I’m gonna ramble for a bit, but bare with me. I’m asking a lot of different things, and I don’t expect answers for all of them, though answers would be nice.

I am 19, trying to make my way in the world, and don’t know what to do. Someday I want to own a cafe, but I don’t know how to get to that point. I have a fast food job, probably won’t have enough for rent this month, and can’t go back to my parents, because I know they will be disappointed in me if I do, and I don’t have the mental strength to deal with it. See, I have depression, have for four years. Getting my fast food job took way longer than it should have due to my lack of motivation, and after finally getting it I’m not getting enough hours to pay for my living expenses. Here’s where my problem lies. I need a new job, but even if I manage to get one I won’t get paid in time for rent. Finances have had me more depressed than usual the last couple of weeks, and while I’ve tried to get things done, I haven’t gotten anywhere.

My city doesn’t really have the kind of jobs I’m looking for, it’s a college town, but after a semester I’m not sure college is for me at the moment. I don’t have the money to move, I don’t have the money to stay. I don’t have time to find a new job, i need money for rent. All of this while having almost no motivation due to being overwhelmed by my depression. I don’t know where to go, and try as In might I haven’t managed to come up with any solutions.

Do you have someone you can rely on? Like a friend or someone who can lend you money?

Not really, both of my parents are poor too, and they would be the only ones.

I'm not sure the complete situation you are in regarding college. I do know college offer financial aid (U.S) if you are low income (sometimes they cover dorms). You are 19 so you should be able to use your parents taxes if you ask, to save that college money you get if you apply for financial aid. you could also apply for food stamps to save on food. these two could help with money a bit but idk it really depends. You can also use your own taxes for financial aid if you dont want to go to your parents for their taxes. Depression is going to set you back and thats okay. Dont beat yourself up about it taking longer than it should have to get your job. you got it and thats amazing! For motivation i'm just gonna say its all about small goals, and doing them even if you dont want to. I dont know how to motivate myself sometimes but I know I need to do these things, I have my break downs due to depression and its okay. If you do end up not having enough for rent and have to go to your parents, you should go without caring if they are disappointed and maybe go to a college near them. Having a bachelors degree would help with a back up plan for your cafe or more of a funding plan for your cafe. With a bachelor you could try being an online teacher (so your free to go wherever/do whatever) I think theres an option for associates degree as well and this could be money you use for your real goal to open up a cafe. If you dont go to college then you can try finding a job online as well like those people that do calls or maybe work for amazon since your city doesn't have the jobs youre looking for. Sorry if my grammar sucks and that this reply was so long haha.

If the last option is to go to your parents, id say explain your dream to them and how it would be easiest to save money with them. Most people stay with their parents till 25 or even 26 sometimes so if anything you're way ahead of others and having a dream is something that is amazing in itself. Even if they are disappointed, you'll know you tried your hardest to reach your goal and shouldn't be disappointed. If you stay with them, since you say they are poor you call all apply to food stamps and all that. If you go to college while with them and have financial aid you can get extra money left over from financial aid to save/spend. Hope it helped! also some schools offer therapy that is covered by the financial aid itself because its included in tuition and maybe you could reach out to help with depression. I hope you feel better and get to accomplish what you want to do

Thanks for your reply, it helps a lot

I'm trying to find myself on this world too. I have decided that I have what it takes to become a law student. I am motivation deficit, though. I get bored very easily and have what used to keep me busy was socialising and becoming friends with everyone I met. That has grown old and now I lack the ability to associate with other people. It's hard.

Anyway. Let's talk sometime.
Maybe telling someone more about your dreams will help. I want to hear them, too.