I also used to have this friend, and i also had a crush on him... I don't know if i'm desperate, or what. Human beings live for one another, and thats what keeps us going. How long am i going to be denied that right? have i screwed someone up or something? with the whole "seceret thing", its not the first time i've had sex, but it still feels hard, (not in that way.) i want someone to come and be my friend, or someone who i can become companion to. I am very lonley. Those two people were the only thing keeping me going, and now its down to searching for someone. Its tearing me. the worst part is that my second crush, also called me gay, even though he said he liked me.

Could someone give me advice plz?

I don't rlly know what advice to give u :(. All I can say is don't get up.
If you wanna meet more ppl, try joining a club or group. I'm sure there's lots of online meetings for things.
Maybe you'll find someone :)

I don't think you've screwed anything up. Life is an endless spiral of ups and downs and this is a down. Your friends will always be the thing that keeps you going, that's how life works, but that doesn't mean *these* friends.

There will eventually be someone you meet that makes it feel like life gives you meaning, but until then, don't give up hope, because now you have something to look forward to.