Hey there!!
So I really enjoy writing stories, but the thing is...I really suck at it.
1) There's no momentum throughout the story, making it seem short and rushed.
2) My descriptions are very short and I have a lot of dialogue. Very unbalanced.
3) I really suck at explaining action or movement and everything I write sounds awkward?
4)I don't understand how to structure it? Like...what are indents for? When do I end the paragraph?
5)All my stories basically sound like children picture books?

I really don't know what to do. How do I improve?? Examples?? eue dhjkasfhkadfj help

1. Well, I think that's fine, what I do occasionally is read through what I've written and then add more, but short stories don't always necessarily need so much detail, hence calling their name.
2. That's ok. Everyone has their own style of writing.
3. Basically look back at what I said to number one. You'll eventually find your flow after writing
4. Indents are to indicate a new paragraph has started. You can end the paragraph wherever you want. If you have dialogue though you end the paragraph when the next person talks. Basically paragraphs are one topic. Like for example, you start talking about say puppies, then you end up going to a different topic such as your own puppy, you would start a new paragrpah to indicate you are done talking about the first topic. At least, that's how I do it. As I said before every writer has their own way of doing things.
5. Maybe you want to look into becoming a children's book author. lol, you should consider that if you're good at it.

Just keep writing that's the only way you'll improve. Hope this helped.

A good way to improve your writing is to study the writing of others. Study the effects of certain sentence structures. Often, short and clipped sentences are meant for emphasis, or a dramatic pause of some sort, which generally leads to emphasis. Singling out a sentence in a paragraph provides the same effect. Go onto Ao3 or FF.net and look up the highest reviewed or "kudos" fanfictions.

Another way to improve your writing is to begin roleplaying. There are several places where you can begin, such as Tumblr, or chatrooms. Roleplaying is one of the ways I improved my writing dramatically, and it's also really fun. An important thing to remember is that your writing can improve, but you are no worse or any better than anyone in roleplaying. Roleplaying is for fun, and for self-improvement.

I wish you luck. Keep writing.

1. First, you've got to figure out where your exact problem lies:
- plot: jumbled storyline? lacking in suspense? main conflict too dull?
- characters: shallow? uninteresting? unsympathetic? cliché?
- narration/ writing style: lacking in tension? no particularity/ "boring" newspaper style?

2. A lot of dialogue isn't a problem in itself, after all scenic texts like plays rely almost solely on dialogue to draw their readers in. Same goes for short descriptions, most writers aim for a concise depiction. The question is how you connect characterisations and descriptions with your dialogues. Do you alternate, only use one at a time or maybe mix them all the time?

3. This sounds like a case of telling instead of showing. Do you portray movements and actions in a roundabout way or in detail? Do you only descrive them or do you try to invoke emotions with your narration?

4. Which structure are you having difficulties with? The text's layout (cf. Lovely's explanation above) or the storyline's (aka narrative) structure (setup, conflict, resolution)?

5. Please elaborate. Does your writing style/ tone sound too simplistic or what reminds you of a children's book?

It would be a lot easier if you could give us an example.

For general tips on how to write fiction, take a look at the following thread: Worst Mistakes to Avoid in Writing

If you want to condense your writing style and get more familiar with short fiction, try writing a Mini saga. It helps you hone your writing by reducing your stories to their essentials.

By the way, are you writing a "short story" or a story that is shorter than a novel, i.e. a novella? Short story as a genre have an inherently different set of rules to follow than a short narration. Here are some criteria for a short story:
- length: the exact length is debatable, but usually readable in one session
- content: mostly character-driven because of limited length, it often focuses on a turning point in a character's life
- structure: there isn't much space for complex plotting, so the storyline tends to be linear without formal exposition and/or conclusion (like a literary snapshot)
- narration: often told from a single point of view

So, what kind of short fiction do you write?

Thank you everyone for all of your suggestions. ; w ; I'll try my best !!

Uhh and reply to: Litairtak Speruff (I don't know how to reply. I'm so sorry :<)

1) It's my writing style. I really suck at describing things well so it sounds awkward? And when I try to make things sound more dramatic, it comes out stiff and boring? Like...I try to add more emotion in my writing but it doesn't exactly turn out the way I want it to.

2) I'm not entirely sure whether I understand your question but my long parts of both dialogue and description alternate. It kinda looks odd.

3)I honestly try, but it doesn't work. As I said before. It sounds stiff, boring, and emotionless aha

4)Aha yes...what Lovely was explaining, but I think I got that covered from her explanation. :D

5) Yes, I write very simplistic stories, even when I try not to and be descriptive. It's basically like "'Chara 1" did this. And then he did this. Then this" <--example lool. Its like what you said before "telling than showing"


and I normally write short stories but there are times where it's longer and can become a novella

>>6 You click on the post number of the person you wish to direct the reply to ^_^

Anyways, I understand how you feel, writing out movement or action in a way that can truly capture the essence of the character's motion can be difficult, you know? Honestly, though, I totally agree with >>2, you should keep at it and eventually you'll develop your own narrative style; much of the kinks one has to deal with in developing their flavor of prose can be identified and modified as you write, so don't be disheartened if you feel it's lacking or flawed in some way; writing is subjective and, in many ways an expression of the author, so you just have to pour yourself into it and mold it as you go :>

In detail, what I have to say or ask:

1) So you say that, in an effort to instill drama, it doesn't come out right? How exactly do you try to do that? Through the narration, through the characters? Syntax and diction can have an integral if somewhat subtle impact on this, so mixing up the words you use and your sentence structure could be something to experiment with, kinda like >>3 was talking about.

2) I think the fact that it looks "unbalanced" isn't necessarily such a bad thing; as has been said before a la >>2 and >>4, it just depends on the context of what you're writing and how you tie things together. It's more about how you cook it than choosing the ingredients, sometimes.

3) Refer to 1. Much of the impact in writing might be derived from perspective, and sometimes two sentences can say the same thing but be interpreted by the reader with different degrees of impact or focus, I.E. "The man collapsed on the floor from exhaustion" vs. "The floor buckled and creaked in protest against the man's inability to support his own weight as he assumed a supine position." (Sorry if this isn't a good example :3). It also depends on your writing style, and I know we've said that a bunch, heh, but it's true; not every technique will feel "correct" or natural for every writer, and tropes are tools, so don't be afraid to fiddle with your writing a bit and try strange things. You never know what sticks for you~

4) Yeah we're good here.

5) There's nothing wrong with a simplistic story, in my opinion, as the beauty of writing lies in the diversity of expression based on who wrote the piece, but if you want to introduce more complexity or variation, like in 1. and 3. I'd play with the diction and syntax of your writing, maybe conduct characterization outside of what you want to write so you have it set up how people will act in the story, and do a little world building so that you can put yourself in the setting in the character's shoes and authentically interact with it within the context of the story. But don't cut out simplicity entirely. A concise statement at the end of a flowing tirade of long sentences glutted with detail and exposition can really tie up a scene or event for the reader :>

But, yeah, you know, have faith in your ability to write, everybody struggles from time to time and as long as you enjoy it you can only get better ^_^

>>6 You can indicate which post you're replying to by using ">>" and the post's number. It will automatically link to it. Or you use Toastywafflz' solution

2. If you worry about having contrasting chunks of dialogue and description, try to incorporate the description in the conversation and vice versa. Here's my own albeit clumsy example (the same problem was addressed in the other thread).

1. & 3. I've partially covered this topic in the other thread, but let me explain it a little more. Regarding your difficulty to adopt a scenic, i.e. concrete, visual writing style, I think keen observation is the first step towards success. One can only convey what one has consciously perceived.

Do you happen to play an instrument, to paint, to make (slam) poetry, to act on stage or to practice mindfulness? If you do, you can use your experiences to hone your observational skills and by observation, I mean perceiving something with all of your senses. Nonetheless, it's easier to start with one sense and then include another.

If you're a musician or a (slam) performer, you may want to try some onomatopoetic exercises. Listen to your surroundings and try to convert each sound to a suitable (string of) syllables. The first time will feel awkward but after a while this exercise becomes fun and potentially addicting.
If you feel comfortable with your onomatopoetry, you can try to match it with actual words. That way you can determine which word is the most suitable to describe the sound.

You may raise your eyebrows at this suggestion, but believe me, as ridiculous as it seems, it will sharpen your mind for the phonetic quality of your writing. Poets and playwrights are very well aware of the sound of their every word and the flow of their sentences. Other people may forget that interesting fiction should be just as good when read aloud and most likely even better. Let an unaffliated person read your story out loud and check your writing for stylistic flaws.

If you're more of a painter, actor or a visually-oriented person, work on that part of your perception first. Examine objects, people and your surroundings closely, you want to make use of your senses of smell, taste and touch, too. How do things change depending on the situation? What kind of tone and body language do people use with each other? How do emotional outbursts manifest?

If you can get access to a drama troupe/club, local theatre or something comparable, don't hesitate to pay them a visit. If they allow it, attend their rehearsals. They are the best opportunity to study human emotions and body language. Emotional expressions are an actor's working tools after all, and they consciously use them. Plus, stage actors tend to amplify their gestures and facial expressions, so it's easier to observe them.
If you don't have any actors around use the people around you as study objects, though it may be a lot more difficult to figure out their thoughts as you can seldom ask them directly.

Well, here's an example for how to transform a "telling" style into a "showing" one:

He drank some water.

A classic example of generalised narration. Let's make it a little more visual:

He opened a bottle, poured himself a glass of water and gulped it down it.

Less roundabout, but still not as detailed as we need it to be in order to become an immediate experience:

His fingers reached for the bottle's top, pulled on its cap giving it a spin, fumbled, then set it down on the counter. Tilting the flask, a stream gurgled forth, splashing a few spots on his other hand that kept the glass in its place. When he raised it to his lips, droplets ran down its walls and trickled from its bottom. His adams apple slid up and down as the water ran past.

This amount of detail should do for the reader to be able to watch it before their inner eye. However, a concrete description on its own isn't appealing enough to keep the reader engaged. It can only serve as a literary motif or more often as the backdrop for a more interesting event such as the characters' dialogues or inner monologues.

Which brings me to the next point: the momentum. It isn't necessarily bad to keep your storyline simple, but employ a sufficient degree of conflict (e.g. external circumstances or inner turmoil). Conflict is the spice that keeps a story literarily tasty. Make your characters troubled, you can even torment them, just make them change and possibly grow. A sympathetic character's development draws out a reader's emotional response like nothing else.
And if you cannot make your character sympathetic, at least make them intriguing and believable in particular to keep your reader's attention.

As you can see, creating captivating characters is a tough job, but an essential one for any story. The only method I know to guarantee their credibility is to study them inside out. Develop them beforehand. Write down or at least think about their life's story, anything that happened to them or may happen, their background, childhood, relationships, current circumstances, mannerisms, appearance, personality, aims, dreams and failures, even the first time they peed their pants. Anything.

It may seem too much work at first glance, but you'll only know that your characters have truly come to life when you can imagine them outside your story's setting. For example, do you know how they would behave if you saw them shop for groceries? Congratulations, you've successfully created a real character.

Sorry, this was quite long-winded. Just use what you consider manageable. Good luck with your story!

I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this before, but I might as well say this.
I highly recommend reading the works of authors like Dostoevsky and Conrad (specifically "Crime and Punishment" and "Heart of Darkness" as their respective works, as well as quite a few others) and maybe even "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay" by Chabon.
But other than those, I'd say that it's a good idea to do some observations every now and then and write down every little thing you notice. Eventually (and this is just in theory) you should be able to visualize those and other environments down to the right amount of detail necessary.