This is a thread for telling secrets. From what I've seen, while you have the same ID within a thread, you have different IDs in different threads. So here we post secrets. With an anonymous name nobody knows who we are. I'll start.

I once long-distance dated a girl, who didn't realize she didn't have long distance texting in her phone plan, and I ran up her phone bill 50,000 dollars. When she told me this I blocked her, and got my number change. I probably ruined her life.

I cyberbullied my "friend" without her knowing it was me and that made her cry. I actually felt good/proud of myself.

OOH! What was this third post?

The third post was up for about a hour yesterday. Before the person deleted it they said that the girl deserves better than >>2. I don’t know why it was deleted by the post just was a big rant at >>2.

>>2 is very bold to have said that the girl was his ‘friend.’ If she was his ‘friend’ he would not want nor dream of making her cry. She deserve’s better than you.

Repost of 3rd

Well whoever posted the third post, I must say, this isn't a place for judgement, it's a place to get guilt off your chest anonymously. I do suggest posting anonymously, and please do not pass judgment on each other.

I have a secret that I have been struggling with. A few years ago I was addicted to drugs and recently I have relapsed. It was only once but two weeks after I got my one year chip from NA(narcotics anonymous), and to be honest I don't know why I relapsed, could have been a couple of small things I guess. I just don't feel right anymore. I haven't even told my sponsor because I am afraid if I tell anyone all those months of being clean will be for not.

>>7 In the path of recovery there will always be times where you misstep. Don't be to hard on yourself, accept your mistake, and learn from it to better yourself. I do recommend you telling your sponsor to fully internalize what happened, and continue to move forward from this. I'm proud of you for the progress that you've made so far. It's very hard to kick an addiction, and you've shown that you are a strong person, capable to beat the addiction. Thank you for sharing.

>>9 This isn't an advice thread. We're not here to help him with his addiction, he's here to tell us that dark secret. Please don't turn this thread into an advice thread. this is for sharing dark secrets anonymously.

Me and my gf both really like the idea of DB/SU style fusing into one person and just being happy being ourself.

Bump for the secret telling thread.

I had planned to kill myself in 2015– I had a date picked and a note written, but I didn't end up going through with the attempt. I didn't tell anyone before or after the date passed. I felt guilty that I "let myself" get that bad, I felt weak that I couldn't cope with my life well enough, and I didn't want to hurt or worry my friends. I still feel this way. I don't want them to think of me any differently, either. I don't think I'll ever tell them.

I've got some heavy, boarderline illegal, secrets to share, but I'm worried someone might trace it back to me or call the police on me. :/

Don’t worry. The most they can do on this website is look at your id.

I've experimented with my dog.

Bump

Bump

I have done some awful things to my friends in the past, sometimes purely out of spite, and I'm awake at night with guilt. So around 2 or so weeks ago I joined the Dollars to try to give back to society what I so cruelly stole

I have major depression, anxiety, and insomnia as well as dementophobia and I never told anyone. I don't like burdening people with my problems. I also knew about very dark things since I was about 9 years old.

I have a very serious personality disoerder sometimes,but no one know about this. When its time for me to change my personality,they always though it was some kind of mood swing. Ive been like this since i was 8.

You are awful, how could you do that to the poor girl? You should not date in the future you weasel or I hope that someone extorts you so that you know how if feels. She's your girlfriend for goodness sake

I hope that those who confessed would try to improve themselves and if you did something wrong, please make it up to them. Also, the girl who cyberbullied your friend, you are absolutely despicable and this is my true opinion of you, I am not ashamed to say my thoughts and I am at the very least, being straightforward with you than to lie that it is 'not that bad'. You should not have friends since apparently, you treat none of them as your 'friends' but tools to derive satisfaction. I sincerely hope that you would not do something like that again and if you fear exposing your identity to her by apologizing, perhaps do something kind anonymously for her. Additionally, I see nothing wrong by providing feedback. This thread may be to share secrets but others who see it should be able to comments as well. Have a nice day, preferably not by making others miserable.

>>23 I think you're being a bit harsh. The people you're mentioning probably already know what they've done is bad, which is why they're feeling guilty enough to confess on a thread. If they feel bad about it, it means they're already a better person than they were before. They don't need people kicking them when they're down, especially when you seem like you're trying to encourage them to be kinder.

>>23>>22 THIS IS NOT A THREAD TO GIVE ADVICE OR CAST JUDGEMENT. JUST A THREAD TO SHARE SECRETS! AS JEBUS OF NETHERRELM ONCE SAID "SHUT".

Sometimes, I felt like no one is really on my back. Sure I got some friends, everyone is on good terms with me, but then what? Will they or anyone really backs me up when the time comes? If only I'm never an introvert, things would've been nicer. I know some of my friend had a rougher life than me, but they got friends they can count on, so I guess it didn't matter to them as long as they're together.

Some people also secluded me from others, from a simple thing as seeing what are they doing, they avoid my eye from seeing what they're doing. And then someone came in and trying to see what did he do, and he lets it through. It broke me a little everytime someone does that, and when everyone does that... You know the rest.

One more, this one happens on canteen like a lot. I mean, we ate together and when someone was about to leave, they said their good byes that goes like 'I've got something to do, so I'm going k' or something like that. Its already like a habit. But its me that's left on the table, they will kept chatted and left without saying anything. Ignoring me that is now alone eating at the table, and its not just once or even twice. They did it a lot, and there is no way I can get angry about something as simple as that.

I can't tell this to anyone, posting it here won't clear the feeling of hurt inside my heart. But I may feel slightly better, I can only hope. Because my personality that everybody knows will contradict if I ever talked about this, so here goes some stories for y'all to read.

My secret is that I'm really a sad and insecure person.

Everyone who stays with me on the path of friendship eventually discovers that I am not the cheery, shy girl that I make myself to be during the "acquaintance" phase of relationships, and even my lover seems to have distanced himself after realizing my true self and it is horribly depressing to think my sadness and fear drives everyone away, though i know that it is a normal reaction.

I miss my innocence, and now see the value in ignorance.

At times I want to die, but no one takes me seriously. I like to think that the only reason why i have not done it is because some part of me believes in myself, and I would like to live and better myself... to find happiness and peace within myself... to free myself mentally from the hands of society.

>>27Yo, is this who I think it is? Veloceraptor? If you are who I think you are, than you should know who I am, please message me.

Everyday I fear I have failed.

>>29 not much of a secret UwU

>>30 Please don't judge others' secrets. That goes against the purpose of this thread.

I still have suicide as a backup plan if things go wrong even though I've told my loved ones that I'm not considering it anymore.

