home country). My mom keeps on saying that I need to "get back to reality". By that she means be real and stop thinking about going somewhere better. But I cant help it. For me it is my only goal in life to be really good at what I do, and to be recognized for it. I have decided to put aside prioritizing meeting a spouse, having children, i have moved half way across the world. I plan to if I have my way be moving around and studying for at least the next 6 years. Maybe more. There's a whole world out there, why exactly should I be trapped? I am afraid that if I got to a uni that isnt that good I will be trapped in a career in a country that I dont really like. I dont want to spend my life like that. If I wanted to be doing something I didnt like being paid as little as possible (minimum wage in my country is 3 dollars) and kissing ass, I would have. I could have done that, and i still have to kiss ass a bit but at least I can have a future and have more options if I leave. She tells me I can have everything be perfect, why not? I see my friends, who all are going to world leading unis, I see their families who are well taken care of and proud of them, and happy and healthy, i see their beautiful homes and their family dinners and their beautiful and kind partners. I see their accomplishments. It is perfect they are happy and blessed why shouldn't I be trying for that? I have sacrificed so much already; so why cant I even have half of what they do? And even if I cant have what they do, why cant i try? I dont know how this will all sound to whoever is reading this but this all has driven me half mad and I have no one to talk to about. I think, overall I just dont want to go home. It feels like I have failed already. My lease ends soon and I have to go back home in a week or so, and i hate that. I went to my good university and met wonderful people and had a bit of a taste of sucess and progress and now I have to pack it all up in a 23 kg suitcase and leave. I knew that I would have to leave I knew what I was signing up for but as silly as it sounds I dont think ive had a rejection like this before. I dont really see a point in living if I cannot be in the pursuit of making it perfect, of hopefully in the future having my hat in the ring for making the world a little better. And I am definitely not one for cages. I dont want to be trapped. I think it might kill me. I want the world because I am in love with it, why should I stop wanting to go see more of it? Studying and giving so much up for so long might kill me too but at least thats MY choice. It would be an honor. I know I sound mad and like I said earlier I think this has all driven me half mad. Its weird seeing it all written out. I think I just wanted to put it somewhere. Thanks for reading and may god bless you and all your endeavors.

i recently turned 25 last month and i feel like i've been left behind. i ended up dropping out of art school my first semester and now i'm just so hesitant to go back because i'm worried i'll fall behind again, i havent dated since my ex dumped me through text for someone at their college, partly cuz i'm going to get back on hrt and don't want anyone saying i tricked them and getting hurt or worse. i don't even think i can make friends unless they're online because it's such a pain in the ass explaining how im a gnc trans guy just to watch it go in one ear and out the other, like they're literally fighting to not understand it. a work friend literally refuses to use my name, calling it a "fake" name, the same shit that happened at my last job. i don't even draw anymore, i went from drawing everyday, to barely being able to make a doodle because i hate everything i put to paper. i just feel like i lost all the passion and potential i had when i was growing up, and it makes me feel so empty inside.

i'm also 25 and feel lost and less than others, and i keep trying to remind myself that i'm not alone in that feeling. so hey, you aren't alone.

it sounds like the people around you who deadname and disrespect you suck. don't let it get to you (easier said than done, obvs) maybe there are other communities that you could join where you would be able to make friends? writing is my passion, and i've found a few local writing groups on Meetup (website). i met some cool people that way! i've seen similar Meetups for paint and sip or other arts activities. i'm sure there are places that you can find like-minded people :)

and if you want some advice about art, one thing that i've personally discovered is that i need to keep my passion for myself. i love writing. i've loved it since i was a kid. but i grew up tight for money, so when i decided be practical and go to business school (lowkey mistake lol). i became an editor for the school paper and wrote blogs for my internship, thinking that connecting writing with my degree would help. but before i knew it, writing became "work". i had stopped writing what i enjoyed, and instead wrote things that other people wanted me to write. it made even writing stories feel like work.

then, one day, i said "screw this" and added a minor in creative writing. i stopped writing for my job. i started writing just to write. even when i feel tired, anxious or defeated, writing feels... fun. i have no reliance on writing for career or money. it's my escape.

https://nextrunwaystar.com/2026/adian-valdez?fbclid=PAb21jcATt2DNwZG9mAmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDzU2NzA2NzM0MzM1MjQyNwABpyGPMjG4nCnrSMw-pLJUrkp41Rn2hWrb2cob4z-ooqpgzIIHrLiIl_qPrnzY_aem_73G5OxJBYNufxN40KbtbOw

