Nothing to special here, I'm just a little annoyed right now so I'm just laying out some stuff.

My friend and I met a couple years ago, we were really good friends and I considered us pretty close. After 8 months or so of being friends, I had to go away for stuff for a half year so some distance was created but we still texted often while I was gone.

I got back home, but we didn't hang out in person because we were both pretty busy with our own things but we still text frequently.

A couple months being back home, I asked if they wanted to hang out, they agreed and appeared to be excited to hang out sometime in the future, but flaked out on me because things came up (they got sick, had surprise visit with family, their friend needed them, ect.). This happened basically every single weekend I attempted to make plans. After 2 months of this, I asked if they really wanted to hang out, and if they didn't I was fine with it, they claimed they did want to hang out, and that they were just too busy, but they'd let me know when they were less busy.

An important note is that while they were always too busy during this period and every period following this, they still had plenty of time to hang out with other friends on weekends and other off days. Albeit their other friends lived slightly closer than me, but if distance was actually the issue, I was willing to take on the inconvenience.

Skip to them being less busy, and they say they're going to have a bonfire coming up soon. They say they'll let me know details later, but ghost me the entire weekend the bonfire was supposed to be. We still text a lot in this time, they were having issues with other friends so I've been supporting them throughout their difficulties.

I then get busy and a couple more weeks pass before we have another opportunity to hang out. I text them when the opportunity is there and they again agree that they want to hang out. We set on Saturday and they say they'll let me know the time that will work for them. They flake me again for the entire weekend, and text me on Sunday around midnight apologizing saying they got sick Friday night and were too sick to text me at all.

I wanted to believe it, but I found it difficult because they were actually legitimately sick the week prior, enough to go to the health clinic and get prescribed medication, yet text me the entire time that it happened.

On Monday I told them I didn't believe they were sick. To which they got mad I didn't believe them. I then pointed out how they've always been busy going out of town to see family, being sick, babysitting cousins, a lot of work, or too much school, yet were constantly hanging out with other friends. Their response was "sorry you feel that way".

Following this, there grew a lot of distance between us. I tried to close it by doing what I could, even apologizing for my comment about her only being "too busy" to hang out with me, but having enough time for everyone else, despite it not being wrong in any way. She accepted the apology, but stayed distant for over a month, rarely responding to attempts at conversation, and even rarer, texting me first for any reason at all (but if they text me first, it was because they needed to vent).

2 days ago, they text me at night to vent about something, but they weren't really venting about anything major and I had since lost interest in texting them given I had been more or less ghosted for a month straight.

Yesterday, late in the morning, they text me again, this time with an extensive apology for having distanced themselves from me for the past month, saying they had a "rude awakening" about how they've treated me. I didn't know why they were doing it, but the way they were acting definitely felt different than the previous night, and it almost sounded completely genuine and not a ploy to just vent to me again (They had a lot of other friend problems recently cause some close friends were being rude and it caused some falling out, which I had been supporting despite them ignoring me outside of the venting).

I forgave them and all that, to which we started texting normally again until about 3 pm which is when they told me their grandparent had been in a car accident. The way they said it made it sound as if it had JUST HAPPEND, or they had JUST FOUND OUT. I felt bad, ignoring the convenient coincidence, and did my best to support them about it, even though I'm not experience in supporting people dealing with things like this. Today they text me more about the crash and have been venting their feelings about it.

Then they sent me a picture of crash that they've gotten from somewhere, and while it's not the best picture, I can tell the street it happened on and have a slight orientation to where it exactly is. Yesterday morning, the sky was really dull, almost a foggy blue dull outside of the sun rising in the east causing some variation. That sky matches the sky in the picture. Which at first I figured that maybe I had it wrong or that it was actually sunsetting and just a bad section of the sky, but they told me about the crash mid day, so if it had happened then, it would've been bright and sunny like it was noon.

So that suggests that their grandparent got in a crash, early-mid morning, they text me around 10-11 am with an apology, and then tell me about the crash at 3 pm, to which they starting dumping vent stuff onto me.

Don't get me wrong, I care about them, and I actually don't mind them using me to vent if they need to. But to seriously not just straight up tell me their grand parent got in a crash, and let me know immediately what was going on, and then make it sound like it happened later so they could use me to vent, pisses me off.

Like I don't care if they use me as a friend, but like why can't they just have the guts to do it straight up, why do they need to plot out a plan like this. And I don't want to call them out on this now because their grand parent is not in the best condition and I don't want to add extra stress to them.

Fuck me. I'm just annoyed as hell. congrats if anyone actually read this.

Tbh if I were you, after they stopped venting things on me and distance us again, I would just stop the friendship. I think that it's one of those times when you need to let your friend go. I had a similar problem where I was away for over a year or so and couldn't physically see my best friend. But we texted a lot. Then one day we stopped texting each other. And I don't think that we're 'best friends' anymore. I mean I don't have the right to tell you what to do but this was just from my experience. I dunno if you were looking for advice but if you were, i hope this helps

>>2 thanks for sharing your opinion. I actually feel I might be slightly disregarding the legitimacy of their "rude awakening" from the crash. Because of this, I've decided from further thought, to wait and see if there is any developments that happen outside the venting especially when their grand parent gets better. If they stop messaging me following this then I will probably take your advice.