My grandfather sexually assaulted me once and I think about it everyday

I just realized something recently. I spent most of my life just trying to impress other and to help the other in need. I just went with the flow when someone in need, I helped them, accompany them going through their problems. Now after they're success, I'm still here, don't know what to do. My life had been stagnant. I feels like I am just a puppet even among my family. I applied college based on my parents' opinion, even now after I graduated I submitted my resume to companies that my family choose for me. I asked my "friends" for help to looking for a job vacancies that I really wanted to apply to... No answer from them, like all I did to them in the past was in vain. I told my life problem to someone that I considered "close friends" they heard me halfheartedly even some of them said that they're too busy. All I want is just they heard my voice into their hearts and freedom to choose what I really wanted to do. But it's all to late now. I don't know where and how life will treat me from this moment. I even tried to hide my sadness in front of them. I always tried to look strong in front of them, but honestly I'm broken inside, having my rights and freedom stripped away from me. I guess it's my fault to live this way, I should also think about myself in the past and choose my own path. If only I can rewind time, maybe it wouldn't be this way. For those who read this by accident or not. Thank you for reading this, I hope you guys didn't make the same mistake as me. It's good to help other people but don't forget to think about yourself too.

>>33 if you wanted to help people get to success, and managed that then you didn’t fail at life. If you truly wanted to help them succeed, and managed to help them succeed then you are the one who has truly succeeded. Don’t look at the fact that they have succeeded and you are still where you are, look at how you helped that person succeed and without you they may have never succeeded. That is the ultimate victory. To know You helped someone get somewhere that you couldn’t or they couldn’t without you is the best feeling you can have.

You are not a failure, you are not a puppet. Look at yourself in a better light, look at yourself through the glasses of a helper, and then you will see the true light that shines inside you. You are Beautiful. Without you other people would be in worse situations than they are now. You helped people succeed, you are the true victor, you are the light that shines upon the darkness of those without a torch.

>>33 even if they don’t realise it, appreciate it or acknowledge it, you were the one who helped them. Some people can’t admit to have needed help. At lead you know you were the one who caused there success whether they acknowledge it or not.

>>34 >>35 This is a secret telling thread. People are not looking for advice or judgement. If they wanted that, they'd post a new thread.

>>35 thank you, you open my mind, I'm sheding tears of happiness right now. I'll continue my life with a brighter light.

>>36 read >>37 and Try tell me I shouldn’t have gave advice.

>>37 you should be happy you have helped people when they were in need, and for that you’re one of the greatest people I know.

>>37>>38 The language used in 37 is incredibly stiff and unnatural. You both made the same grammatical errors, so you're probably the same person. Nevertheless, this is a thread for secret telling, not judging others. If they wanted advice they would have made a separate thread, but they didn't. Therefore you shouldn't have said anything. Do not give advice on this thread. /sage

>>39 nice to know... to bad the ID is different and my ID is the same as it was in >>35. If I changed my ID it would be the same as >>37, of which it isn’t. Good claim anyway, just wish you looked into it first.

Ok so one time I almost bullied my best friend to the point she almost killed herself because she was dating a guy I liked, she broke up with him and I decided I didn't want him. Anyways in the end she forgave me and stuff, I promised I wouldn't hurt anyone again but its so hard, I'm probably crazy...to tell you the truth I don't feel bad about it

Whenever I close my eyes for an extended period of time I start to hear voices. Sometimes it's a little girl and other times it's an adult male. It kinda spooks me but I never tell people.

>>40 hones get mobile data. it's the dollars easiest trick to make one post on home wifi and one post on mobile data.

>>43 Honestly sounds to me like you're just slowly falling asleep and hearing voices because you're half asleep.

>>42 This is the kind of shit I made this thread for.

I was friend-with-benefits with one of my friends. We did it to win a bet. It lasted for three weeks. Since then I’ve been craving for more of it.

>>44 your the OP and your braking your own rules No Advice.

>>46 it wasn't advice, it was an explaination for it.

When I was younger, I was kicked out of school because I was mentally unstable. I then had to get clearance from a psychiatric office where I lied my way through the entire day.

Had I told the truth, I would have been sent to a psychiatric hospital. I'd still probably be in it today if it weren't for my lies.

>>39 yes it's stiff because I was overwhelmed and speechles by their words. You can delete my post if you want

>>49 Nigga don't try to guild people with shit like "whatever just delet my pos" >:/

Bump

Thanks >>49

Bump

Bump

Someone added me to Snapchat but I wasn't sure who it was so I added them to see. It was this girl that I might have met at some point but I don't remember and she always adds me on different social medias. No clue why. It's sort of annoying having her added on Snapchat because not only do I not really know her personally, but I also think she is super ugly and lame. I'm just going to unfollow her and move on but trying to just have her added and deal with it has been pretty annoying. I thought I would post this here just because I needed to get it off my chest and OP has done a pretty good job at making sure others don't judge or give advice on here.

I always feel butterflies when I chat you and now I feel the good and guilty pleasure of this....

>>56 who is "You"?

I left my old school because of myself and my primary school friends, or I should address them as just classmates which I just want to burn the history I had with them and make them forget who I was. I was being the one who always played victim and my friends are above me, good in every aspects, I didn't want to look at them because I know the more I look at them the more I feel I want to cry because of how I am so below them. I know that each of them had their flaws but I tried to make myself better but I feel like I would never catch up with them and I feel that they didn't need me even tho they say some stuff like "No, we wouldn't abandon you." , "Have we ever said you were useless to us?" and so on but even tho I tried to convince myself that i'm not just a piece of trash there I keep feeling that they are better off without me, so then I left the school, my so called friends messaged me asking like how was I or I'm sorry we didn't pay much attention to you but I just deleted their contacts because I didn't want to look back at the past, there are some things that I left out but those things are really personal. Right now I go homeschooling, I chosed that I could never go back and I just want things to just flow without plunging with the past. I am now scared that people are gonna judge me and give me advices, please don't do it I just wrote this to get it off my chest. The fault is not my classmates, the fault is the choices I made myself.

I wish that I was more outgoing like other people. I feel like I stay home all the time and want to be alone but then I envy people who are more outgoing and have more things going on in their lives. I remember being decently popular in high school but now, because of my desire to stay out of the spotlight or be alone, I don't know anyone anymore and I've become a little too invisible.

For about a year i had this is voice telling me to pack my thing and go away from my Parents and friends without saying anything. I've been able to keep it down but it gets stronger and stronger every Day. I'm still in collage and have good friends and idk what to do. I tired seeking proffesional help, but it did not help. What to do.

>>60 re type all of what you wrote in a new thread. Because you are asking for help but if I help you I’ll be told off ^-^

bump, because this was a really interesting thread and I hope it gets added to.

I decided to get along with a girl who loved me only because she had a car accident and I pitied her .sooner I dumped her

I think I'm a bit of a psychopath I think because I often target people so they get attached to me and I have a lot of conrtol over them. I'm a girl with normal looks and know what people want to hear. That often caused that people fall in love with me but I only play with them. Sometimes it's people with mental illness. They feel good because I tell them what they want to hear but later dump them when I got bored and they don't have anymore use for them. I'm from a shitty family and had a troubled childhood so I like to steal love and trust from others. I get them attached to me and then ignoring them and made them break up with someone or set them into bad situations. I'm not really able no hold onto a relationship because I tend to only play with people and don't really feel empathy or love. Yet I am in a relationship but still make people (espacially online) to fall in love with me and keep it a secret that I have a BF. I destroyed lots of relationships and life because of that trait. Honestly sometimes I have moments were I feel guilty and just want someone who sees the true me.

