1 Name: Anonymous : 2024-10-20 15:36 ID:7jtqrGF8 [Del]
Ok so I just want to ramble a bit.
I have a friend I've probably been crushing on for a few years now, but I only stopped being in denial about it a few months ago. I didn't confess or anything because the situation was complicated. First of all, they had a boyfriend, second, I'm most probably NOT in their strike zone, third, I feel like my feelings for them are more aromantically aligned? If that makes sense.
My guilt comes from the fact that, they were going out with this boyfriend, and I never liked him from the beginning, he gave me bad vibes and he shut down any conversation with me for no reason whatsoever. But because I wasn't able to have any long conversation with him, I thought I shouldn't judge him based on just vibes alone and I should instead support my friend in their relationship. And also, since I had a (repressed) crush on my friend, I didn't want my hunch to be based on jealousy. Turns out the bastard was a toxic motherf*cker and my friend suffered a lot because of him.
So, while feeling vindicated that my hunch was actually real, I do feel guilty for never telling my friend clearly enough that I didn't like their boyfriend and that they should've stayed away from him or broke up with him sooner. I feel like, while trying to maintain a good front as a friend and someone with a repressed crush, I actually made them hurt even more, and I'm mad at myself and my lack of proactivity.
Another thing, I also feel like my romantic attraction towards them is devolving even more towards a strictly platonic, but still deep attraction. And this makes me wonder if I should let it devolve even more so I don't feel romantically attracted to them at all at some point and can move on with my life, or if I should try confessing once they've settled down their resentment and sadness for their ex.
I just feel so weird about them now, because I want what's best for them of course, but I'm almost entirely certain I'm not a good match for them. I know I could treat them 10000 times better than the asshat ex boyfriend, but I also know that them being attracted to me is almost impossible. And I also don't want to court them because that seems inappropriate due to the other guy getting his way exactly like this and I do NOT want to be like him in any way.
