All my friends have really dark pasts... one has a father who used to be a murderer and is dead now but his mum has cancer and depression and she can't take the pills for her cancer either. The other has divorced parents which I know happens quite a lot nowadays but it hits her really bad and I know some the others but well, it would take too long to write all of them down. For some reason I wanted to have a trauma in my life too. I want to know why that is because it was so bad that I became anorexic and still am. I had severe anorexia but the therapists couldn't diagnose me cos I wasn't thin enough. I don't know why I want a trauma, well I do kinda. It's kinda like I want them to understand me better because I feel so empathetic (I hope that's how you spell it) that I literally feel in their shoes - like I can feel every emotion they can.(this sounds kinda cheesy but it's the only way I could think of putting it)Does anyone know why that is!?

I apologise for any bad grammar.

I'm just spit-balling here, but as far as I know it's common for people to want trauma/injury to gain attention if they feel they are lacking thereof. Just a thought, no idea if that's how it is for you though

I felt like you but a friend of mine who I often advise told me that I have a sort of empathy and that I shouldbe grateful to have the ability to learn from other people's mistakes and I believe you should too.

>>1
Everyone has a past behind them, that's simply the way people are.
The fact that you're wanting to have those same sort of negative experiences as they had is a bit concerning, but you may just want to fit in, or to better understand your friends.
You want to feel special, in the same way that you find them to be special. Not from a 'look at what I can do' kind of thing but from a more pitiable perspective, perhaps.

Don't worry about it OP, just keep on going and living your life. Be thankful for what you have, and try to help others around you who aren't as fortunate. You shouldn't be trying to harm yourself emotionally just to feel like you can fit in, or use it as a method later.

Just try to move on and be thankful for what you have.

It's probably attention. Maybe. I don't know, but that's what it was for me. All my friends were having these terrible situations thrust upon them, and of course, as a result of that, they were also getting all the attention and support. There's also that unspoken rule that is set into motion when someone's in a rough patch: YOU MUST NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING THAT'S BOTHERING YOU BECAUSE THEY'RE DOING IT TOUGH AND THAT'S JUST TRYING TO UPSTAGE THEIR HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT AND THAT MAKES YOU A BITCH. God do I hate that rule. But anyway, what I'm trying to get at, is that when you are surrounded by people who are suffering more than you, it's a lot harder to talk about your own problems without feeling like a whinger.

You probably to understand them...and please don't wish for a trauma...it's only gonna make them feel worse...

You guys on the whole are probably right because when I was growing up I was basically an outcast so I guess that leads me to do whatever it takes to fit in. Even though I want to fit in I have this feeling that I shouldn't be traumatised because it will upset my friends.

Just keep being yourself, they're friends with you for a reason, right? If they have a dark past, let them know you're there to help if necessary.

Change the way you think.....once you get a trauma u"ll only think about it and not care about your friends