okay, here's the thing, recently I've been wondering if I should exist. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'm not planing on killing myself, I jsut feel like... not existing, I just want to stay in my room forever, lie in my bed, stare at my wall and just... do nothing forever, I just want to quit life... it's a weird thing I know but... that's how I'm feeling, and why am I feeling like this? Well I am a person who lives to make other people happy, I am happy by making my friends and just everyone around me happy, my reason for existing is making the people important to me happy, but recently i've been feeling like they don't need me anymore, like I'm just something that's there but nothing would change if that something wasn't there... I feel like I am not needed, and if I am not needed, then why should I exist? if no one wants me and needs me in their life, then why should I exist? I feel like if I suddenly disappeared my important people could go on like nothing happened, whenever I go out with them I feel like air, like nothing... and slowly... i started wanting to become nothing... help me... I feel like I lost the purpose of my life... and I dont know how to find it again... I dont even know if I want to find it again, I dont know anything... I have no feelings, all I feel are other people's feelings, I am happy when they are happy, I am sad when they are sad, I am angry when they are angry, I laugh when they laugh, I love the people they love... I am not my own person... I am everyone around me... help... I dont know what to do... I came to this realization just now... I am everyone around me and because I think that everyone around me doesn't need me anymore, I am no one...

I understand. I don't know what my purpose in life is /exactly/, but I know that it's for helping other people. I think that's the reason I'm still on this site, honestly.

That sense of not being needed? I know it well. When you spend your time trying to ensure other people's happiness, sometimes your own emotional needs aren't met. And it's a shitty sense of loneliness, knowing that you have been there for other people but not feeling that they're there for you.

I still have this worry sometimes, so I don't know if I can think of anything to make you feel better about this, but... well. When this sort of stuff is on my mind, I just try to think about what it would be like if it /wasn't/ here.
My little sister wouldn't have her big sister to annoy. My brother wouldn't have his little sister to awkwardly say hi to when we see each other. My elderly neighbors wouldn't have the kid that shovels her driveway during the winter. My school nurse wouldn't have to scold that kid whose shoelaces are always coming untied. The kid who sits next to me in class wouldn't feel my presence there anymore. You know... just simple things. When I think about it like that, it's sort of feels more like a purpose. I don't know what it is, but it's something.

I read somewhere once that for some people, their purpose in life is to have no purpose in life. Becoming, never arriving. Just going. Developing and experiencing. Helping others along the way. Touching other people's lives. Making little differences.
I don't know. It made me feel a little less bad when I read it. I hope it does the same for you.

I think what I'm trying to say here is, you're probably more needed than you think. And you're more of a whole person than you may feel right now.

By the way I just wanted to tell you– you sound like a beautiful person. Like you give so much. I don't know. Thanks for existing. Sorry if I'm being weird. ^^;

I have had a taste of this feeling recently too. My story is that I was pretty motivated in high school. I was in band. I had a lot of fun. When my senior year came around, I started dating this girl. I put more effort into our relationship than anything I had before. So after a year, we stopped dating. We just decided we didn't want to.

After this, I lost my motivation. I had nothing to put my effort into. I am still only just realizing these things. I can tell you one thing though. Existence is worth existing for. I love helping other people, making people happy, even just for a smile. Sometimes you just have to be selfish about it. So what if no one needed me? That could not stop me from wanting people to smile. And someone ALWAYS needs you. So let them know you need them too.

I am sort of a background figure in my friend groups usually. I invite people in. I help people get along. Most of them would probably be just as happy without me, but things would still be different.

The last thing I have to say is that people like me need you. You are the type of person who keeps me in the dollars. People who can ask questions about themselves; people who think and wonder. So thank you, for giving me a reason to exist.