Not to be a total brain dead loser but I need help with a girl. I've been with her for about two years now. In those two years, she moved away. She now lives about an hour and a half away. This distance had never really been an issue because we have been able to see eachother about once a month. Lately, however, we haven't seen eachother much at all. In that time, I have always felt like it wasn't a big deal because I actually love her and I trust her to be faithful. I always saw her as a big part of my life, of my future. Well now she wants to "take a break" do she has time to think things through. Apparently she has feelings for one of her dude friends and thinks its fair that we take a break so she can sort out her feelings and that if we could see eachother more then we can really be together. I feel that taking a break would hurt us and only benefit her. She still says that she loves me more than anyone else but she doesn't want to ignore her feelings for this other guy. What should I do? Should I fight for her or should I let her make her own decisions on what she wants. I feel like I'm being used and she says that she doesn't feel any attachment to me. Can I get some other perspectives on my delema? Please?
Now in my experience, and from what I've seen happen to my friends over time is taking a break usually means she's wanting a reasonable gap to drift from you and towards this new guy. Most girls don't even tend to announce of another guy when these said "lets take a breaks happen" and typically jump into another relationship with that said guy in a week or three. If she really loved you she wouldn't be so hung on this "new guy." I would say don't fight for her because this will only continue to turn into more problems sooner or later. The best idea is take your peace, if she really wants you she'll come to you, if not you enjoy some time off, and meet someone who'll respect your feelings better. And yes I'm sorry to bear bad news, and I can understand that it must be a strong, very painfully confusing attachment right now, but the sooner you choose to accept letting go then the faster you'll heal.
Let her work out her feelings. The second you decide to be a douchebag and deny her that right, she's going to realize, "My boyfriend is an overbearing shithead who won't even give me space," and will be even more inclined to go out with the other guy. If she ends up liking the other guy more, then so what? Why would you want to go out with someone who likes someone else? At that point, you'll just have to move on. But don't be an ass, and don't try to force her to stay with you.
One more thing. Instead of assuming that she's some selfish woman that's trying to get away from you to sleep with her friend-boy, though, you should try to look at it from her perspective. Do you know how guilty she must feel knowing she's dating you while she has feelings for someone else? She's taking a break for both your sakes. So that she doesn't have to become a paranoid, guilty wreck and so you don't have to deal with that paranoid, guilty wreck and so you don't have to go through the grief of her cheating on you, either.
Seriously, though. Respect and trust are the key points in a relationship. If you can't even trust her with this, and if you can't even respect her right to a break, then you don't deserve to still be going out with her. Cut it off now if you can't even do that.
