>>21 I completely forgot about this.
"ANd was this the heart that told you that you would like to drown every member of this sight."
I actually forgot I even said that. I'm not singular. I'm not all good. I am evil as well as good. Isn't that part of being human?
To drown every member of this sight.I did say that though. I didn't mean that. I never meant it. I'm really sorry. I just felt violated and angry. For years I felt safe coming here...looking for help....trusting people....because I could never find that in my lousy dysfunctional, and incomplete family.
At the same time, I knew full well that the emotions that I was having where irrational. However they weren't going away. So I went to the complaining thread just to vent. And even amidst the rage I still went here because I feel stuck. For so long I have come here.
To recall information when I need it. It's not something I'm always good at. Rather I just get all the emotions out the way by first writing poetically or ranting. That's why I'm recalling this so late.
>> Give me and example of this....honestly like I said that was just a guess.
http://dollars-bbs.org/main/res/1417676164.html
http://dollars-bbs.org/main/res/1332470464.html
Read the second line :(
http://dollars-bbs.org/main/res/1342330419.html
My conspiracy theory faze. But I was trying to understand what's wrong with the world. So I had to be open minded and look into different thing. My emotions got the best of me.
http://dollars-bbs.org/main/res/1366224931.html
No one believes in me. I am a failure.
http://dollars-bbs.org/art/res/1425220210.html
My attempts to join the family. Integrating with the beauty of this site. Loving it more.
http://dollars-bbs.org/art/res/1425846922.html
My attempts at making a return. At apologizing.
http://dollars-bbs.org/literature/#1292656529
http://dollars-bbs.org/literature/#1428193016
A site full of strangers isn't stopping me from making the world a better place.
My own self destructive ways are. I am a mess. I carry it with me every where I got. With each person I meet.
I want to stick with this one group. If you'll allow me to.
>> Why did you come back when you said you never would?
####ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDer THAN WORDS####
All of what I said was just a rant. I couldn't handle my emotions and I lost control. I think you always need to remember this. That I tend to lose control.
I do care. I bare with your discontent...your hatred of me...just so that I can be understood...just so that I can be helped. My favorite super hero is hancock.
I believe I can be like him. I believe I can overcome my adversity. I also believe I'm talented. That I have a lot to offer you.
I believe I can integrate into society
I believe I can be human just like the rest of you..
But then that's up to you.
Am I worth being understood?
Have I ever made you happy?
It's your family.
It's your site.
I am the only stranger here.
The power....yours...not mine.
I hope this is enough to at least clarify things.
IF not...just ask more questions. I will answer as best I can.
The verification code. MUTABLE