So I've been working on a series called Knightmare Overdose and I want some feedback.

https://journalister.co/post/show/1022-1-knightmare-overdose

I'm not judging it entirely just yet, but I'm getting the feel for some christian propaganda. (I'm not going to start debates if I can help it)

This wouldn't happen to disrespect the demons of hell or Satan in any kind of way would it? Not that I care that it does. At least not yet. I'd hate to have myself getting emotional and butt hurt over your story. Or is this just entirely fiction?

Should I continue reading?

*If it does*

It actually isn't about religion at all, it's about mythology. So not really, no.

Bump.

Wow, I really like this story! At first, with the simple setting I thought this would be a lot like the mainstream novels you can find anywhere, but I have to admit being completely shocked when the protagonist was suddenly injured. I was even more surprised when his arm was pulled off, because most people try to preserve their protagonists in a sense, like even if they are hurt they usually won't loose limbs or organs or anything really crazy. I think this is really unique, to not be overly-protective of your main character.

That aside, you have a really good idea, a setting with endless opportunity, tension, and an abnormal-in-a-good way main character, but I feel like your flow and word choice needs a little bit of work. Some of your sentences feel choppy, and the wording makes it difficult to really get into the story, at least for me, because I had to stop and reread in order to understand.

For example, take this sentance: "Chains wrapped about his being, ripping him about if he tried to move around so much as to scratch an itch, while I was walking around, viewing this hell that I had found myself in."
Word choice is totally up to you of course, but this is a bit difficult to read, so I believe it would be good to simplify it a little bit. I'll rewrite that sentence of yours to give you an idea of what I mean. So, I would say something like this: Chains wrapped around his being, ripping into him if he so much as tried to scratch an itch, while I just walked around, watching this Hell that I found myself in.

I hope my example was understandable. I really do like your story so far, and I'd love to read more from you!

>>6
I will be sure to change that.

This image by the way is concept art my friend did of the main character. He's got stuff to change on it that he forgot to do, but still. It's nice.

Just a bump.

Wow, I LOVE that concept art! That is amazing, totally gorgeous- it really brings the whole thing to life even further. If you ever write more on this I would definitely love to read it. Seriously, because this looks and sounds just like the sort of thing I love.

This most likely will end up being a promotional poster of sorts for it.

I know this isn't an art board but I got done with the image I've been working on. I didn't do the art, I just edited it, cleaned it, colored it.

Basically the poster.

Wow, just saw this, and I have to say this is so awesome, especially the one on the bottom right :D

this is really good. looking forward to release

Thanks.