Vote for me

Hello, I hope everyone still on here is doing well. I'm in need of a bit of assistance. I've been struggling with a p*rn addiction since I was 10~ maybe a bit younger. It's not been a fun experience. I've already had tons of issues with procrastination but this made it much worse. Anytime something made me anxious or doubtful I would fall back on p*rn. I've only ever told one friend about the problem in my whole life and only vaguely covered the issue with my mother but she wasn't really helpful. My friend on the other hand was. He was far more understanding and helpful but, in the end he had his own life so, I fell back into trying and failing to deal with the problem on my own. It obviously hasn't been going well. From failing to get into the college that I wanted. To settle in a bad position to go to a college that my mother wanted me to go to. To then being manipulated into staying there and then falling off grade wise due to the stress and all the while dealing with the p*rn addiction.

I kept trying and failing to rectify my mistakes, fix my grades, find more opportunities but, my position, mental, and emotional state was already chalked. On top of all of that it felt like everything I attempted to do to fix the problems just failed the moment I tried to even go for them. From school staff and officials not knowing the information in their own handbooks. I missed opportunities because my Uni was so far away from any reasonable transportation options. It got to be too much. I made 2 attempts on my life at Uni. The first one I backed out. The second failed, I attempted to hang myself and the rope broke. After that I became completely reclusive. I stopped going to class, I couldn't even talk to my old friends. Even now, I can't speak to them. I feel like a failure and that they want nothing to do with me. But of course, the addiction never stopped. It became the only thing I could try to work on. I've spent the past 3~yrs trying to break this addiction. Failing again and again. It's gotten so bad now that I've started getting more comfortable hurting myself. I've bought multiple knives that I've used on myself. I've told no one about it and I am very precise to leave nothing obvious. It's starting to become clearer to me that I'm getting closer to a point where I can kill myself without backing out. I've even considered buying poisons from DNWs and using those on myself.

I genuinely think that my life is over. 17M and I'm turning 18 in a few weeks, but my life is in utter shambles that I don't think I'm ready for the real world just yet. I have no hobbies, and I don't think I can even enjoy new ones right now because I have to get ready for college. I've fantasized times where I could just work part time so I can do something productive instead of consistently failing in school, but I'm so scared of what my family or relatives might think of me when I do. I consider myself as a people pleaser, but I couldn't name someone I actually pleased with my presence. I've been like this for 3 years, but 7 months ago a great woman changed my life for the better. That was nice, until I messed up and got too overemotional and said things I shouldn't have. It's been a week since she last texted, and I know for sure that my life is only down from here. I'm scared, I think my life is over.

I've been in this exact same situation before, and honestly the best thing to do is to keep going on with life.
Live in the moment and see where life takes you, you never know what's in store for you.
Things will get better, and worse, and better again, because life is a rollercoaster of emotions and will always go up and down and take you through loops and twists and turns.
Of course, don't just forget about your future or your past, keep them with you and plan for them, but don't be too focused on them, because in the end they'll just weigh you down.
This is all coming from my own personal experience, of course you are your own person and things will probably be different for you, but I hope this helps, or at least gives you some peace.

It's understandable that you're feeling this way. You are at a point in your life where you're going to be facing a lot of pressure over large decisions people around you and society at large says you need to make immediately. Understand that you have time though and with all the years ahead of you there's so many big changes that can happen.

It sounds to me like you have a lack of direction and/or purpose right now. Your fantasies of just being a little productive instead of consistently failing school might not be so much a fantasy and just genuinely what you desire. You might be well served by putting college off for now and just try working a bit. With your free time you can consider taking some random workshops for things you might be interested in or that are just useful like CPR/AED certification classes; such things can provide an opportunity to meet people and at the very least will give you some good things to put on your resumes/applications for jobs. After the year ask yourself for what purpose do you want to go to college. Is it for some specific path that requires college or are you simply going to college just to go to college? If it's the later then I highly encourage you to consider something else whether that be trade schools, getting certifications rather than a degree or just pursuing jobs that don't require degrees. Going into college without a clear goal is more likely to just put you in debt and leave you feeling even more overwhelmed.

