2016. The year I'm obligated to be a serving member of American society. But life, like it always does,throws bs my way that I have to deal with. I finally after years of dealing with my father who has made me hate myself and everything I do, I finally moved out. Now staying with a friend of mine and trying to handle a job I fucking hate and a relationship I want to keep all while everyone around me wants it to fail. I dived into nihilistic side of myself that I first enjoyed,it made me view life a lot simpler, but now I'm starting to hate it. Being depressed is not something I should cherish. I want to get my life on some sort of track. Like I have goals and aspirations, things I want to do like music. But I have to worry about things like money and other people and overall at the end of the day being motivated to try. It really fucking sucks I just my life to work out. I just want to live comfortably

Balancing all these factors in your life can be so hard and i get that, but you need to take a leap of faith. Do something risky if you know that its something you really want to do. Change doesn't just happen whenever... it happens when you want it too. Pursue your dreams, stay motivated, work hard. And if anyone judges you its because they have problems of their own, don't live the sad life they do. BE YOU <3

As Taegumi said, you have to take a leap of faith if it comes to something you really want to do/ been wanting to do for a long time. Don't worry about what other people think about you because in the end what they say/think is only going to bring you down even more, and if you do listen to them, your probably going to think back years later how you could've done things differently? I don't know if this was the answer you were looking for but i hope this helps at least a bit. Keep moving forward, things will get better. :)

Hey, just take one day at a time, okay? I understand that there's so much weighing down on your mind, and it's bogging you down so that you're feeling almost helpless and scared, but it's okay to not be okay sometimes.
I might not be the best person to offer advice to you but just take it steady. You might hate your job, but just look at it as a means for getting money to help you pursue what you really want to do. Take it step by step, and honestly, don't bother too much about what other people say. They don't know what you're going through, their opinions don't matter. Only you and your partner can make your relationship work if you really wish to, and only you know exactly what you want to do and fulfill in life so just take your time pulling yourself together, and move step by step. It will all definitely work out :) I'll be cheering for you!

Thanks guys, it really means a lot to know you guys care.

One thing I would really recommend as well is greatly analyzing yourself. Life seems to have more direction for me once I began trying to understand who I am and what I desire. After finding a bit of myself, I was able to find ways - even small things - to slowly improve my life. I am quite happy; I am not wealthy at all, I am not super popular or powerful, but I know myself and I am doing my thing that brings me and others joy, I can't be living wrong :)

Ha people want you to suffer sometimes even more its scary how cruel some can be anyways Do rly the thing you rly want yea easy said even for me i mean music or Art getting money with it is fcking Hard because its not save and we like to Do save things going to school for University for example or Do Jobs that are easy But boring i myself learned a Job But it sucked now im in school again and look how it goes, maybe get help from psychologician or whatever its called in english Anyways best of luck to you life is Hard some people too but it can get better i promise, wanna Chat some? Dont mind and Text me at: faker.1875@gmail.com
Well have a nice Day after all

"But I have to worry about things like money and other people and overall at the end of the day being motivated to try."

These 3 things, are the 3 things that everyone has to worry about. Quite literally.

And I disagree with >>2 and >>3. There's a reason it's called a leap of faith, it's because it's dangerous and very unlikely to succeed. Just take it slow, start changing little things.

Also, just goddamned live with it. Everyone does.