I don't understand what I am doing wrong
I am not strong enough to do a job well enough to be praised. Even if I like the result, only I like it
It's really important for me to hear admiration from other people
It's kind of selfish and stupid and I'm ashamed of these thoughts, but I don't know how to deal with them

I use this site as a place to talk because there is no one else
Thank you if you read this

Admiration comes at the other person's will. It's not necessarily an auto response, unless the person is polite enough. But that's not reality. Maybe we were raised with or without constant praise, but either way the sooner you learn to appreciate your own work, the better time you're gonna have doing it. People don't often get praised for what's expected of them. They only get reprimanded for mistakes. Even if they perform at 99.99% efficiency, .01% mistakes gets their attention before 99.99% of good work.

Praise comes with long term consistency, and it's gradual, so if you don't see that coming in like future if you continue to work you do, then change who you work for. What for you is the lesser of two evils.

That being said, if the work you do puts more benefit to them then they expected it to... but no sense in slaving, giving 200% of yourself for someone who would only praise you if you're willing to sacrifice your well being for their peace of mind. There are different types of people out there, some expect perfection, some are just grateful you showed up and tried. Find where you can thrive, don't waste yourself in people that will use you.

And don't make it obvious that all people need to do is praise you a little to have their way. You'll just be used over and again and then your new problem will be Trust. Know your worth and keep your guard up. Keep it simple. You dont need to have 10 people let you down to find 1 that will give you what you need.