I had a messy breakup back in November. I had been falling apart for the last few months and spiraled into an anxious episode where we ended things. I handled things really poorly and did it at a really bad time and it hurt her. It's been months now and as I've been realizing just how badly I handled things and it's eating at me. We haven't seen eachother since January and probably never will again. She deserves an apology but it might be too late for it to matter, I don't want to bother her with it because she's probably moved on already. I feel stupid for even posting about this, I should be more emotionally intelligent than this. What should I do?

Sounds like you’re in a tough situation but here’s what’s goin on.. life’s too short to stress about those things though loves worth fighting for.. I say go and apologize and make things right. It’s only normal we make mistakes and tell ya what we’re all going through something it shouldn’t matter what others think. I’ve been in a similar situation and it eats at ya heart thinking ur not able to change it. The only outcome different is it stays the same or you get her back. You got this

it's been some time since you posted this, but i was just about to say the same thing as Arms Grace. I've been in your shoes and that inner turmoil ate away at me for over 2 years until i decided to break no contact and swallow my pride.

please take my piece of advice: just have an honest, civil talk with her. i swear you will be able to move on and your soul can rest. nothing will come from inaction, so good luck! or i hope everything worked out if it already has!

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I ended up reaching out to her, and I messed it up completely. I had another panic attack and came across as a self-fulfilling asshole and definitely made things worse. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Someone throw something at me. It's like I managed to say the opposite of what I should've said because I was so scared of saying the wrong thing, even though I knew what I should've said. What's wrong with me????

I just hope she's doing well