A few years ago I met a girl. To me she was just a girl then named Hannah. We didn't talk and weren't really friends. That changed. We starting texting and then hanging out. She became my friend. As time went by we became closer, calling each other best friends. We went through a lot together. We were there to hear about the troubles of each others life and sometimes we stayed up till dawn to stop the tears.
As all stories go I was foolish enough to start having feelings for her. Nothing huge, just small feelings, like I really like this girl. As I grew to care about her more those feelings became stronger. Over the years I've been foolish enough to act on these feelings and everytime she would shoot me down. We began to laugh at it because no matter what happened I continued to fall for her over and over again. I dd try to stop but it was no use. The greatest feeling I had was waking up in the middle of the night seeing a text from her and replying only to find another text a few hours later.
Eventually it became harder for me. Trying to keep my feelings in check but still being all I can be for her. When I left for college I thought it was going to get better, meeting new girls, but it didn't. So we made plans for her to visit. It was at this time she met my roommate on facebook. The moment they started talking I had this sinking feeling. On her visit we went to San Francisco. Sean, my roommate drove because we couldn't. The trip as ok, but I felt like she was giving me no attention. After that we invited her to the sac v davis football game. It was here that I told her one last time how I felt and once again shot down. And I think it was that day, they began a relationship. I didnt know at first. I knew she was talking to a guy named Sean but I would never had guess it was him.
She changed her relationship status on fb. We talked about it. She refused to tell me who it was and I told her I would always be there for her. After our talk I told him about it and he patted me on the back with a smile on his face. Looking back at it I hate him the most for that moment. Over break I slowly put the pieces together and I knew without a doubt they were together. When we got back I got her to tell me. She made me promise that I wouldn't tell him I knew. She also told me he had been talking to his ex and this had been causing her grief, another thing I grew angry about. For months I slept in the same room as the friend who didnt have the guts to tell me all this. I grew more angry at him because before he even met her I told him about how how I felt about her, and again after they spoke on fb, and again after each of her visits. And everytime he would say he understood. He use to always talk about the bro code and how its like the law. Where was his code when he did all of this. All his secrets and lies. When he finally did tell me he said how bad he felt. All I did was keep quiet. I know they've been together, love each other.
I hate him, have rage towards him because of what he did to me, I still love her and I want to hurt him but I cant without hurting her. Im tearing myself apart with these opposing emotions. I dont let them out because if I do I know I'll lose all control and do something, very, very regretful. Just writing this my bones are shaking. I can feel it all at once, so much to feel and such a small outlet. How can I feel this, pain and joy, love and hate? Is it right for me to feel this, am I in the right am I terrible for thinking like this. I need someone to answer me. Because I can't find the answers in this dark.

sorry for it being so long.

Before I say anything else, I'd jike to itterate that you have virtually every right to hate this Sean bastard. I don't recommend it, but if I were in your place, I think I really would've killed him by now.

My advice would be to make every effort to hook him up with his old ex, or at least use thbt old ship to convince Hannah he's still very much interested in someone else. It doesn't move you forward, but it'll at least buy you a lot more time.

It's already been some months now and they say they love each other. No matter how i feel, I always wanted he to be happy. Him on the other hand should have known better.

I find this a bit strange because my real name is Hannah and something very similar happened to me. My advice would be to, even though it's really hard, to just find someone else. Avoid Sean to indirectly show your anger towards him and if you have to take out your anger I'd put it to good use and exercise (it does help). I'm sorry this happened, dude.

Its hard because i still talk to her everyday and our dorm room is so small i see him ALL THE TIME. Even in the gym.

Tell them. Simply tell them. Everything you just said here.
Tell them this. And tell them how fucking pissed and betrayed you felt/feel, and how you never want to speak to them again.

YES. I MEAN THEM.

Don't leave the bitch out. You should be mad at her too, what the hell is wrong with you??

Think about it: she knew all along how you felt- did she care? - Of course not! Showed that by sneaking around, not telling you who she's with, and fucking your roommate. Where are they?? Right across the hall? Bet if you listened close, you could hear them.
I don't care how you feel about her, She's As Much As A Lying Back-Stabbing Bitch as Sean is a Lying Back-Stabbing Bastard.

Don't just PUT UP with that shit! What are you, her gay best friend??

The moment she didn't tell you it was Sean was the very moment you no longer had to "be there for her", as you put it.

She wasn't there for you.
She didn't trust you with the simplest of information. If it were anyone else, it wouldn't matter. But it was your ROOMMATE.

Jesus man I've been there a little different but same sorta thing. I had a girlfriend, and a friend at the time who was close, they both went to a different school, and he constantly tried to get with her, over and over again, she ran with it too, I dont know what the right thing to do was, but I sent them both a message, and told them if they do not get the fuck out of my life I would kick the shit out of him and tell everyone what they did. They accepted, and left me alone, But that is how I found true friends, you see he only cared about her when we started dating, then when we broke up he lost interest in her. It was like he was trying to piss me off, same thing though, before I knew it was him she was flirting with Id talk to him about it, he'd say like "oh what a cunt and shes a slut" and all this shit "I would never do that" "bros first" blah blah blah. And when they broke up, she came back "ohh it was a mistake" I told her to go fuck herself. I saw them both at a party some time after, he came up and tried to talk to me. then we got in a fight, I won HAHA Mainly because he is all talk, always was. but either way. Honesty all the way, it'll hurt but it'll help. Tell them both to fuck off as much as it may pain you it is neccacary, look at me now, I have a beautiful girlfriend and we've been together for 1 and a half years :) plus great friends.

Its not wrong to cry, its just wrong to weep while life passes by.

yes i agree with >>7 and >>8
you need to tell them how you feel and how they make u feel all this time.even if you you're afraid you'll hurt her feelings, you should mind your own. this is your life too. be brave. and then, start over and put them behind you. All the best in the world.

Just tell them about this, in this situation you should not think about how they feel. Let the feelings out before keeping them inside you starts to change you, or before your feelings burst out in some way that you can't control.

Thanks too everyone that replied to this.