As for the girl who hasn't messaged you back, it's hard to give advice without specifics, but I can say that if you feel bad over what you said then all you can do is apologize and proceed forward with your life. Hopefully she'll message you back and at least give you a chance to discuss it further, but if she doesn't then you have to accept the consequences and endeavor to have better control of your emotions. The memories might be bittersweet if she doesn't contact you back, but it shows that you can have sudden improvements in your life by meeting just a single person.

for the past couple of months i've been wanting to write a story that i've been thinking about so often, and maybe even one day make it into a tv show or a book. it was a silly idea my friends and i came up with but we brainstormed so many things, and we started to take seriously. i have always loved writing, and thinking up scenarios in my head, but i never thought of making a career out of it. i enrolled in college for environmental science, because i thought i wanted a career in science, another thing i was very interested in when i was little. i dropped out after a semester and i was unemployed for a bit until i got a job at this restaurant i work at as a dishwasher. it's not terrible, not like the fast food place i worked at in high school, but i am not happy there. i feel like every day is the same. i don't want to be a dishwasher. i feel like such a failure. on top of that, i'm chronically mentally ill and agoraphobic. i think i might be autistic and have ocd but i don't have an official diagnosis yet. i don't have health insurance and i am not really in a financial position to get therapy right now. i'm 20 years old and a stoner who stays in their room most of the time if i'm not at work. i've gotten better, but there was a point when i was unemployed and dropped out of college, inside all day every day, sleeping through the day and staying up all night to get high and play video games. i was looking for a job, obviously, but i wasn't getting any interviews. until i applied as a dishwasher for this relatively small family owned restaurant. i feel like i don't fit in at all, and most days i just turn my brain off, listen to music or a youtube video, and stay in my own world, ignoring everyone around me. only occasionally speaking when others acknowledged me. recently i've been talking to people more and i feel proud of my improvements. i got a girlfriend last year, and she's been a big help in my journey to mental health. i have a long long way to go and lots of childhood trauma to unpack, but i have a hope that i can get better. the thought of writing a story feels like it's my path. i want to make the idea i have for this show a reality, but i can't bring myself to just??? do it???? like the initial buzz i had just ran out after i wrote a few pages of notes and a first draft. i still think about it so often in my head, usually at work because i literally have nothing better to do than think, but i get home and i'm so burnt out from masking and dealing with so many people that i just wanna get high and waste time online. i have to admit i have gotten better at being offline, and i spent time outside of my room more often. i deleted basically every social media except for instagram, and i don't use that often. i have discord so me and my friends and gf can call when we play but i only talk to them because we actually have been irl together, like a friend i met in college that i still keep contact with. so, i clearly am ready for a new stage of my life entering my 20s. but it feels so overwhelming to know what i need to do. i feel like perhaps a therapist can help me with finding a clear path, and i'm working on that, but right now i feel stuck. and burnt out. anyways i started watching welcome to the n.h.k. recently and that has kinda been a wake up call to me lmao.. proud to say i'm not as bad as he is but unfortunately i do see myself in him a lot and i DO NOT want to end up like him. yikes. so yeah, maybe one day i can make this idea into a reality.

Heyo RENTEN! The initial buzz you mentioned is motivation that is unfortunately hard to count with and unreliable. I've been stuck with making any progress on my projects for years and the only thing that actually helps is building discipline. Creating anything is a long-term marathon and making even small bits of progress every couple of days adds up. A friend of mine understands this and pursues his creative art after 12h shifts, trying his best to stay disciplined and make progress. It's very difficult and as far as I know, there's no way to make it easier besides discipline. Identify what takes up your free time and try to use some of it for creative purposes. Something that helped me is completely quitting MMOs and no longer watching short-type content like tiktoks (I assume that's what you meant by mentioning deleting social media). It's actual hypnosis that eats so much time lol.

I don't know if my thoughts on this matter are of any help. I did manage to release a videogame and the experience from that helps me continue pushing it, but it took a lot of time to learn to work and treat creative stuff with enough seriousness to accomplish anything. I wish you good luck!!

>>2 i absolutely need to build discipline. and i totally agree that avoiding short form content did wonders for me. i find myself preferring hour to two hour long videos on youtube, and i see way more things i'm actually passionate about and help me get inspired and creative. tiktok used to constantly push extremely negative and triggering content that would get me stuck in spirals, and i even became detached with reality and was getting sucked into all kinds of conspiracies and spiritual rabbit holes.

i appreciate your response! i need to hear from people who have experienced this and are getting better/managing it. i'm glad to hear you released a video game. knowing that you could achieve that goal helps me feel more hopeful. thank you and good luck to you as well!!!