Welcome to the Random Thought Thread (RTT).

The random thought thread can be used to discuss pretty much anything. Debate, talk about your day, and to just post random daily thoughts that may come to you. Don't worry about double posts here.

Previous RTT:
https://dollars-bbs.org/random/res/1677348242.html

(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧
This is my first time making an RTT! Maybe this one will move faster than 54 did lol.

It will take 4 years to fill this one up.

>>2 (Firi) Don't say that lol. I feel like we could do it in a year if we really put some effort in! (•̀ᴗ•́ )و

Rain is in the forecast, but I'm really hoping that the sun comes out. This overcast weather has been super weird and awful. I really want it to be summer now. It's supposed to be warm and sunny this weekend and I'm really hoping that this bit of rain is the last we'll see in a while.
I set a date for when I want to start posting pages again on my Tapas, but I seriously have barely written anything because the bad weather sends me in a depression. Yesterday I managed to power through it and at least got some cleaning and cooking done.

Also, I've been reading while feeling unmotivated to get out of bed. I finished Mostly Void, Partially Stars (a Night Vale novel), it was funny and interesting to read, but also... difficult to get into. I could really only manage a few episodes in a single setting and so it took me weeks to get through it. I really do think seeing Night Vale in a more visual format (even just a graphic novel) would make the series way better to digest. The stories and characters are just a lot to take in and having a more visual aspect to the series would make it way easier to digest. Well, as it is I give it a 3.5 stars.
I also read Frog and Toad are Friends because I never read it as a little kid and I enjoyed it immensely. I just love the casual queerness of the characters and then there's the swimming scene where Frog is just openly swimming in the nude while Toad has a bathing suit lmao. 5/5 stars, don't judge me.
And finally I got through the first two volumes of Freaking Romance by Snailords. I liked it, but also kinda didn't. I don't know why, but I don't really like the characters all that much in this series. The art is pretty though, and the plot is interesting, but I think what I dislike is that everything is so extreme. Like every conflict is the worst possible situation, every emotion is either super happy or super sad, there's no chill moments or just casual interactions between characters. It makes reading the story kind of stressful. I give it a 3 star rating.

RTT speedrun? Sure.

>>3 I remember my music teacher reading that to the class in elementary school for some reason lol

>>3 (Nyanka)
I loved Frog and Toad as a kid! They are such icons

>>3 cheers to another RTT though, good run lads and lasses.

Its funny how the cure to depression is to literally just surround yourself with people, like, other people literally anchor ourselves to reality and reminds us of what actually matters for us and our surroundings. Being alone for prolonged periods of time gets me existential and literally pulls my view away to zoom out of myself and see the grand scheme of things, how insignificant existence really is, instead of focusing on the known world that I am personally involved in which I should have treated with utmost importance.

I don't know if my crew actually get that feeling, I live an hour away from campus where all my social life revolves around, that I got nothing on my home, I just sleep and bathe there. I just wonder, everyday, their luxury of having me show up to them daily, can they afford to live in my shoes? Do they know how hard it was when episodes strikes, and still persevering through it all to show up for them.

Human feelings are messy, illogical, I dont like sorta.

yay new rtt

>>6 (firion) sounds like you're an extrovert. not same.

>>7 It only sounds like it because I can't even get a proper break for myself, like, being around familiars are the only way I could jumpstart myself into social mode. The mental breakdown every now and then is essentially my introvert side asking for a recharge, but it is not the time to recharge, there are lots of things to work on.

I realized I haven't posted in the stalker thread since I was in college. Maybe I'll take a picture later to post.

new weekly shonen jump manga otr of the flame is fucking peak

Mowing the lawn sucks.

Just had a great moment at the airport, boys. As I was entering the restroom at the airport today some dude tried to stop me and point me towards the women's room, and I had to tell him I'm a man. Fuck yeah, boy, *I PASS*.

>>6
Isolation truly is evil. I've reached ten years as a hikkikomori this year, the last time I had any sort of social anchor was pre-covid when I was finally close to escaping.
Even seeing family, can be grounding. I've managed to see my little sister once a year but even then, I need to do it a lot more.

For a proper, random though. I've nearly finished all UC Gundam.

To contribute a second piece to the endless stream of consciousness that RTT can represent. I just wrote up like a, two-thousand word post for the 2011 Gundam thread on /Animation/ and as I clicked reply, my captcha expired. There may be evil more evil, then isolation.

