i recently turned 25 last month and i feel like i've been left behind. i ended up dropping out of art school my first semester and now i'm just so hesitant to go back because i'm worried i'll fall behind again, i havent dated since my ex dumped me through text for someone at their college, partly cuz i'm going to get back on hrt and don't want anyone saying i tricked them and getting hurt or worse. i don't even think i can make friends unless they're online because it's such a pain in the ass explaining how im a gnc trans guy just to watch it go in one ear and out the other, like they're literally fighting to not understand it. a work friend literally refuses to use my name, calling it a "fake" name, the same shit that happened at my last job. i don't even draw anymore, i went from drawing everyday, to barely being able to make a doodle because i hate everything i put to paper. i just feel like i lost all the passion and potential i had when i was growing up, and it makes me feel so empty inside.

i'm also 25 and feel lost and less than others, and i keep trying to remind myself that i'm not alone in that feeling. so hey, you aren't alone.

it sounds like the people around you who deadname and disrespect you suck. don't let it get to you (easier said than done, obvs) maybe there are other communities that you could join where you would be able to make friends? writing is my passion, and i've found a few local writing groups on Meetup (website). i met some cool people that way! i've seen similar Meetups for paint and sip or other arts activities. i'm sure there are places that you can find like-minded people :)

and if you want some advice about art, one thing that i've personally discovered is that i need to keep my passion for myself. i love writing. i've loved it since i was a kid. but i grew up tight for money, so when i decided be practical and go to business school (lowkey mistake lol). i became an editor for the school paper and wrote blogs for my internship, thinking that connecting writing with my degree would help. but before i knew it, writing became "work". i had stopped writing what i enjoyed, and instead wrote things that other people wanted me to write. it made even writing stories feel like work.

then, one day, i said "screw this" and added a minor in creative writing. i stopped writing for my job. i started writing just to write. even when i feel tired, anxious or defeated, writing feels... fun. i have no reliance on writing for career or money. it's my escape.

i'm still trying to figure out what my "real job" will be. but i've decided my greatest passion is for me, and my second greatest passion will be for others:)

maybe you need to keep your art as a personal hobby, with no ties to school and no need to make anything "good"?? the goal can just be the act of drawing. the result isn't important. when i get stuck in my writing, i set a timer--20 min for e.g--and until the timer goes off, i need to keep writing. can't edit anything. can't let my pen stop moving. it helps so much, because the point is just "to write". and eventually, you'll find yourself making stuff you're really proud of.

idk hopefully this didn't come across preachy. i usually feel pretty shit about myself, but i've always come back to creative writing. so i guess i really hope that you're able to revive your passion for art. and i hope you're able to enjoy every brush stroke, even when the final drawing isn't what you'd imagined.