Since two years i dont can get a personal relationship with girls( in the past when i had FUCKING 15 so i wasnt prepared for be a functional partner and long size realitionships cause i wwas really inmature).
Now feel like no one wants to have a relationship and thats ok. I don´t see them like a only get a girlfriend opportunitty cause that style of thinking is for jerks. I think at this point at least one i had should become one? but the world dont work like that. So constantly i questionin me : Did i really gonna met a girl who felt a connection, i don´t know im not god.
Then recently i met a girl who i felt that connection but, she said she isn´t made for realtionship, i cried cause i think i finally found it but im okay, at least im becoming her confidental person because all of his friend abandon her, she is honest. But i idk what to do, of course im not gonna abandon her (i caring for her so much), but should i wait when she changes her mind and confess her or just try to find another girl who wants a relationship.
I don´t know at this point why i don´t give up, i think is the fear of becoming a stupid incel or only "the friend who will never get a girlfriend cause divinal interventions but isnt because he is a horrible persona (also that kinda guys always get long realationships)". at this point i confused, im still standing but it makes me sad this hard reality and the fact that many guys went down and turn into monsters by this feeling.
PD: Should i get into college girls or the baker?

i think since ure young u shouldnt put so much pressure on urself to be in a relationship so soon, i think what incels dont realise and young kids is that u can end up in a really loving relationship at any point of ur life, i was rushing to be in relationships and ended up being really hurt. take ur time, u might find someone who loves u and u love in ur 20s or later and thats honestly okay. I think that if u like this girl a lot, just stay friends w her for now, give her the time and space she needs and if she gains feelings for u thatll be nice and even if she doesnt u'll have a long term friend that cares for u :>..my advice would be though, dont look at the friendship w the goal of only dating her or hoping she will date u, its an easy gateway to disappointment or developing weird ideologies. Just focus on making good friends and love wil come along the way

Thanks for your advice, but unfortunately, I'm not doing well emotionally right now. She (now i will refer her as Z) got mad at me because I told her I was going to an event tomorrow where a friend of mine was participating (i will refer her as V). Apparently, Z got mad because I, WHO AM NOT HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND, tried to be a more present friend to V, who I've known for years (this is because I never felt worthy of her friendship since we hardly ever talked, and now V is in college and has a girlfriend, so supporting her at these kinds of events is something I want to do for our friendship).
Z told me she gets jealous and angry very easily, among other bad habits, but I THOUGHT SHE WAS ONLY LIKE THAT WHEN SHE WAS IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP! NOT IN A FRIENDSHIP! I ALMOST STOPPED CRYING OVER SOMETHING I SAID WITH NO INTENTION OF HURTING HER! SHE JUST FUCKING MANIPULATED ME. REALLY? WHAT DID I DO? IS THIS A PUNISHMENT? AM I CURSED? WHY DO HORRID THINGS HAPPEN TO ME WHEN I FALL IN LOVE? I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BOTHER THEM WITH MY SHITTY LIFE ANYMORE, BUT I HAVE NO ONE LEFT TO TALK TO. Why do none of the people I call true friends care about me? They always have people to rely on. They make me feel like I'm just an ornament. I was completely myself with her, and now I feel like I'm being punished for trying to be happy and enjoy life.

I apologize to everyone on this site for sharing my stupid problems. I woke up today and just don't want to think about anything; my head hurts. But I don't care. Even though I say I don't want to share my problems, I do. I'm a fraud. I'll let you know how I'm doing in the next few days.

:( don't apologise... I hope u feel better soon.. Get some rest n I hope the situation settles...

Thanks. I will continue the thread when i feel better. PD: thanks Bnni i hope you have a nice week.