When I was a little kid,  I used to think my life was meant to be perfect, I thought that various helping hands will reach out and help me through out life, instead, it was the complete opposite. There's a saying in my family, when you make a bowl shape with your lips, all the goodness with stay in the bowl, but when you flip that bowl over, those goodness will fall out. Lately, my bowl's been knocked over, my friends made fun of my interests (anime, writing and books), they made fun of who I wanted to be (a teacher), they teased me and said I'll become a prostitute smoking at the side of the streets and has a tanktop that stops around my ribs. Those words keep replaying in my head, I'll admit myself, I became dark and depressed, I wanted to tell the adults but my so called "friends" will call me "Tattle Tail" or "Little child" or even "Helpless worm" I know so because last time I threatened to do it, they chanted those words and started beating me up. Finally, after 3 years of being called those words, I came to the conclusion to self harm but I was afraid that if I even did die, will people even notice? Will they still be making fun of me? Well, also that I was afraid of the blade... 

On the other side, I watched Durarara from a suggestion from my older sibling, I noticed that there was a site for the Dollars, I joined and it's only been few minutes, I feel better already, you won't know but I'm smiling while writing/typing this. You guys post inspirational quotes, there's even people who understand me, missions onto turning the world into a better place, slowly and slowly. I was really happy to know that there's people like that. Hopefully, my bowl will stay up right.

Thank you Dollars.

I'm really happy that I'm alive now.

Here's another wish, I posted this early enough so that at least someone who's going through kinda the same thing sees this and feels better a tiny bit at least. That'll really make my day.

that was the same for me.. lately i've been down and it feels like no one cares. Dollars is my newly found friends, buddies and even a family that i could call my own

>>1 never give up on those dreams and interests, those are perfectly fine and realistic as well. Those "friends" of your's, I used to have people like that around me and it was hell. You need to, well, ditch them. Rid yourself of negative people like that. If you need people to talk to, we're here for you. :3
And thank you, I've been feeling pretty down lately, especially about my future, you made me feel better ^.^

Friends are something you have to chose carefully, because by sharing what you are and opening yourself to them, you'll become vulnerable. If you are scared to be alone, just stay with those "said friends" like you said, but do not open yourself to them so they can't hurt you. But doing that is wrong (in my opinion of course). A friend is (for me) someone that you can trust enough to let him know your weaknesses. People who abuse of this knowledge that you bravely offered to them, can't be called friends.
It's hard, because you can't change of friends easily, but at least search for them. Someone that seem you can trust.
It will be hard but taking this time, trying at least, might grant you happiness you can't even hope to get at the moment.
Anyway ! Never give up ! The world isn't as bad as you think ;)

>>2 that's nice to know that I helped you ^^

Its comfortable knowing that someone went through something like me

You don't know right now but I'm near tears.

Dollars IS where I truly belong ♡

>>5 im an idiot. I meant >>3

xD im sorry

Anyways im still happy that everyone's supporting me, thank you~

>>5 awww! Well I'm glad that I made you feel better :3 yes, the Dollars is quite the nice place, oh who am I kidding! It's the BEST place on the internet. <3

>>1

I went through something very similar to your situation a while ago (I'm assuming you're a teen here by the way). Too be honest I always felt that I was alone when it happened, the whole "There's no one to turn to" all that junk. I always calmed down through by playing online games/exercising to blow off my steam. Doing this boosted my self confidence and I wanted to start doing things again ya'know? Since I was around 13 I've always wanted to learn Danish (Don't ask why I have a weird fetish for Denmark I just love it to death okay?)so I went to a language exchange website and before I knew it i became penpals with this one 14 year old danish girl (I was 14 at the time). This girl really helped me with my troubles and made me realize that life as a teen is basically a big box, everything that happens to you is (for the most part) in your local town or community. Being with this girl made me realize that I can have friends in different countries/cultures. She made me not care what others thought of me because at the end of the day there's websites like this one where I can talk openly about my interests/likes without being made fun of or taunted. Now days (I'm a junior in highschool) due to my high self-esteem I've started working out and eating healthy, now I got friends and none of them give a shit that I like watching anime or doing weird things like comicon or joining in with some friends for the occasional cosplay. My advice to you would be: Although it's pretty shitty right now, realize that it's only temporary. You're probably gonna spend 18 years of your life with your class mates, the average citizen from my country lives to the age of 70 (around there) so that's 18 years out of around 70 that you're gonna be taunted (If even that). Throughout your life you're gonna be in some deep shit but killing yourself is all in all "pretty fucking stupid" as I would put it. Just be yourself and do what you want and if it ends bad well at least you'll die with no regrets.

Good Luck!

>>8

I got it right this time...right?

Yup, I did. Anyway, off to the reply.

I'm really happy you're better now ^^

(And yeah, I'm somewhere in my teens)

I feel so much better now ^__^;;

I guess I really need to realize how amazing life can be when you talk to the right people :D

Something I'm trying to do now ( and I'd say for others to do )is - To not explain to people what you plan/want to do with your life.

Honestly, all people (who know you in rl) will do is criticize or give you weird looks or lecture you about why you should consider other things.

It's awful and frustrating as you try to balance pleasing others around you that you love vs. pleasing your own heart and dreams. It's depressing and can make you feel very self defeated (like how its been recently for me) but you have to like - take a deep breath, muster up as much courage and resolve and just say - OK. I hear you. But I hear my voice inside and its louder.

The things you like and want to do - trust me they aren't so out there that it has to be made fun of. Seriously - I dont know who would make you feel so down for that stuff but that sucks. Honestly we're alot a like. Just my dreams are a lot more... outlandish I guess but really, you just gotta be brave and stand up for your dreams.
No one else will.
And you'll feel mocked, alone, and if you can still push through it and fight for your life and your right to having your dreams - think how sweet it'll be once you overcome all this turmoil.

I'm glad things are okay with you and you found some hope with The Dollars. It really is a good place. It becomes like a home...

its true, the real world will have people criticizing you.
Heres some advice I grew up with, 25% of the people you met will like you and be with you forever, 25% will dislike you forever, 25% will dislike you but then start to like you, 25% will like you then start to dislike you.

When something like that happens again, just remind yourself that theres the other people in the world thats backing you up.

Everyone should know that they're all one of a kind, no one in the world will replace you completely. And if those "friends" cant notice that, they have a problem.

Its nice to know that you're doing well now and that the Dollars have gotten you back up, it truly is a great place, after all, we're all your friends ;)

Dont worry about it!! It'll get better X))))

Don't worry!! You're not alone, if you need to talk about it, don't hesitate on the Dollars website! This is what the website's for! A place for buddies and buddies to talk

That's right! We're all here for you :)

>>15 You say a person cannot feel anything after death so basically they feel "nothing". But a situation where nothing's there cannot be called "nothing". It's not opposite of something either. The nothing you speak of is really nothing but eternal darkness. But this notion is based on "eternal darkness", so how can it be nothing? If you suggested that she gets rid of her sorrows by dying, she needs the "the knowledge that she has escaped from her troubles". Isn't it something? So basically you are giving a suggestion to another person without having a smallest clue what are you talking about. To die means to disappear, but it's not the person's pain that will disappear, just his existence. At this point I'm just questioning myself about what the hell are you even doing on this website. Leave.

>>15
"Thank you Dollars.

I'm really happy that I'm alive now."
I'm sorry you feel that way. Especially after this person that we've helped expressed gratitude to us.
>>1
and to you, it's an honor! obviously there will always be "those kinds of people" on certain websites, but I completely agree with you! Dollars has helped me a lot, and the overall support shown by members is heart warming.

>>18 You're being dumb right now. Suicide won't help, it won't make anything better. If he/she want this shitty life to become a great life then suicide won't make this life great.

To die means to disappear, it's not your pain that will disappear, it's your existence that will. Telling this person to die will make everything worse.
The reason why he/she is posting this is because he/she doesn't want to die. This person is asking for help. If he/she wanted to die, he/she wouldn't post this and he/she would have been probably dead right now.

So instead of writting dumb shit like this, leave. This is not what this person is asking for.