I cut

I've caused suicides,killed people,and destroyed lives all for fun.I lie to doctors to get pills.I have a broken family that shouldn't be together and tormented my family mentally I sell and buy stuff on the dark\deep web.I'm addicted to pills and different drugs just to get high and I started smoking tobacco sense I was 12 just to kill myself slowly.While that's is just the tip of the ice burg I'm a very dark individual.

I raped a girl but she was kinda into it too so nothing bad happened.

Had a time in my life where I thought that all life was equal and precious but now I just don't care. This is mostly cause there's a person I really want to kill. Believe me or not but I don't think killing is bad thing so long as the person deserves it. So my life would be much better if I had just took the many opportunities and killed that person (or at least ruined their life either physically, emotionally or mentally) and I think about that regret often.

I hug my pillow pretending it's a girl I like at school.

I sometimes purposely give fake opinions to start flame wars.

I'm pretending to be so nice in school and in some places most of the time, but on my mind, I'm always swearing and always thinking of some bad shits.

my dad raped my mom 6 times and now shes a completely different person now that she has to deal with so many kids. she used to be so happy and spend time with everyone but now she screams and yells and would often get into fights with my dad. she once threw a glass plate at him and yelled at me to clean it up. she had a horrible childhood as well. her parents would both abuse her and her mom once tried taking her and her brothers to run away from the house just to get away from her dad. then just last year her mom, dad, and very good childhood friend all passed away. her childhood friend shot herself in the head and her parents just passed away from old age. my mom doesnt have a good life and i know she only yells and hits me just because of her horrible past. i hope she gets well soon.

I think my life is boring. I have a nice and peaceful life but like that's boring? It's all the same thing every morning, all the same each day. Someday I know my life will grow but I'm also scared...I'll loose people I love in the future. I'm scared of moving on but I can't wait at the same time.

I stole this kid's laptop during finals week. He just left his backpack alone and out in the open so I took it and found the laptop and tossed the backpack. My laptop was old as shit and my family is poor as fuck so I couldn't afford to buy a new one since I still had to pay for room and my meal plan (not justifying just explaining).
Anyway I took it home with me during winter break and reset it.
I only got caught because I brought it back to school with me and they tracked the serial number when I connected to the school wifi. I got suspended, have to do community service, and write an essay "reflecting on my actions".
I don't feel bad about stealing the thing. I feel stupid that I didn't pawn it so I could've bought a new computer and had some pocket money. I read the report and they had no suspects, the cameras in the library didn't work, I would've never got caught if I just used my head. But my dumbass decided to keep it because it was an Apple Mac. But whatever I know better now.
I wanted to get this off my chest if I told anyone I knew personally they would probably think I'm psycho.

In high school I had a nightmare that my father orally raped me. It was the most digusting thing ever. I never told anyone I had this dream, I've never even put it into writing until now because I always tried to pretend it never happened. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

Once I came across a sexist comment (I atleast took it to be sexist) on a site, and I basically started ranting at the op on why what he was saying was wrong. I didn’t call the guy names or anything, but it was pretty aggressive and definitely very pretentious. I’m generally not an impulsive person when it comes to stuff like that, but this time I just saw red (in hindsight, probably because I was tired and lots of other things were happening in my life at the time. i began writing at like 2 am - not that that’s an excuse). When I began getting replies for it a while later (also aggressive replies, "shut the fuck up you bitch" and the like - not that it wasn’t entirely undeserved), I tried to apologize for having started off so aggressive and for writing what was basically a really shitty essay, though I said I still thought what the guy wrote was sexist bs. Then the op began responding, and basically just began mocking me, and defended himself saying it was a joke, "you need to chill, you’re being stuck up", etc. It just went downhill from there, so I stopped going to the comment section, and ended up deleting my account altogether.

I know this is extremely tame compared to other people here, but I’ve honestly thought about this a lot. This has genuinely never happened to me before (both that Ive started ranting at a complete stranger, and that I’ve been mocked to this extent); in the past I thought myself above being this rash and overly emotional, but I now see that I’m really not. I feel partly ashamed and embarrassed of my own initial conduct, but also kinda happy that it happened. I really felt like I’ve learned from the experience, it’s been humbling and that’s good. It also made me marie kondo my life, and now I actively stay off sites i know isn’t healthy for me, so that’s really good.
At the same time, I’m very interested in history and that ended up in the conversation, and I realize in hindsight I might have said some stuff that were inaccurate. Because I more or less acted like a know-it-all, now I feel embarrassed when I open a history book, go on history blogs, see medieval stuff, etc. It makes me feel like a fraud, and that’s not very fun, but I can’t help it either.

But honestly, I’m terrified someone screenshotted the thing and posted it to twitter or something lol. I've seen subreddits, youtube channels and such being dedicated to those kind of things and tbh those things have always made me a bit uncomfortable

I,m actually addicted to porn
just needed to get that off my chest

Somtimes I wish something bad would actually happen to me, just so I have an excuse for why I feel like shit all the time.

While I often keep up the appearance of being on a healthy diet for weight loss and actually manage to stick to it when around others, I often stress eat fast food when in private.

I really do care abt my ex. It just sucks that I'm not vocal abt my feelings sooo :|

I feel like my girlfriend is drifting away-

I love humans

i'm in love with a guy for 3 years, and i just realised this 4 months ago.

fu c k

so not my life plan

Simply put, I love humans. Think about it humans are the most interesting creatures you could hope to find. And when I said humans I meant all humans, not just you specifically, important detail

I like certain people.

I usually lie to people around me (usually my personality and everything about me) that it came a time that my lies came out of control that i had to make that lie the truth. For a long time i managed to maintain those lies that i made up but i felt guilty for what i am doing but i still keep on doing it because i had no choice

My sister sexually used me when i was a child and its broken my trust of people and ruined my self confidence since

School forced me to get depressed and to have suicidal thoughts, and I attempted to commit suicide by drowning myself in a friends pool because of them.
Note: I’m currently getting help

I think I'm beginning to lose touch with myself and I can't stop being distant

I have deep self-hate and depression. I tried to strangle myself two weeks ago, and most of it is because I know that the guy I love doesn't love me. And I don't have many friends, or help dealing with these things.

I honestly don't give a fuck.

My family always wonder why I take too long in the bath or why I skip meals or why sometimes I refuse to sleep or why I don't bring friends home. I never told them the reason why because I was too ashamed of it.

I don't really want to call it 'having imaginary friends'. It's more like creating a world through imagination and then imagining living things talking to me. It doesn't matter if it is human or not.

In my imaginary world, I'm the best in everything. like EVERYTHING. I am smart, attractive, rich, a good role model... just everything that I am not in the real world. Everyone in there look up to me, if not then they are in good terms with me.

People call it 'daydreaming'. If that's what they call it, then I suppose I am daydreaming for about 12 hours a day. I daydream when I walk, when I am sitting in class, when I am eating... every time that I am not doing anything. Sometimes, I make random faces for no reason at all! I talk to myself and it's really hard to hold back whenever I am in public.

I skip classes just to daydream.
I don't eat just to daydream.
I rarely take a bath because I don't want to my daydreaming to be interrupted.
If I do bathe, I take hours because I daydream.
I get mad if my daydreaming gets interrupted.

