Hello! Anyone here ever thought of why every single thought has to be perceived by the mind, before actually being felt and resonated in the heart? It's that uneasiness that comes from knowing that you're trying to absorb emotions through reason, instead of actually just feeling it yourself. Am I trying to put a wall between me and my emotions? probably. But it just seems strange when there's always the influence of your thoughts, instead of just, you know, feeling it. It gives me a feeling that I'm lying to myself when I experience certain emotions. Especially those emotions revolving around optimism. In short, I just don't know sometimes if I'm overthinking things, if the things I feel are truly felt deep within, or only influenced by a memory in my mind. Sorry if it seemed as if I just rambled on, but yeah...

Oh, I relate so much to this. I'm afraid I won't be able to give much advice, for I haven't figured out the answer myself yet, but at least you'll know that you're not the only one contemplating this chain of thoughts, so I'll tell you my experience.

The thing I am struggling with is the question whether my emotions are my real emotions, or emotions that I'm projecting on myself because I either wish for them to be there or I find it logical for them to be there. So, every time I would feel an emotion, I would be totally lost about whether it'd be a spontaneous emotion or an emotion which I lie to myself about, lie in such a way that I'm not able to distinct it from my real emotions. The result of all this would be that I doubt every single emotion that I have, suspecting that the emotion might be fake, leading to a sort of cognitive dissonance.

Why do I do this? What is the real emotion? Do I want to talk to this person, or am I justifying my need for attention with the fake emotion of wanting to befriend that person? Am I happy with this in my life? Or do I want change? Is that change really something that I desire, or have I told myself that I do?

Perhaps I'm on about something entirely different than you, but your description of what you think/feel really resonates with what's been bothering me exceptionally much these past months. Detachment of your emotions, leading to your emotions being undistinguishable from rational thoughts. But, are they really rational? Perhaps there are just conflicting emotions.

Okay, I started rambling too, sorry. Couldn't prevent myself from blurting out my whole train of thought. I hope you're able to relate, and that you're able to see the light in your sorry predicament.