>>14 ggwp thats gotta suck

>>13 Privacy is great, but these terrible feelings that can persist for days to weeks really aren't worth it.

>>14 rip.

Its been a month since the last time I posted about my digital detox journey.

My subscription for Minimalist phone has expired, but I don't really use the premium features anyways (apart from the personalization color theming, which I'm fine for not having). I mainly use Before launcher now, a simple homepage with a clock and 3 apps that I chose which was messages, music, and task-notes.

I dont uninstall Minimalist launcher because their notification filter is actually useful for tucking away almost all the garbage from my actual notif bar, and because Before launcher's notification filter is so easily accessible from the homepage that they simply don't work in-practice from its purpose of hiding the spam-y notifications from view.

Minimalist phone also got the annoying pop-up of mindful app usage feature for every potential timesink apps, a feature which comes for free whereas Ascent offered them as a subscription service, and theirs aren't even half as effective in-practice as Minimalist's.

"All apps" menu can be accessed thru Samsung's built-in Edge panel feature from the app shortcut section. There, I make a folder of basic utility apps, and I'm really aiming for the functionality of old keypad phones that only helps certain tasks while trying to not become timesink.

Samsung Internet can force system fonts into any site visited, so now my Twitter feed looks atrocious with Franosch, BBS too, any site really. So that's what I used to browse the net mainly now. Tbh, my entire phone reads atrociously now with that font, I paid 2 lunch servings for that font.

Every now and then I changed the wallpaper and fonts, either anime or artworks, or scenery. Every fonts I picked also looks atrocious, this is by design so using my phone always makes anyone feel like they wanna claw their eyeballs out.

I think that's about it... I still averaged my screen time 10 hours a day though, so what does that actually imply?

implies you need a job, i literally just don't have the time do that lmao

>>17 That sounds fair, but the missing context is that I spent more than half a day on campus and two third of that time is spent on my theatre troupe instead of my classes. My days are filled with dread as I ponder what awaits ahead, what mistakes am I making and continue to make, and how will the alumnis react to what I've done to their beloved almamater.

I shouldn't really care too much, but I can't help having the anxieties and worries.

Welp, mistakes were made. It's currently 94°F/34°C outside and 83°F/28°C in my house lol. The weather really did a sudden spike in heat, like it was seriously only in the 80s yesterday and then today it decided to be in the 90s. Tomorrow it's going to be back in the 80s which is when my new ac is going to arrive. I was hoping that the temp would be mild until at least June so I put off buying a new ac until now. I guess this summer is going to be another extreme one like last year.
Pro tip for the adults in chat: Don't buy an old house. It's cheap on the initial cost, but then you have to spend a lot of money updating everything and buying new appliances.

Also I've been working on kinda crafty things lol. I've had these old Junior Ranger booklets sitting in my arts and craft box for *years* and since its so hot and I can't be bothered to do fuck all I decided to pull them out and work on them for a bit. I almost got the Grand Teton booklet done, I just have two pages left to do, but one of them involves asking my sis for info (cause she worked there for a summer) so I'll have to wait on that. I worked a little bit on my Yellowstone booklet, but those worksheets take some involvement and after getting through most of the Grand Teton one my brain was starting to feel fried. I wound up not even touching my Petrified Forest and Paleontologist booklets. One day I will get my badges for these parks lmao.

Oh and also, since I no longer actively checks twitter, my gallery no longer gets new memes in bulk. And that actually subconsciously disincentivize skimming thru the gallery I feel, I need something that pulls image from gallery at random, so I can see them in new and fresh ways. I wonder if such function has been made by someone before?

>>19 or you could just buy an old house and continue living in a shit house

yea

>>21 (Pie) Bruh. XD

>>19 (Nyanka)
Think that's just something you have to consider for homeownership in general. Even the newest homes will wear down eventually, and emergencies happen as well. I think with older homes, it's just a sooner rather than later type of thing. Still, definitely not a cost many keep in mind. That's why my sister and I are saving beyond the 4.5% downpayment we'll need with the FHA loan. (We have about 4x that amount by now, I think, but you can never be too careful)

>>10 AHH ANOTHER OTR OF THE FLAME READER!! Every comment about it was either about Red Hood or saying muscle mommy so oof-

>>24 lmaoooo. but nah i get it, its yuki kawaguchi's second work.


like i love otr for what it is so far. its so peak

Had a great time in New Mexico.