I want to stop, but at the same time I don't want to.

I kinda feel like a murderer sometimes, like it'd be so satisfying to kill someone sometimes, but I know it's bad but I'm scared I'll lose control from anger or something, but I think I'll be fine hopefully

Sometimes I fantasize about coming out to my father and his side of our extended family. If our family & his village knew this about me, then he would be disgraced. He'd completely lose face and all the respect he's earned these past few decades. The thought that I could basically ruin his life with one little facet of my existence feels good. If I'm feeling kind enough during the next couple of decades, then I'll wait until he's already passed away to come out. But for now I'm holding on to it like a secret weapon.

When I was a preteen, my parents always insisted that I spent time outside playing. Problem was, there was nobody my age living nearby, with the youngest person other than me being 4 years older, already into puberty.
So, like it or not, I became friends with this boy. After some time, hormones got the best of him and he decided to play naughty games with me. Nothing too serious at first, par for the course as far as kids go.
Eventually though, things escalated. It began with him inviting his younger cousin, who was one year younger than me, to play with us. I do not want to go into much detail, but basically, after some messing around and a few dares, I ended up buck naked and tied up (willingly mind you) and 'servicing' both of them.
This dragged on for months, and I eventually found myself with a crush on the younger boy, while the older one was more of a facilitator.

Since then, I always liked those younger than me. Instead of gawking at the older girls around, I prefered the boys and girls from younger classes. I did not think much of it at first, but as I grew older, I noticed my tastes did not scale with my age. Instead of liking those a year younger than me, I still liked the same age group, which was now several years younger.
This did not change and even now, as a adult with a job and responsibilities, I still feel attraction to that age group, something that would of course ruin me if it came out, both socially and legally.

Most interesting thing is, I do not feel bad about it. Much is said about child abuse and so on, but even so many years later, I still look back on my memories fondly, rather than feeling violated. And if I as a child could enjoy such things, why can others not?

TLDR: Because of fooling around as a kid, I became a pedophile and I do not regret it.

Whenever I'm waiting at my bus stop at every morning, there's a lot of different busses that passes by. I always think about jumping in front of it. There's no reason why I would but the fact that I'm 3 steps away from death is a overwhelming. A small part of me wants to try it, I'm scared that I might actually do it sometimes. But I keep thinking how there's no reason for me to get hit by a bus like that, I have a pretty normal life, still I wonder what it would be if I do it?

I don't know why since I grew up rather normal but my personality is somehow rather abnormal. Oftentimes I ask myself what it feels like to hurt someone, to kill someone, to torture someone. It's not that I like violence, In fact I am rather disturbed by it but that intellectual part inside of me wants to gain that knowledge. Knowledge drives me oftentimes to step over moral and ethics. Reminds me of those sociopathic scientists in novels or movies. But according to my medical files and all the tests I had to go through in my youth I'am just a mild asperger-case. But everyone I met in my life who had asperger or autism had nothing familiar about them. They share a lot of traits and behaviours with me but they differ. it feels like monkeys imitating me in a zoo. So what am I? Why am I devoid of morals and ethics and yet manage to convince people I'm a bastion of morality and rightousness, for I am not even lying to them but instead just adapting to their liking. Am I just the hyperbel ofmoral ambivalence or a blank paper? Am I good as many claim or am I evil for only doing what is 'right' without sharing their views and convictions? I am forced to be a good guy by society but without society what monster would I be? A monster of reason. A demon of logic. I am one of a few. The bane of society. The wrath of God. With a heart but yet heartless. A conscious being without conscience bound by the chains of civilisation. What if they come of one day? Should I be allowed to live? I am far from being emotionless. I can feel empathy but I can choose not to. As far as my life experience tells me it's not normal to have that choice. It confuses me. What am I? Good or evil? I can't say. And I will never ever ask someone in my pesonal life to avoid being branded abnormal by others.

When I was 6 years old. My mother hired a new housemaid for me and my twin sister since the recent housemaid couldn't handle us. I couldn't tell you her real name but let's say her name is Gwen. Gwen would always act kind and nice when my mother and father is around but she would punish us in terrible ways whenever my mother and father wasn't around. Whenever we would go outside and play, she would smoke and date the janitors and the security guards in our neighborhood. One day when me and my sister went to fetch her in the 18th floor (we live in the 22th floor in our apartment) we saw her chatting with a Indian man. She introduced him to us and as 6 year-olds well, me and my twin sister thought he was her friend. They were having a video chat. When they're video chat ended, she told me and my twin sister not to tell anyone about this. We have no idea why but we just went along with it. Me and my sister didn't know at that time that the Indian man was ordering her to strip in exchange for money. However, she didn't last that long in the household after my mother found out that she like just I said, strip off in front of the camera in exchange for cash. And not only that, my mother also learned from our other housemaid that she planned to take father's offer in making her work in Province, hook up with all the security guards, and also get pregnant by my father. After this, my mother ordered her to leave the house calmly and to never come back again. I don't know what happened to her now, but me and my twin sister are still keeping her secret like she told us to. I don't remember the man's name, but I still remember his face.

I lie constantly, I’m addicted to my phone, and I just can’t seem to care anymore. It’s easy nowadays to meet someone at school and get their phone number all just so I can distract my family about talking about this random person like I know them. I don’t mind sitting alone at lunch actually I prefer it but I didn’t want my family to worry so I just started talking about people I’ve meet. Then I make up stories about our day on the spot when they bring up school because I procrastinate which causes my grades to be low. It’s pretty harmless my secret but I’m technically using other people’s names for my benefit. The very reason why my phone has deferent peoples numbers is just my proof. Something that I fall back on when they ask about my friends, I choose someone with a difficult last name and ask how I should pronounce it. This secret of mine is the most harmless I have.

Semi Anonymous because I don't really mind people knowing this, I just never told anyone.

When I was about 6 years old, I accidentally killed two kittens. These kittens appeared one day over the course of two days. My neighbor friend and I had stumbled across them. We wanted to help them of course, so we gave them a box to sleep in. The lid somehow closed overnight and they suffocated...
I absolutely love cats but 6 year olds do not have the capacity to take care of them. My family did not allow me to have pets growing up so I was unable to take them in and have adult assistance.

So one of my biggest secret is that I have a lot of people that care about me but sometimes I ignore them and search love in others, and sometimes I doubt if my parents really care about me, I just think " they just care of me when they need me, then they will just throw me up".
Maybe because my mother only talks to me whenever she feels lonley, so I started doubting about tgeir "love" towards me, and then I feel guilty.

i love feet but cant find anyone interested

I'm unreliable, yet I want people to trust me with something smh.

Once, when I was a kid I called one of my classmates fat and, because I didn't want to be punished, I told to the teachers that it was her best friend who had said that, they believed in me and told her to say that she was sorry to her friend. That girl realized that it was me and was really angry about it but at the time, I only didn't want to get punished. Some weeks later, I felt really bad about what I had done, the two had already forgotten it but I regretted a lot. Now, years have past, and the girl that I called fat and me are really good friends, she even told me a secret about her, how her life was messed up when she was a kid, and how, now she needed to take antidepressants, I just feel much more embarassed about it...

I've done horrible things to get approval from others. My dad was always an angry person, and I am not too different. Somewhere between 10 and 12 I met a friend who kept a similar anger in his heart, but he found an outlet for it in animals. He would shoot squirrels, birds, and other woodland creatures with pellet guns, or even using his bare hands to hurt an innocent animal if it wandered onto his property. He was almost like an untrained dog; literally yelling at the site of a raccoon in his yard and running outside to chase it away, but hoping to get his hands on it before it made it up a tree. He'd return to the house swearing and damning it to hell at if it wronged him in some way. I didn't feel much when I watched him do these things. Not until I decided to try it. The full story is far too graphic but I had taken the life of a squirrel. It was rather an extreme experience for me, but my friend celebrated it, so I got what I wanted from it. I knew he would approve of me then.
Not much happened after than. zBut that idea was still in the back of my mind. In my early teens there was a short period where I would throw rocks at another friends dog, an idea which came from watching my dad try to train his own dogs. His abuse to these animals, and his abuse to me, my brother, and mother was delivered as punishment, as discipline, as a means to control, and he got his way. As it happened, In the moments I was abusing this dog, it became clear how wrong it was, and it stopped, because I finally realized it was abuse.
It was certainly afraid of me for a while. And that felt good. Finally I didn't feel so weak, but I couldn't do that anymore. I just went on the rest of my life feeling weak, because I came to understand that is why someone does such a thing. I came to understand how weak my father was, how weak my friend was, but I only wished I had seen it before it took my strength away too.
In my late teens I took a job at an animal shelter in attempt to absolve my guilt. I worked very hard and did my best. There was a moment though when one of the dogs shit in the walkway and we were walking 50-60 dogs or so with just that entrance. So one of the dogs I was walking was new and barely trained, tried to run through it which I slipped and almost fell. my arm pulled up further than I wanted it to and anger consumed me. I ended up choking the dog on its leash for a few seconds longer then I should have after I realized the dog was being choked. And immediately realized then; holy crap I'm still the same angry abusive person. I got the dog in its cage and we locked eyes. We both knew what I did. I offered my hand to his face and he actually bit me once without breaking skin and turned away. and I went back to work.
A week later there was a chaotic event involving the transportation of 100+ dogs to our facility. I was offered to go on the trip to get these dogs but turned it down so I wouldnt have to change plans I had made with my current SO. Some of the dogs has passed away before arriving. I blame only myself. My selfishness. That day I quit the job.
In my early 20's, I began working at a pest control place, which eventually lead to me getting paid to trap and kill animals again, this time I was licensed and required to perform such tasks by law if the traps succeeded in their function. This job was offered to me through a friend of my dads shortly after I had lost a different job. I could have said no, but it was easier to say yes, and I still thought it might get my dads approval if I took the job he wanted me to take. I worked there for 2 years...
These 5 occurrences produced enough guilt within me to stop eating meat entirely. Well, it produced enough guilt to take my own life but I couldn't do that, so I settled for veganism and trying to adopt a spiritual, humanitarian lifestyle. I never had to hurt these animals to survive. I did it for approval which I never got, for control that was never mine to take, I did it to earn money and pay for my self-indulgent life. And today, because of that guilt, I work towards less. How little can I take from the world and how much can i give, because now I see everything as a piece of life, and everything deserves its peace; Mosquitos and roaches are led back outside, there's several stray cats in my neighborhood that don't go hungry. I donate what I can to wildlife preservations and homeless relief, education, etc for fellow humans and to animal shelters. I often ponder what I can do to provide more, but I am still often failing. Nevertheless I've done more for the world, I think, then I ever would have if I hadn't been so weak and terrible in my youth. In a weird way, I can accept it, but I will never forget this guilt, and I'm ok with that. Whatever keeps me from acting like that person ever again.

Sometimes I feel like I'll be alone forever. That there's something inherently wrong with me. As if I'm unable to love others outside of my family. I've destroyed most of the social relationships I had. I used to be decently popular but I ended up pushing everyone away because everything just felt wrong in my life. And now things are still wrong and broken and I feel like I've only dug an even deeper hole for myself. It's ironic sometimes when you try to get your life together you only make things worse.

I just.. hate people who aren't feeling perfectly well like I do.
Weird to say, but everytime someone is feeling bad, friends or someone in my family, I feel totally disgusted and I'm like "uuh ok", like I can't stand when they're not feeling fine.

I don't care about nothing and nobody, literally nobody. It's not that I don't feel nothing, but I just don't care, I have a girlfriend but if we'll break up I know that it'll be nothing for me, I won't care at all.

I am really underweight for my age. I weigh atleast 75-76 pounds and im 15 years old while my height is 5'1 1/2. I dont know how people can just eat, not work out, and gain like 20 pounds. I dont workout but I eat alot of junk food and sit down for the majority of the day. Yet dont gain a single pound. My metobolism is so fast that Im lowkey starting to hate it. People say Im lucky for having a fast metobilism but sometimes I get teased for being skinny. I dont get hurt by it because they dont know what i go through so I brush it off but deep inside Its one of my biggest insecurities.

In middle school I had a friend who was suicidal. One day in class we were in a group chat and she was joking about killing herself. At least she played it off as though it were a joke. When class ended I told her to stop or I would kill her myself. I didn't mean that. What I had wanted to say was, "I'm here for you."
I'm a piece of shit.

When I was in 4th grade, it was my first time attending a Catholic School. I lied about already having my first communion cause I don't want to feel left out, until now I'm still acting like I already have it even though I haven't since I was born. I'm committing a really big sin to God, but I'm a coward. My whole year in 4th grade I always got scared of anyone finding out that I lied, and that's the time that I developed anxiety.

I lied to my friends that I have this other group of friends that doesn't exist. I would make up adventures about me and them and my friends would compliment me about how fun we are. I made accounts for my "group of friends" and made up our own funny conversations. I'm fucking lonely.

All the people I know are boring, so. fucking. boring.
I'm bored by them all.

I once almost ruined a ton of people their lives by only at the very last second deciding it was not a good idea to kiss a friend after a long walk in the midnight darkness. Because we are both in a longterm relationship. Had it not been for the cold, I would probably have lost both my best friend and my significant other, and also lots of other friends related to the both of them. All over an incredibly stupid misreading of a mood and my dumb egoistic destructive instinctive urges.

I tripped my classmate and made her head hit on the corner of the table. She was sent to the hospital and now has a scar on her forehead. Nobody knew that it was me who tripped her. They thought that she just tripped on her own foot.

I'm alone, no matter who's with me

No matter how much I put on a fake face for those around me, I feel nothing for anyone. I distance myself and long since realized my trust issues are because I don't let anyone in, fear being alone the most and try to hide it. I have done terrible things to people. emotional, physical and even mental damage that can't be taken back always haunts me. When i was young my friend and i were kidnapped and she was "touched"... she killed herself in front of me. Another one of my friends body was found in the woods we would hang out in. finally my abusive ex girlfriend had both used a taser on me and stabbed my thigh. I used to try to kill myself but stopped after I tried to hang myself. No I don't want advise or looking for help, I'll probably not even listen. I have a fiancé that I've been with for a year an ok job, so every one thinks I'm fine.

