Soooo I've been dating a guy (lets call him James), James and he's a really nice sweet guy and we've been dating for 3 months now I believe but I'm not sure if I really like him anymore so I plan on breaking up with him but I know it will really hurt him and he'll be depressed. I know because thing is I've felt this way before and I broke up with him previously like around a month ago, but then immediately regret it and felt super depressed about it and so pretty much at the end of that week we got back together. When we got back together I was happy and I tried to convince myself that I wasn't gonna feel that way again but then the thoughts keep creeping back in and now I don't feel the same way he does for me and I want out... It's so hard to break up with him though because he calls me beautiful every time I see him and says he's so lucky to be dating girl like me and every now and then he asks me to stay with him forever, which always makes me uncomfortable but I always smile and nod or just say yup! cuz I don't want him to get hurt... I know ill miss him if I break up with him and that it'll hurt but... well I guess what I want to say is that, how should I break up with him and lead up to it, also how to get over him. I really need this advice.
Thanks for reading and sorry I made this pretty long.

It's going to take me a bit to come up with some kind of advice for your problem. Give me a bit of time to process it and I'll make sure to get back to you.

Well, you've got to figure some things out first. What makes you think you don't like him? Is it because you felt really into him at first and now you don't feel the same way?

Some people are attracted different. I, for one, do not think of my partner all the time. I don't really think about them nearly as much as they think about me. But, when I'm with them, I'm free. It's amazing.

Part of me thinks that one of the reasons you don't like hanging out with him as much anymore is because you are nervous thinking about how you are going to break up with him! But I don't really know the situation. If I were in your situation as I understand it (and I probably don't), I would explain how I feel to him and see what happens in 3 more months. Spend 3 months figuring out how you both feel, while both of you know what's going on. Just allow yourself to experience him and spend time unhindered by all these thoughts of guilt over hurting him. And that would also make it so he doesn't get the wrong idea.

I guess that's my advice. Talk to him and maybe go into a trial thing. It could be the reason you feel bad is you really like him, and you are just nervous about 'committing' or something else to do with a relationship. Or it could be that the spark really isn't there, and you feel bad because you are a generally empathetic, guilty person (like me!). I don't know. But no one does! Remember that no one really knows the 'best' way to act all the time. A lot of life is just figuring it out. And it's hard!

Good luck!

>>3
Wow yeah you right... I guess for me I just feel like I'm falling out of love and I don't want to lie to him saying stuff like I love you more, I just wanna go back to when we were friends.
I don't think I'm gonna stay with him for three more months... that's to long I feel but I think ill let him in on how I feel.
I'm still planning on breaking up with him though.
I don't really feel much connection anymore from my end.
But thank you for the advice! I really wanted others opinions on this because I feel like it kind of a hard subject to talk with your friends about... but it was very helpful. So thanks again.

Okay, after looking over this a bunch, I think I finally have some advice to give. A long time ago I had a girlfriend who I like a lot but realized she just wasn't for me, I was really scared of telling her how I felt because I could tell she cared about me a lot and was always joyful and happy. I felt like if I had broken up with her that it would break her heart.

My advice is that since you already broke up with him once, you should think why you might not like him anymore, then ask yourself what you do like about them. If the dislikes overpower the likes then that's where you decide if you still like him. If your already past that and want to simply know how to break up with someone, I'd say make it a "I like you a lot, but right now I'm not feeling comfortable in a relationship, can we still be friends?".

Now my wording on that isn't the best (and feel free to change that as much as you please if you decide to go that route) but if you want to get out of the relationship and still be friends then I'd say that's the way to go. As a last bit of advice, I wouldn't do this in the hallway or somewhere where your not completely focused on each other. Do it somewhere private.

I wish you the best of luck on this, stay strong and I wish you the best of luck. I hope this was helpful.

I said "wish the best of luck twice...whoops xD

In my mind, a relationship is pointless if you aren't in love or plan on marrying the person. It is better not to lead him on or drag something on that you know won't go anywhere. And, like you did before, if you fall in love fro real when you are broken up, you can always get back together. But make sure you actually love them, not just miss them.

Just copy and paste everything here and send it to him through text and tell him to read it all. It'll hopefully convey what you are feeling and trying to get across to him. This isn't the end of your world sweetie. stay strong.

Thanks guys this really help c:

=)

I think, after all this great advice, you should hear about the other end: how he would feel after this.

I once had a girlfriend that I loved a lot, but someday, after a month or so, she just keeps getting colder and colder and I try to confront her and ask her why. Her answer was that I should just forget about her and walk away. And this was all through text messages... Not the best way at all!!

I was devastated, tried everything for us to get back together, but after a year of all this she finally decided to come through and explain what it was that made her break up with: "I didn't like you the way you did. Not at all! I don't deserve that kind of love when I don't feel the same towards you". And only then could I find peace.

So, what you must take from here is that it is better to do it without misunderstandings, tell him everything about how you feel and why you are breaking up with him,and you should keep on "pretending" thet you love him, it will only hurt him more.

Try to talk to him in private (as someone already mentioned here) and tell him everything without being to harsh. I mean, for me at least, if she had told me everything right from the start, it would have hurt as hell anyways, but I would overcome it a lot better than I did.

I am not the best at giving this kind of advice, but I thought you should know.
Good luck and be strong Jin! :)

Error in the post above: I meant "you shouldn't keep on" Sorry about that

You guys are all so nice and supportive thank you c:
I guess I'm really happy I said something and asked for advice here.
I broke up with him sooner that I expected and it all is working out and now were really good friends! In fact we just went to anime north recently this weekend, it was tons of fun.
Anyway thank you guys so much for the advice and support.
Its pretty hard to express the gratitude but yay!
c: