Hey guys! So I'm writing a book that I hope to get published one day. This is just the first Paragraph of the First Chapter but I hope you like it!
Snowfury: Chapter one: The White Wolf of the Mountain

"Gone. The word was so strange, sitting upon his tongue as if it never really belonged. Death. The word hung in the air as thick as the stench of drying blood, carried away by the wind to a place where nothing waited and life became so irrelevant. The wind gnashed it's teeth, grabbing their fur and ears and the vapor that formed from their lips, dragging it away, across the frozen tundra to places they themselves would never see. The signs of battle were everywhere, and on the ground the blood of man and beast mixed, their unfamiliar, now mingled stenches crying out for vengeance, surprised at suddenly being driven from their homes into the cold wilderness that had forsaken them and given them a burial unfit for any creature: only of ice and snow. This was the work of a war that had been raging for as long as the stories could tell: the war between man and wolf. A long, mournful note pierced the crisp morning air, rising higher and higher in pitch. All around, other voices joined the first, singing a sad lullaby towards the heavens, where it was hoped their brethren could hear them and echo their reply in the moaning of the wind as it passed on its way down the mountain. That wind that was both the messenger of life, and death."

What do you guys think? Reply please!

o.o

Sounds quite amazing, hope you get published!

Pretty good, OP. The spacing needs a bit of work though (be dure not to have blocks of text), but the imagery and personification suits it well. Not really sure why you said "not suited for younger readers" though.

>>3 Well, some parents complain about the word blood and say that their children are too young for violence even being hinted at in a story, so that's why I put it.
>>2 Thanks. It's still a work in progress. My favorite paragraph so far was actually in some ways inspired by Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451" and is in the first chapter, talking about an air plane and describing what it looks like to the wolf.