I dated a guy who I still love and always will. We'd been together for 4 years and it was always a secret. No one knew about us because of our age difference. It never bothered either of us and we never saw anything wrong with it, we just knew that people wouldn't be accepting of us. Fast-forward to the end of our relationship. He was falling back in love with a girl he had a crush on in high school. I committed the biggest act of selflessness in this relationship by telling him to take a shot with her. I knew about her the whole time they were talking, so it wasn't a shock to me at all. I told him to take a shot with her, and he did. I told him that I'd still be by his side no matter what happens and that I'd always be there and ready to take him back. Now, I can barely get him to text me back. We're still best friends, but he doesn't talk to me and it kills me. It's like there's always someone more important than me, and there always has been.

i have not made a wish since i was first watched high school of the dead and saw the grope scene and thought
"Man i wish i had big ol honalongalos that were larger than someones hand"
.
.
.
i regret it.
these are heavy

I take pure pleasure in looking into people's personal lives and messing with them, I don't know if it's just me but the fact that I am dictating their lives makes me feel powerful and sometimes I create a scenario where I would predict their reaction and fills me with joy when my prediction is right, however when I get their reaction wrong, I get excited and watch what unexpected events happen next. I don't know if it is just me but that is what I do when I get really bored, and I get bored frequently hehehe.

I have always wanted to tell my stepmom that i never have and never will view her as my mom or as a parent, but I keep chickening out

While my boyfriend and I were living at my parents house temporarily, we had sex several times even though we weren’t allowed. We also had sex in my sibling’s bed. I made sure to wash all their sheets and even swapped the mattress because I felt so guilty. I lied to them saying I never did it.

I'm 16 and I wanna get pregnant,by a boy my age so bad , This sucks cuz legit every potential partner I meet is strictly anti having kids n getting married I don't blame them they're teenage white liberal lefties

I ruined a relationship once
By convincing a friend of mine the other person wasn’t that great...
That and by making this friend of mine desiring me sexually

I only have 7 months to live and the one who will kill me will be the one I love the most.

I desire human touch in a romantic sense so much, I fantasize about it everyday where i end up disappointing myself because I know I won't be getting that for a long long while.

My friends tell me that I can hit them up if Im ever feeling down but I never go to them because i feel like such a nuisance to their life and I have nothing to add. I feel like my problems are so minimal that I should know what to do in these situations but I'm a stubborn bitch and I cant control my life anymore. I know this is supposed to be anonymous but its not fun if no one knows who I am.

I have been abused since as long as I can remember and probably before that (since long-term memory storing starts around age 8 or 9 or something like that), and now I have a lot of really bad mental problems. I have depression, anxiety, bipolar, ADHD (not related to the abuse, just genetic, but my ADHD needs not being cared about and always being shamed definitely contributed to the depression), a lot of really bad PTSD, some weird eating disorder that's somewhere between binge-eating and anorexia, I hallucinate, and I have really bad violence issues. Every day I have the desire to kill people. I'm no sociopath of course, that's my father's trait, not mine, and I absolutely despise people that hurt animals but for some reason I just want to torture and kill people. I also have hypersexuality (probably tied to the bipolar) and am a sadomasochist with a really heavy blood kink and a lot of other weird kinks and fetishes and sometimes I feel like I'm a really bad person for finding pain of myself and others pleasurable. I asked my psychiatrist for meds for the violent urges I experience every day because they're getting worse and worse every day but to be honest a large part of me doesn't want to change or stop feeling these things because so much of my identity as a human being centers around them. I also have fallen in love with someone who works for the mafia (not saying which one so no one can find them) and have found myself exclusively being attracted to people who have killed before or people with the potential to do so. It's like I can sense people like that and I am never wrong. People who have killed I have more attraction to usually while my attraction to people with the potential tends to be lesser. I want to kill myself very badly but I stay alive for the person I fell in love with and also to one day get revenge on my abusers and land them either in jail or in hell where they belong. Because of them, I flinch every time someone tries to high five me. Because of them, I don't even know which of my personalities is real. Because of them I am a spiteful, hateful, depressed, highly paranoid, and violent person. I have nightmares about them murdering the things I love because they threatened to kill me and the things I love so much. I hoard food and comfort objects because they steal everything I have and I feel sick every time I eat food that they touched so I have to beg, steal, and manipulate to get food and store it. I am an absolute mess who finds pleasure in my own and others pain because all I ever experienced in life is pain. I want to do such disgustingly graphic things to my abusers. I want to make them pay for taking away my one and only childhood, for destroying my brain that everyone said was that of a child prodigy, for leaving mental scars that will never go away. I want to make them feel the hell I went through, how trapped and useless I felt, how I turned to drugs and sex to escape, how I tore at my own flesh to suppress my violence that I so badly needed to direct at them, so badly needed to tear them limb from limb that I have scars all over. I want to hurt them until they can't hurt any more, I want to paint them in their own disgusting, inferior blood. My love told me they once new a guy who knew so much about the human psyche that he could make his victims die of emotional distress, could literally kill them using their own brain. I want to do that to my abusers. I want to inflict such anguish upon them that they regret everything they did to me and beg for my mercy. And they won't get a single pinch of mercy or remorse because they never felt it for me as they pulled me by the hair, tossed me around, bit me, scratched me, gaslighted me, hurt the people i loved, shamed me for being who i was and for every little mistake. They deserve the hell that is coming for them. The thing at the top of my bucket list right after making a life with my love is destroying my abusers. I want my love to gently walk me through killing and perhaps torture, although I might need their friends for that. I stalked their social media and admitted it to them and they let me know they thought it was cute of me. They are just as fucked up as me and I don't think I will ever meet another person that understands me so deeply. If I had not met my love on that one fateful night, already after several suicide attempts, I might've died. They pulled me back from the brink and when they were in the same mental state, I was the one they depended on to make them hold on to life. I love their voice and their eyes and their hair and their personality and their intelligence and the way they talk and the way they act and the way they f u c k ahh. I love every single thing about them but I'm afraid my abusers will drive me to creating some death before I can meet my love. So yeah, my secret is that my life is an absolute fuck-up.

I hate it when I'm praised for being mature and nice. That does not exist in me, I'm just zipping my mouth and agreeing so there wouldn't be any unnecessary bullsh*t happening to me.

I was abused when i was 8yo or so, i feel so ashamed. worst thing of my life

My older brother is one of my bestest friends but when I was about 8-9 years old he started harrassing me physically and emotionally trying to make me feel awful that I had the best grades and he didnt. I don't really want to remind him of this (he has extremely bad memory) because he is autistic and has bpd and depression, so he overreacts a lot. This was why when I was about 10 years old I tried to commit suicide but no one on my family knows about this, they're just focused on me being "the perfect child who went to Harvard and Stanford"

-I don't really understand myself. Like sometimes, I get worked up with things then I suddenly become lazy. They say I'm smart but I really think I'm dumb. My thought process is very slow when I want to use it the most and it usually is wrong that I don't even understand how I got four consecutive first place in a science school.

