I honestly understand this situation. But, im so terrified that I will lose. I try to emulate Ayanokoji and I believe I am truly learning and growing, but when I have to put the actual work into trusting my plan and my own though process I get scared. I fear my own inability. I believe that most of my successes are based on luck and I fear that my luck will run out. I want to believe in myself. I pray hoping to hear God give me some sort of sign that I wont fail but, I don't know what to look for. It geniunly hurts to keep trying to understand how to move forward and trust in myself. I can think of countless abilities that would make me unstopable but I have no "real" clue how to achieve those abilities. Fear is not of God, however, it is of humans, it's in out nature to fear what we don't understand and seek an understanding until were able to prove our percentage of success. This problem has trapped me in a situation I hate, that I believe I should be able to handle. I've prepared a plan that is relatively fool proof as long as I dive in fully. I just refuse to go for it. I'm scared. I watch these videos and I feel a bit of motivation and I try to use that to fuel my discipline but I fail every single time. I have no clue what to do. Honestly, I just wish that I could turn off all of my emotions and just absorb the teaching and mindset of Ayanokoji, I would rather be unable or still learning how to "feel" that know how to feel, whether that's love, fear, worry and have those be the reasons why I never achieve my goals. I just don't know what to do.

It's no wonder you're posting this here because it's extremely cringe, he's a fucking anime character. 'Sigma' is fake alt right cringe bullshit lol

I'm curious, what about the other stuff though? Any actually helpful information?

Honestly, just believe in yourself. Not God, not luck. Mindset is everything, if you think you will fail, you will almost guaranteed. If you think you will succeed you will do everything in your power to ensure that. It's scientifically proven, look up studies of rats were scientists rigged the test and made one rat the winner and the other one the loser constantly

why'd I read that as Ayuwoki?

now the song's looping in my head.