Like all teenagers I have the most idiotic and petty problems ever, so bear with me here. This is also my first post so forgive me if I do something wrong.

I don't see myself as a very emotional person, and to me that's a good thing. While I'd rather not be completely emotionless, most of the time they're just in
my way. I prefer to feel less rather than more as it clears my head and is just much better than having to deal with all of them icky feelings. But when it comes to my best friend(I'll refer to him as E) I feel quite a bit; way too much. He can make me feel sad, happy, jealous, almost the entire array of disgusting and pointless feelings. I feel a lot towards him and although I identify my relationship with him as completely platonic, sometimes I feel confused on whether I like him or not(I'm bi btw). All of these emotions get in the way and I see it as a hinderance. As if I can't show him who I really am because of what I feel around him. The image of me that I've shown him is almost completely wrong and I feel misunderstood. But what if the emotions that I feel from him are actually what I am, and I'm the one who doesn't understand? So I'm asking whether or not these emotions are natural and if they're truly getting in the way if who I really am. Thanks for listening.

I forgot to proofread...

ik how u feel. i kinda lost all emotions to my class mates. once a kid hit me with a dodge ball on my head and knocked my shades off. i had cracken my neck so hard every 1 herd it. i grabbed the ball and before i threw it, the teacher begged me not to kill him.