1 Name: Tree : 2024-08-29 12:22 ID:uh/CHgH7 [Del]
GUYS. I NEED DOME HELP/ADVICE ASAP.
I am going back to uni in less that two weeks and long story short my mom says she's coming with me. Why is this a problem?
Because she's mentally ill and has a history of all types of abusive with me. Unfortunately also she is incredibly sharp.
So again, whats the problem specifically?
I have a journal that I keep that is in storage in country that I go to uni in (I'm an international student on scholarship). Along with a card from a boy who thought he was in love with me (politely turned him down, we are still friends). And my mom knows jack shit about either of these things and I'd like to keep it that way. However I'm smart enough to know that "helping me unpack" means root through your things and debrief me why you have anything. It's incredibly stressful to me because she will get pissed, and she's done awful things to me when she's pissed. She's not above hurting me or pulling me out of university, which she has the power to do since my scholarship is partial and even with the money I've saved from work I can't cover housing, utilities and tuition.
Any advice or ideas would be much appreciated.
So far I've thought of telling my friend who I'm living with to take it as soon as I find it in one of my boxes and say that it's hers, and I was just keeping it for her but my mom isn't above just snatching it from her hands and reading it anyways.
I know it was stupid to do either. I shouldn't have let my guard down with that but now id there any way out of this???
Please send advice if you have any.
2 Name: Firion !!/fN+hj5w : 2024-08-30 01:21 ID:JQF/221J [Del]
Firstly, that's awful, sorry you had to go through that.
I think that sounds like a plan already. Maybe try to stall for time so you can secure it on D-day. Act as if you've been holding a piss and ran off to the toilet in the building your room is in, when in reality, you're running to your room to secure that journal (if possible). Or contact your roomate to secure it for you if you're comfortable with that and they arrive earlier than you.
That's all I had in my thoughts for now, I'll reply again if I got anything.
3 Name: 4ngel : 2024-09-04 00:15 ID:w/ZrWFkO [Del]
It totally sucks having an abusive parent, especially one that believes they're entitled to your adult life/self. Grey-rocking method works good for these types and also being as blunt, boring, unemotional as possible. in my opinion, have the important stuff/personals already packed/hidden/put away for later.
What kind of parent invades privacy, boundaries, and even threatens to take away something as important as education for their own ego....? its not your fault
not sure if this helps but I'm sorry ur going thru that
4 Name: Tree : 2024-09-05 14:11 ID:IKxwX3tR [Del]
Thank you guys for the advice I really appreciate it :). Long story short my mom is not coming with me but my dad is, and he's way less likely to root through my stuff bc he's more chill, but if he sees anything he deems as weird he will tell mom so there is still a slight risk. We will see how it goes :)