The baby shower was nice. It was a cute space theme, which is no surprise since my friend jokes that she's an alien. I almost made her cry with my gift, which was the closest she got to crying the whole time (and she says she thinks she only didn't cry cause she was too dehydrated to, lol). I don't really plan on having kids of my own, and she's like a sister to me, so I gave her one of my childhood stuffed animals to pass down to her daughter. I also made some scrunchies so that they could eventually match once the little girl has enough hair to do so, haha. I wanted my gifts to last beyond just infancy and have meaning to them. I'm glad she appreciated them <3
It was nice to hang out with her and part of her family. Only one of her siblings and her aunt were able to fly out to attend, but they were great company nonetheless. We had a nice lunch the day after the shower too. My sibling and another friend did a little visit at Pistachioland too, which was a neat place. Not worth seeking out, but a nice stop if you're already in the area.

My dumbass sibling locked us out of the car right as we were about to head back to Arizona. My friend's husband and aunt tried so hard to help us break into the car, but we ended up having to wait 2 hours for roadside assistance, and didn't get home until 1 am. That was... certainly an experience.

All in all, it was a great time and I'm glad I had enough PTO saved up to be able to go out and do that. Now to survive this last week of school with all the kiddos riled up and ready to be done....

>>26 sounds fun. not the car bit, unless you had smth to do on the side of the road for 2 hrs.

Writing all day every day. I love having days off.

My mood swings around from its so over to I am god pretty intensely the last few days, can't be good.

>>29 Relatable. Every day is crying, gloom or endless hope.

try going outside, feeling sad by going outside, then going back in

I dont need phantom pain, I want something real and tangible, I want bruises, I want cuts, I want physical wounds, not a never ending uneasy feelings in my heart, or stomachache induced from the depths of my anxiety.

I think I get why famous performers misuse drugs.

>>32 bro go get a partner

I am sleep deprived, adrenaline fueled, skipped lunch, and is responsible for many people that serves me, and I am not sure if I could deliver, and I can no longer do anything about it except to wait for the results to come out.

It might be better to wish for a huge rain so that at least its valid to believe that situations are beyond my control. If not, I don't know if I could bear the weight of the implications of what I've done, what I've neglected all the last few months.

????????????????

i feel like i need context bro, because what you've been talking about here so far is not enough of it

>>35 probably after I'm done with it in about 4 hours, an excruciatingly long and arduous 4 hour.

real

>>35 Held an internal party meeting, prepared a mini theatrical performance for the last 4 weeks, stayed up 2 nights setting up the decorations, the invitees all but two never gave direct confirmation that they'll attend. Open gate dawned, 20 minutes in and no one's come still, my body fills with dread. A birthday party of my very own getting no attendance is fine, at least I'll be the one getting the brunt. But an organizational party? Where people took their time to contribute something that was coined up by me? Where no one attends? That will haunt me, that's not just me being disappointed, that's everyone being disappointed and I'm at the center of it all, bearing everyone's weights.

Anyways, 9 or so people attended, out of like 60 invitations sent out. So it works out in the end.

"Things always seem to fall apart towards the end, but that's just the one last step before success." Read that somewhere, it rings true for me.

>>38 yeah thats gotta suck

>>39 A Few hours before the supposed opening time, I was contemplating whether I was supposed to also contact the invitees and coax them into attending beforehand, since I held an important position in the organization.

I had no way of verifying whether my lack of action and interference had any effect on the invitees attendance compared to the previous year's party event, so the possibility of guilt just eats me alive and knocks me down on the stomache with the ache and heart with tight.

Am drunk, this is funny feeling experience. Im feeling wobbly and fortunately i have colleagues to pick me up to someones crib and took a little nap until the drunk subsides

I yap a lot, like, lot lot, its 4am rn.

>>40 answer is yes.

>>41 yap more

>>42 eat shit and die.

KING DRAGON DOJO OVER ON FRUIT NINJA CLASSIC WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>43 this one combined with old glory blade is really fun, the golden dragonfruit falling in slowmode really gives a whole new way of experiencing the game.

The entire day I thought it was Tuesday. Wow, I have the day off tomorrow! :D

>>45 nice, pog