- I have noticed that I always contradict myself. It's like there was never a fixed thought or decision on something. That makes it very hard for me to make decisions and feel embarrassed or frustrated about trying to communicate. Everything my mouth can say is gibberish because it can't keep up with the train of thoughts in my mind.

- I just contradicted everything I said earlier. I'm so confused. jgjagjaehjelhelth

- I don't really know who my friends are at my school. I feel ashamed to say that like 95% of the people I met there, I consider them acquaintance and not as friends. Like how do know you are friends? Like how does that word easily slip out of your mouths without putting so many thoughts about it? How are they able to say they are friends after they've known basic information about each other? And most of all, how the heck can you approach and reach out to other the person with ease?

I called the police on my mother's boyfriend.

He's a normal guy usually, more like a roommate than boyfriend. But it's whatever. Though when he gets drunk or upset he breaks things. He screams, throws objects, we have numerous holes in the wall. He threatened to kill my mother once if she left him. Just recently he started going apeshit. Blood was all over the walls from busting his hand. He smashed the tv, completely broke down the front door... I was terrified. All of my mother's ex boyfriends act like this. Including her current one. He also is kinda creepy... He's touched my boobs before (on purpose) multiple times. he's also held me down and just stared between my legs in leggings. Once I didn't know he was home and went into the kitchen in nothing but a shirt. When he came out, I asked him to leave covering myself with a trash bag behind the counter. He just stood there watching me no matter how many times I told him to turn around and leave. He kept trying to make an excuse to look at me and talk. I can't bring myself to tell my mother how nasty he is. Condoned rape, threatened to tie me up while i'm naked and take my door down... He's actually really gross... So one night, while he was breaking things, I got really scared. More scared than usual. Most of the times I don't do much and just stay in my room. But this one was different. Eventually after getting trapped in the bathroom while he swung a metal bat around, I called the police. I asked them not to reveal my name because last time I got in trouble. With one of her ex boyfriends. They came over and took him away. The police stayed for about 45 minutes before leaving. He was put in jail for a year because of breaking probation. Her boyfriend was charged with public drunkenness and destruction of private property. My mother bailed him out, only worsening our money situation, and now he has those fines. It's my fault we're deeper in the hole with money and nothing has changed. I just screwed up his life a little more. He probably will have a harder time seeing his daughter now. But... I really want him gone...

If my father calls me on his deathbed... I wont be answering

My mother, I'm not going to call her bipolar, but she's been hurt trying to survive and she has these outbursts of anger. They might last weeks. No one would recognise her if they saw what she was like angry. I don't even see the person she is when she's angry as the same one when she's normal. Wanna move out to escape but she'll be the end of my dad. I can't leave him with her.

If growing up means letting your friends go, I guess now I'm an adult. An adult has a small circle of friends or maybe none are really trusted. Well, if its anything I rather let them go than pretending to be among them.

I hate my family so much. I can't even talk to my parents about anything without them saying I'm disrespectful and rude. Now I got myself into more shit with my older brother about not talking to him. I'm tired of talking to them Jesus Christ. I'm leaving them when I'm older.

I hate the person that i used to be, ivew hurt people and joneslty i dont ever beleive i can forgive that version of myself no matter how much time passes.

Everyday I wake up thinking I'm a bad person, sometimes I really feel like a monster. I've hurted many people even when I just wanted to help them, and I feel like I can't fix anything if the only thing I see in front of the mirror is a piece of shit. My father hates me, he's everyday shouting to me and telling me how sick I am; my mother doesn't even knows who I am, she's always focused on her own stuff and her boyfriend. I have some friends, but I can't talk about how I feel with them, they don't care about me enough to try to listen to me; I once told one of my friends how I was feeling and she said me to fuck off. Currently I've been trying to think in a more positive way, but idk, maybe it's simply not for me. At least I only have to stay here for two more years and then I'll go far, far away and start all over. I just cannot wait for it, I wish time passed faster.

My mother divorced my dad who abused me physically and sexually.
Then, her new boyfriend abused me sexually when I was 12 and so on till 17.

He still lives with us, he still tries to spank me while passing, or touch me in other ways. I don't let him, of course.
My mother knows and she's just ignoring it. She's sweet and really works hard for this family... I really thought she would do something...

I just feel rage and nausea being near him. I know if I work hard enough someday I can just get away and finally feel safe. I wish to feel safe

My life feels so boring compared to these. I suppose that mundanity isn't bad though. I guess one of my biggest secrets is that I confessed to a girl my brother liked once upon a time. It was rough but he never found out.

I like watching myself bleed. I used to get a lot of nosebleeds, sometimes in public and sometimes at home. When I'm by myself I just watch it in the mirror until it stops.
My friends think I started cutting cos I was sad, but I was playing around with it even before then. If I weren't a coward I'd probably have cut sooner.

There is just as much hate in my heart as there is love.

I suffer from violent thoughts, I may actually be a sociopath. my dad always proudly claims he is one and always stays fit in case i come to kill him one day. hes apparently so manipulative and controlling because he might actually be afraid of me, even though im also afraid of him lol

Also i was raped several times by different people on different occasions as a kid, now no one wants me as an adult and that hurts my pride a little lol

whenever i feel threatened by someone i try to befriend them out of a defense mechanism, made really close friends that way but sometimes question if the friendship is solid since it didn't have a genuine start. but am at peace with it now, talked abt it to one of said friends~

i have an addiction to self harm watching blood pool out of my pale wrists is arousing

I hate my teacher and he is a total asshat.

I love watching people's reaction. No, I'm not impersonating Izaya or any anime character. I have found a great love with this when I was little. I used to do this with my friends a lot when I was about six or seven. Everytime I saw someone cry, I would not feel a sense of power, but a sense of comfort in a way. After a while of seeing how this is wrong, I stopped. However, growing up, I did not realize I continued to do it subconsciously. As more time went by, I grew up to become a very quiet person. The person I am now. I enjoy not talking to people and I enjoy seeing every person's daily life. I do not stalk people. All I do is watch. I do not consider myself God, I consider myself to be someone He made a huge mistake on. My past was and continues to be traumatizing and I am okay with it. Someone has also declared their love for me, even after knowing my true feelings and this specific fact about me. Why they continue to love me? No idea. This was fun and I might just do it again. This might not make any sense to anyone, but that's okay.~

I used to look up to my father when I was young. Now, I'm just horribly disgusted at that failure of a father. I had all respect for him until I heard him say that children are some sort of a retirement plan when I was 7. He's also a toxic believer that forces his religious beliefs on everyone, and blatantly, out loud says that everyone who is not part of the religious sector he belongs to will not be "saved". He has the audacity to call out other people, including my mom's friends and other relatives, and preach like there's no tomorrow but doesn't even do at least 10% of what he's preaching. His view on women is "to serve men". He's utterly disgusting. I swear, my mom's the only thinking parent I have. I've never said this to my sisters, but I do know we're all thinking the same thing. We're all walking on eggshells just to not hurt that jerk's ego because he gets physically violent. Man, I just can't wait for him to leave this realm.

I started bullying a girl in my class after arguing with her. Yes it's nasty but I didn't know it was going to degenerate like that. I hope she's better, I don't think she did anything wrong.

