Now before we get into things more deeply, I already know it shows the date of a last post, but that isn't what I mean.

I feel that it should also show the name of who posted last. Not just the date. I don't know how possible that is, but given it can show the date of it, as well as shows the name of the topic's creator, I feel that it's highly possible to also show the names of who posts last in each topic on each board. It would make it that much easier to CTRL+F a topic if you remembered who posted last, but not the name of the topic.

Secondly, would it be possible to show to the side of that, a small quote of either the Opening post, or the "last poster's post"? For example, it takes the first sentence, and quotes it and places it beside it's specific thread. Will make CTRL+F a hell of a lot easier even for the noobies who don't know shit.

So the intent is to make it easier for people to find threads, right?
I'm simply guessing here (because I don't know how good everyone's memory is), but wouldn't it be harder for people to remember who posted on a thread last to search for it?
Also, there's a high chance that people could have been the last posters on several threads, considering one of the first things newer members do is post on all the topics that interest them.

Also, the upgrade would require the last post to be the same person from the time of remembrance to the time of searching. For instance, when a person remembers a post on the Random Thought Thread, searches for it later, and by then the last post's already changed. If at all, this function seems like it would only work on slower boards/ threads.

Although I'm simply guessing here, I'm assuming no one really remembers about who posted last while not remembering a few key words of an OP of a thread. I don't know, it just seems to be geared towards very specific situations.

Although you did bring up a pretty handy idea late in that post, though.
Having a quick view (perhaps the first paragraph, or first 1-2 sentences?) of a thread from the archives seems like a very helpful idea to assist recall. If anyone would be confused about what a thread's about, they would simply be able to quickly view the thread without having to load the entire thing. Perhaps it would work by hovering over the thread title, then a small window overlays to show you part of the OP of that thread?

Although I have no idea how it would be integrated (Javascript seems viable), the latter part of >>1 seems like it would definitely be helpful for people to find threads.