I have a question, i think you guys may be able to answer. Theres this girl i know,a good friend, and well, shes not exactly happy with herself, but then again, no one really is. I thought that she was just like anyother girl who hates her hair and wants longer nails and things like that. Turns out its more.

She hates herself in everyway. her skin, race, color, gender, voice, identity, and sexuality. Whats she wants to become isnt real. And she knows that no matter how hard she tried, she wont get it. She wants the pale white skin, the pretty green eyes, that tall stature, the deep voice, that award winning smile and attitude, be irish and japanese and to become the gay man shes always wanted to be. This however is far from what she truly is (haitian, short, dark, loud, "mean", hatefull)

She tries to go through her days not thinking about it and does the things her other "dream" would like, but it never works and she puts herself back into a depression that lasts months. She goes to a psychologist but they say, theres nothing wrong with her., that she just has unattainable dreams....but personally i think something is just wrong with her. its alright to not like what you are, but to hate it to the point of self mutalation in hopes of becoming a dream, and trying to find a philosophers stone...is a bit much.And as she always says " No matter what i do, ill never truly be happy. i could be a millionare, i could graduate, i could have a family, but i will never truly be happy." shes 18

So i ask you all this: How and what can i do to help her?// or should i not bother with her dreams and show her reality?

Do as much as you can to show her she is awesome. Compliment anything you can about her. Do anything you possibly can to make her feel good about herself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18OAw7EZiag

That's a pooper, I feel u man. :V Lik anubis said, the best u culd do fer her is show her she is appreciated. Tell her that she is beautiful the way she be. Even the cliche things.

Sometimes it's just being there for her that helpz. :w whoop. I have a headache, so short post. Good luck

I think that what you could do is just to be there for her (like Kaori said). Just to have someone can mean alot!
Well... that's really all i have to say for now ^-^'

What a hateful person. No dream is unnatainable, but I can gaurentee she won't be satisfied with her goal if a complete change is what she wants. She's keep dreaming of a better change as soon as she does attain it. This is an inevitable loophole that ultimately leads to darkness.
You should try to get her out of this depression. I'm not sure how, but then again, I'm not a wise being, nor am I some divine spirit. Even I have limits to my powers and desires that sound unattainable. So I know how she feels. But..... Hm, I'm not quite sure how to say this...
GET HER OUT OF THIS DREAM!

Keep complimenting her, even if she denies your compliments deep down I'm sure she'll really appreciate it and feel better about herself ^.^

i do compliment her, telling her that shell be alright tht shes pretty and that things will get better...but painkiller has a point, no dream is unatainable and i do feel like im going in a loop hole with her. guess ill keep trying?

Give her attainable dreams to distract her from her unattainable dream. That might work if all else fails.

tried it, she just keeps saying that theres no point if the dream cant make her happy

Maybe try music? Distracts me from my troubles.

idk anymore nothings working and she seems to be breaking down more...

Ask her why she wants those stuff. Maybe she has a hidden inferiority thingy there. Or perhaps just envy to the highest level. She must have a reason why she wants that. Then you can work around those stuff to turn her to the bright light.

Is just me or her dream is too unusual? But really, no one would love someone who can't even see the good in them. I kinda think it's taking a toll on your friendship.

Well, it never really helps to run away from your problems. Take it from me; I hate myself. And I found that running away from my problems only made things worse. It all comes back sooner or later.
I'd say that she just has to learn the truth. No matter how damn hard it is. She has to come face to face with her problems and while she may be able to change a few things, she'll probably never be able to obtain that goal. If not that, it kinda just sounds like she has really low self-esteem.

she says she wants to be that person cause its her dream and that she has the right to be one. she says she never felt that she was a girl and i get that but there a diffrence between hating ur gender and hating everything down to skin. she dpes have low self asteem and the more i try to show her that wat she want may not be plausible, the more she acts out and tries, despratley, to change who she is and how she is. i wont give up on her but im just scared of what she may thnk or do now.

Is she read too much manga or something? Me, sometime have unusual dreams either like become an alien or ninja. I think the problem here is self-confident. Tell her to accept the way she is, because happiness come from the way she treat herself.

no, she doesnt watch anme, trued it, yes shes low on self confidence. she wants to be that dream to become confident and actually be happy instead of " faking it like the others do when u pass tthem by"

The only thing, I think you can do, is love her for who she is. Or perhaps threaten her of losing your friendship if she continues (this is advisable for only extreme cases). There are really just some things in life that you can't change. Life is unfair. And instead of trying to change herself, why doesn't she just be happy on who she is?

Happiness is just a feeling, it comes and it goes. It's a state of mind. And if you really want to be happy you can just be, you know. Even if you have problems, that shouldn't stop you from being happy. She doesn't have to have "pale white skin, the pretty green eyes, that tall stature, the deep voice, that award winning smile and attitude, be irish and japanese and to become the gay man she's always wanted to be" just to be happy. That is not the measure of happiness. The annoying thing here is that she won't have the dream realized to turn into a nightmare (too bad). You have to make her see that it won't make her happy too. I mean after she got that, so what happens next?

What she wants isn't happiness but contentment. However, contentment often comes from acceptance of things that we can't change and knowing the things we can change.

Sorry for the rant. She's got me frustrated.