I chronically ghost people even when I don't want to. It just escalates. I thought I'd grow out of it once I reach high school or college, but I'm a sophomore and I've been inactive in the class group chat for a month despite classes happening purely online. My grades are flunking because of this. I missed a course final because of stomach flu and I still have not e-mailed the professor three days later.

It started because a classmate checked up on my submission on a non-graded assignment for self-study. I was a day late for the group by then (with nothing to show) so I fearfully closed my phone and didn't open it for the rest of the day. And then a week. Then a month. Then I'm here right now, because looking at the course name gives me fight or flight due to the missed final test and major project.

I think I'm ruining my life and social relations both. Maybe I'll be kicked out of school. I don't know. And I still don't try to. I'm tired of myself.

It honestly just feels like everydays a repeat. I'm not depressed or anything, actually I'm quite happy. But ever since a huge fight broke out between my friends I've been feeling off. We used to have this group chat with 10 of us including myself, and everytime I went on there it'd be a new interesting and fun conversation. But since they've fought everything's been boring. It's like the colour in my life has been sucked out and to be honest it feels dreadful. And the group chat is just things about school work and our jobs with about 5 people now. Both sides of the fight are still quite good friends with me, but they hate each other. And it may not have been long compared to other friendships but those past 3 years were some of the best in my life.

I can't help but feel guilty. After all I think I was the thing that managed to destroy it completely. I had invited one of them back to the gc. They saw all the terrible messages the other side had said about them. And that's when they completely cut each other off. So yeah I guess I kinda am at fault huh

I have been having this reacurring dream of someone from my past. I feel ashamed and sad whenever I see him.

How many secrets a day an I tell. 100? 1000? 10000? TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I pushed my s/o for a breakup just because I was stressed cuz of work and I realized I was subconsciously taking out my frustrations on him. My heart feels too cold to communicate sentimental things anymore. I'm really sorry for pushing him away. But I guess I'm still in love with him even though I can't tell him that anymore. I wish things didn't turn toxic.

my friend post a thread here in Morse code I hope everyone finds it. I missed him even tho I never said it.

i be farting loud af on metal chairs.

>>164
this is golden

22M, I've pushed away, ghosted, and blocked nearly everyone I once considered a friend both irl and online.

I don't know if it was the right choice or meant to happen from the start regardless seeing as most of these people were malicious in intent.

I still think back on them at night, whether it was a decade ago or a month ago, as mild as ignoring me or as severe as 5 year manipulation. But honestly if it was bad memories at first, now it's neutral thoughts

I don't feel like seeking out new individuals anymore, at least for now, I'll let them find me instead

I have a feeling that I'll be happier now in solitude, so long as media stops pushing the fucking narrative of "friends will always be there for you!" no, they will not. People are selfish assholes, social creatures my ass.

Maybe I'm just anti social or haven't been lucky enough to meet those 'amazing friends' everyone seems to have, maybe my personality is too different and can't fit within typical cliques

Maybe.. Solitude is ok after all. At least until I can heal.

Hello,

I’m really annoyed with my coworker. We were like brothers….I guess. The place that work at is really toxic at times. It’s a brotherhood….the fire service….but at times really I find it to be a ‘botherhood’

Being on a fire crew is the most annoying shit ever at times. There’s just never enough personal space. My fucking Captain, who I fought for, threatened to fire me just because I wanted to eat lunch by myself. Before that my former Superintendent fired me for the same thing. My bosses and crew buddies are just clingy as fuck.


Here’s my secret. I’m alone. I’m afraid to be alone, but I also like it. I’m stuck somewhere. I don’t know how to break free or properly explain what is wrong. I just felt this great pain when he asked “ do I want to be here” my Captain that is. He lost faith in me…..I could tell.

I’m always worried about how people see me. Not in a physical way, but how people see my actions. I’m worried that I am the way I am because of s*xual A when I was younger, but most worryingly, I’m always thinking about the worst end and killing things.

I got debarred! It's very horrible. Thank god the compartmentalization is working, else I would've broken down. Maybe it'll come for me in the future— I haven't really gathered my thoughts on this yet. Now, I can say I've experienced the highs and lows of academic life (from a valedictorian to getting kicked out, LMAO) and it really sucks. I feel awful.

I have an addiction.
I started masturbating without knowing what I was doing and now eight years later all that shit has gotten worse, I have to hide from people of the other sex and I'm afraid to have sex because of shame. The truth is I think it's not an addiction but a self-defense mechanism in front of others simply because of my anxiety and depression, which have been a problem almost all my life.

I absolutely hate how the chatrooms have been taken over by cliques. It kinda defeats the whole point of these anonymous chatrooms, no?
These people seem to have zero self-awareness or just plainly do not care for anyone else.
It takes strength and courage to try to join a room when you know nobody there, and I guess these cliques forget - since they never step outside of their friend group.
I wish I could stand up to them.
At least I can spill my guts in here.

It's high school all over again. Mean Girls, anyone?
The worst is when they FINALLY run out of things to talk about or whatever, they'll acknowledge you for a few moments but only because they want to use you to revive THEIR conversations... then they'll ignore you once again, rinse and repeat.

It's manipulative, whether intentional or not.
Sigh.

Hello everyone it is nice to see old faces even though I don't know y'all. what I'm trying to say is. Even though time fly's and people get more mature and older we can still make the most of it even In desperate times we must keep a smile on our faces and keep our heads up high because one day In a flash everyone and everything will disappear but no worries friends for one day you shall look up to the sky's and sing a beautiful remedy of your soul and you shall understand the true path of happiness well that's all good day folks

>>173 i mean this is close enough if you check regularly you can find people

OBLIGATORY SECRET:
I'm just thinking of leaving everything, instead of suicide i'm gonna try and just abandon everything, if i do i'll keep my tales posted in countries or wherever is appropriate

bump.

My parents died when I was young and I have lived alone for over a decade now. I was lonely when I first started living alone but I thought I had gotten over it. Recently it has come back and it feels crippling at times.

I raped a straight guy in the ass, without lube. I talked him into it, and the best thing is he admitted it was the best sex ever. I'm really proud, not gonna lie.

WHAT THE...

>>177

what do you mean?

Hey, I hope your journey in life has gotten way better these days.

I think my guy friend is super attractive. He makes me nervous. I think he is an absolute stud.

I think most people in this thread are 16 yos trying to be edgy

I'm not 16.

When there are just some people who trigger you that have delusions of killing them in some sort of way.

I have one of those "If we're both still single at 30..." pacts with a friend and as I approach 26, I'm starting to think it may be my best option.
I've known her since I was 14 and we both have helped each other through the lowest points in our lives. Even when we start drifting apart, we always find our way back to each other.
After my last long term relationship, I find it hard to build up trust with people now. But I already have tons of trust built up with her. And she's the type of person who completely owns up to her mistakes and actively tries to be better, so I can't even imagine her breaking that trust.
We've tried dating before, but our lives were too chaotic at the time and we both agreed that it wasn't best for us at the time. But recently, we've both made huge strides towards getting our lives together. I think having this time separately to figure things out has only enhanced our compatibility. It kinda feels like by time we're 30, a relationship is actually doable and healthy for us.

Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic..