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Prolouge to my book... please help improve (4)

1 Name: BARRONESS : 2015-01-13 22:13 ID:7speWfND [Del]

I stood at the end of the street as the flames grew higher. The warmth burned my face as i watched my whole life fly away with the ashes. My home, My family, all of it, died that day. My vision blured through the tears running down my cheeks. I stared at the crumbling building, aware that my face probally was white as snow with the fear. Flocks of red and blue lights surrounded the area and hords of neighbors rushed to console me, however i found it didn't help. I wanted to run. Still, i stood and question rushed through my head "Who are you? Where am I? What's going on?" Yet two questions shocked everyone the most "Why am i crying? Who am I?" These events can't be reversed. So i might as well tell how i got here.

2 Name: Magnolia!2ipznOcc5g : 2015-01-13 23:12 ID:/p8F2TYU [Del]

Changes I made are in bold.

I stood at the end of the street as the flames grew higher. The heat burned my face as I watched my whole life fly away with the ashes.
My home, my family, all of it, died that day. My vision was blurred by the tears running down my cheeks. I stared at the crumbling building, aware that my face was probably white as snow with fear. Flocks of red and blue fluttering lights surrounded the area, and hords of neighbors migrated to console me. It didn't help; I wanted to run.

Unmoving, I stared at all the unrecognizable faces and scenery with questions rushing through my head.
Who are you?
Where am I?
What's going on?
Yet, it were two questions that shocked everyone the most.
"Why am I crying? Who am I?"

These events can't be reversed. So I might as well tell how I got here...

3 Name: BARRONESS : 2015-01-14 16:00 ID:7speWfND [Del]

THANKS MAGNOLIA!!!!!!!!! Thats gonna help tons!! I restarted 5 times and can't get past chapter 4

4 Name: Magnolia!2ipznOcc5g : 2015-01-15 00:29 ID:SHN/cRzt [Del]

>>3 No problem. It was fun. I think you can continue using this thread whenever you need more help with your works.