I posted this on Facebook a day or two ago, and someone told me I should keep a journal on hand for when I think of things like this, and that I should be a writer. I'm now trying to gather more opinions. Let me know what you guys think.

"You're treading dangerous waters, my friend. I point out the rocks you sail towards, and advise you to change course, but still you press onward in hopes that the rocks will move for you. I have refused passage on this voyage, that I may not be on this ship when it crashes about on the perils of this blood-stained sea. If you should take your eyes from the sky, you would see the wreckage of so many others. This place is a graveyard for ships like yours. It is a final resting place for the hopes of those who, like you, dream of well-tempered waters and clearer skies, who blindly move toward disaster. My ship sleeps here as well. I speak from experience, not spite. Must my words fall on deaf ears? Should you fail to make this voyage, like so many others, you have only yourself to blame. Still, I wish for the best, and hope the sea will rise enough that you may sail past these rocks, and onward to better waters".

I like it. I don't know what else to think of it other than the fact that I like it.

It's good.

>>2 Thank you. I always feel like my writing isn't good enough, so that certainly helps

That was amazing. Had a deep air of a poem. I don't know the intricate details of the situtation that inspired this, but you described it beautifully.
Do you want to make this thread yours for writing more?

>>3 I want to see what it would read like if you wrote an actual short story. Mind trying it out? I like the way you words things. It keeps it from being utterly boring.

I'll read it if you post it, and I'll give constructive criticism if you want it.

>>4 My friend is about to make a mistake that I made before. It seems good at first, but it winds up ending in disaster, and she refuses to listen to my advice.

>>5 I've thought about it. And constructive criticism is always nice, lol.

>>6 After seeing what you can do with just that much, I really hope to read a short story by you, maybe one or two pages long, to see if you really can write. You have a way with words, Crisis.

Then again, if you don't want to try it I won't fault you for it. I'm personally too lazy to write anything of my own, though I personally think I'm not bad at it.

On a side note, I prefer saying "constructive criticism" over just saying "criticism" because the second choice just makes it sound like I'm going to tear it apart, call it shit, and throw it back at you. Despite popular belief, among everyone that knows me, I am actually quite nice and helpful when critiquing. Just because I'm a bitch, doesn't mean I'm a bitch about everything. I also take writing very seriously, since it is a love of mine as well.

I swear, my friend had one of his friends edit a paper, and the editor just handed it back saying, "It's good." I was livid. Then my friend said he wanted real help, and handed me the paper telling me to tear it apart and make him feel like shit about his writing. I was like, "I don't make anyone feel like shit about their writing unless it really is shit." I took his paper, wrote my constructive criticism, and handed it back to him. He read it over and said that I didn't write much and it was a lot nicer than he expected. I told him that I didn't write much because I liked his work. It was nice because I feel that I should tear anyone down over an honest effort, despite how crappy some of the shit I had to edit has been.

Enough of my ranting. I still want to read some real work by you. I have a feeling you're one of those people to use big words. I like those kind of people.

>>7 I always have trouble with the beginnings of stories. For some reason, I just never like that beginnings of my stories. I have no clue where to start, usually.

>>8 I feel your pains there. Some stories just seem to have a natural beginning, others are just like, "No matter where I start it feels like I'm jumping right into it.

I have a friend that I usually ask for help on stuff like that if I can't figure it out myself.

>>9 I'm probably going to start with the background on most writings. I'll describe things like the weather, atmosphere, random people, then characters last. When I start with a character it feels like I'm rushing it. I'm also thinking about starting a book. It'd mostly be for me though, and not really as anything more than a hobby.

>>10 Each person starts differently. I personally just start in the middle of it, and work my way backwards until I feel like everything important is covered and I reached a good starting point. If I need any previous information after that, I use a flashback.

I prefer to start with one of my characters talking, mostly because I don't know where to begin.

This is good.. If you start like this.. the story would probably move in two possible directions.. first it could go like everything started with these words.. and go to a flashback or the main story could directly start from this onward.. depends on how you write though..

Thinking about staring the book. Would definitely be set in a horror world.

I like it.Nice, gloomy and serious, yet not boring.

I just sat and wrote. I may revise this tomorrow.

Overall unhappy. Complete rewrite.

It's a well thought out character statement regarding a pretense event. I enjoy the fact it involves the readers to digest themselves of various questions. Like, what is going on? What will happen? To ponder the ideas of what kind of world are we-the readers-are in for.

You know, just to reel the interest and keep the "eyes" peeled for more.

So, in one way to judge the overall work. I'll say you did a good job to incite reader interest. It's got the correct passages for what could be a intro or a prelude to the story. Or what could be a closing to a chapter. So, if your still wondering what to start your work with. Maybe, that little piece should be in consideration.

Another then that, I think it's a good piece of character dialogue with ominous intention. Great writing. And well thought out.