As per my previous post, I've been going long distance with my boyfriend for the summer and felt an emotional distance being put between us. I questioned him about it and he he felt it to, but he says he's unintentionally isolating himself from everyone. I just saw him yesterday after 3 months long distance and I started crying because I missed him and it was really good to see him, but he didn't say "I missed you too" or anything of that sort. So I brought it up because I noticed it immediately and it made me sad and he says he doesn't know why he can't say it, or anything sweet for that matter. Ex. (I love you, I miss you, looking forward to seeing you, you're pretty) Anything along those lines. And then he started crying too and we hugged there for a while until we both got too emotionally exhausted to talk about it ig. It is so exhausting arguing to him about this stuff bc he always says that he "doesn't know why" he doesn't do them, and then I spend hours fishing it out of him. I think I love him a lot, and I want to tell him but my self respect stops me because I know he won't say it back. Weve been dating for 5 months now, but 3 of those 5 months were long distance, so he feels he doesn't know me well enough to love me. I don't know what to do because this relationship is causing me so much stress but I won't allow myself to stay unless he shows me he loves me.

Saw him the other day, talked to him again. He's off again at home while I'm at uni. Nothing has changed so far. Was able to talk to a friend about everything he's done and I'm starting to realize just how bad this all is. He checks a lot of my boxes, and he hasn't been bad to me per se, like no lying or cheating or anything like that, but it really doesn't feel like we are in a relationship. He's gone from my loving boyfriend who makes me oragami flowers, gets me Lily's every week, tells me I'm pretty and helps me drag my suitcase to his house in the middle of the night to just some guys I talk to everyday, and the same thing every day. I've been trying so much and all of this hurts. It all hurts.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, especially if you haven't been dating long overall. One of my roomates was in a long-distance with someone he only knew for a short time, while they were together they were incredibly happy, and even while they were apart they still seemed happy. He didn't find out she stopped being interested in him until he dropped a lot of money on a plane ticket (she lived in another country). My personal long-distance experience wasn't as dramatic as that, but didnt turn out the best either.

This is a piece of advice I have given some of my friends when it comes to relationships, If the goods are good, but the bads are really bad, then its not worth it. Obviously I'm not in your brain but from the post I can tell that its giving you a lot of grief and pain, and anyone with even the smallest amount of empathy wouldnt want someone to deal with that pain. The pain of leaving would also hurt like hell, so I'm not going to outright tell you to leave him, but if staying around hurts then it may be something to consider.

I think it may be possible that he could be going through something internally. If he really has been distancing himself from everyone in his life then something may be happening that he isn't talking about. The reason I think this is because of his reaction when you asked why he couldn't say anything loving, the fact that he broke down reads to me that there is something going on. Maybe he really doesn't know what it is (emotions are complicated and I often feel that way too) or maybe he knows what it is and doesnt feel like he can share/doesn't want to share for some reason. If you think this might be the case then maybe try to stick around, it could be than even though he is pushing people away now is when he needs people most.

Ultimately, what you do is up to you. I obviously don't know you, but from how you described the situation I can tell that you love him alot, and that him distancing himself is bringing you a lot of hurt, and it seems like you are putting in a lot of effort to keep things going. I have my personal opinion, but that doesnt matter since I'm not you and I don't know your full situation. No matter how things turn out I hope that you are able to get through this, and it turns out the way that you want it to.