I study psychology in university to become... Well, psychologist. I love to study more and more about how humans behave and think. And only yesterday, I found this site. When I was in high school I watched lots of anime. I didn't have lots of friends. Only a few. But I only saw them once a week since they went to another school than I did. So... You can say I was pretty much of a lonesider. And I also have to admit, I felt lonely. It made me angry. I asked myself why nobody wanted me to be in their little "group" of people. I wonder why. Maybe I was too shy? Maybe they thought I was weird. But would that mean that the people in the group weren't weird? What would make them more popular than me?

Society. Society decides what is weird or disgusting, or what is not. It has always been like that. It has even reached the point in which you don't even know anymore what to think yourself. Instead, the society thinks for you. It tells you what is right and what is wrong. And if you speak against them, you will be alone.

I still don't have a lot of friends. Most of my friends moved. And I have gotten used to being alone. I am okay by that. I am different from all the others. That's why they don't want me. Because I do not fit into society.

One of my good friends is a professor of mine. Well I guess society would consider that as "weird", right? After all we are a professor and a student. But I don't see it that way. We are friends.

The first time he invited me to drink coffee he talked to me. He asked me if I was even fine with hanging out with someone like him. After all he was a professor. I said I didn't mind. Why would I? Why would I care about what society thinks? In my opinion he is a nice man. And that's enough. As I said that he just laughed and said I was right. Why would anyone want to belong to society anyways if you can be unique?

This question bothered me for a while.

Why do people want to belong to society? Why do they care about that so much? Even right now I am on this website. And after a long time I feel as if I belong to a group of people. I belong to the Dollars.

But why am I happy to belong to a group of people?

I have studied a little about that. The most logical reason to me is that it has been normal for humans to be in a group of people. Not only for humans. Also for animals. Why? Because it is something like an "instinct". The first humans could not survive if they were alone. After all they had to hunt animals down. And a tiger against one single man would have ended deadly. The same goes for animals. Most can not survive alone. That was the most logical answer to me.

The next time I saw my professor in college I told him that. He just laughed and asked himself if it really is that. He said that it might be a psychological reason not only an instinct. My professor is weird. He is unique. I am aware of that. Yet, he still is one of my only friends. Is it because I don't want to be completely alone? Nowadays I would be able to survive alone. But why don't I want to be alone?

Why do people want to belong to society?

Discuss.

Quick tidbit: being friends with a teacher has never been weird.
It's what your classmates might call "being a teacher's pet", so different terminology, but basically the same thing. It's pretty common, actually, for teachers and students to share social media. That's why teachers sometimes get in trouble if they forget who has access to their photos or past status updates.
The relationship is only weird if you're out buying drinks for each other, because I think once you start buying something for your professor (whether it's a drink, meal, etc), it's considered inappropriate and may even be seen as an act of bribery.

everyone is unique in their own way and try to fit in society. the reason is because humans want to belong in a place, they want to belong in a group. even if someone does not fit in society, they still belong to some place. just because people are different and alone doesn't mean that they don't fit anywhere. On this website are thousands of people from different countries and different cultures that come here together. they found this place, a place where they could fit in because the dollars don't look at where you come from or in what you believe in. this place is also where we belong to, together with society.

Depends on the society.....The society am in, really sucks ass, and if i had a choice to live in the same country but different sizes, i'll go with the small one, its easier, in regards of stores, cities, towns, and life.

That doesnt make sense am sure, so compare America to Japan, sure, the people may act differently and worser depending on your views, as well as many ither tidbits, that just moving to another country, completely different from what you reside would be hard.
Life was hard in the first place, and frankly i would go with Japan, just because how easy it seems to me that you can get something. Maybe not maybe so, but Fuck America, seriously, country full of stupid annoying aggrorant morons that aint new at all.
Fucking cunts, beat tgem all, and burn them all to hell to summon a beast of recreation.

Anyway, fitting in a society is because, beings, sentient or non sentient, are socialable creatures, and everything is better with friends.
"You die without it" No, you just die with regrets, "but what if i cant fit in no matter what?"
Go find another, make a new one, break it, destroy it, kill it, remake it.
Its not a single choice you have, its a decision you have to do whatever.
But the fact that i cant solve most of my own problems, by beating the shit out of 80% of people' i met that are annoying, is because of this damn society.
...One day, sooner or later, i'll snap and that be it. I need to snap sooner, the faster it happens, the less damns and fucks i can give later in life.
Ah, sorry for my rambling btw.

I believe that Humans want to be needed. They want to think they are important cause there are way too many people on earth and if they aren't needed they can be exchanged.

People have always been influenced by other people, meaning that interaction plays a vital part of why people try so hard to fit in when each and every person is unique. To be frank, it's because of the fact that we're all unique individuals. Since no one is really the same, we have created the idea of society. Perhaps there's a certain sense of urgency that we were all born with, because we subconsciously knew that even though we were surrounded by billions of people, we were truly alone in a sense that your body is your own, your mind is your own, your set of character traits are you own, etc. Perhaps it's because we seek approval, because we want to be accepted, because we desire evidence that proves that we really belong here on this earth. Or maybe it is simply because our circuitry demands the presence of another. Whatever it is, it all comes down to this: everyone has a sprinkle of athazagoraphobia (fear of being left out). Whether or not it makes its presence known is really up to the mindset of the individual. After all, we are all products of our own environment (influence from others, hint hint).

in my psych class we're actually on the topic of motivation and goals and there are psychological needs which is the need to be loved and to belong. out desire to be accepted and belong to society is something that we want because thats been given to us since we were little. it makes us feel good. (thats kind of what it says but i relly have no opinion on it)

I feel like that people won't make friends with other people simply because they have no interest in befriending them.
Personally, I don't want friends, or at least, don't feel, motivated to make friends. When kids in elementary school befriended me, I usually only stayed with them so I won't have such a dull time at school. I never actually cared about them. I don't have much concern for what people think about me, or at least, the kids at school. I find it ridiculous how some can be so self conscious. Also, I don't think all people are so self conscious to the point where their own friends are chosen because of their popularity. I think a lot people just aren't interested enough to befriend a lot of other people.

You probably know this seeing as you study psychology but humans are social by nature and to be social you must most of the time fit in with society. So I think that people like you are interesting because you defy that, I am definitely not like that. If I were in your situation I would definitely try extending my friend group as much as possible and always be open to new people so you could find other people like your professor. But this only have answers your question because you then have to answer what is society and how is it built up but remember humans are social by nature because it would obviously raise our chance of survival by staying in packs

>>10 *half answers your question I meant

People want to be accepted into society because they don't want to seem strange. The phrase "normal", is what drives so many people to strive for fitting in. They don't want to be freaks. It's been taught to us that breaking the social norms is bad. Many people don't realize that there are in fact, multiple societies. There is the common one, to which everyone refers to that contradicts itself in several ways. And there are countless societies that have budded within one large society, and so on and so forth.

The fact of the matter is, people just need to realize that the core society is a mesh and clash of so many different people, and that fitting in is nearly impossible when everyone generally has a different opinion. Rather than trying to fit into such a large society, it'd be best to focus on smaller societies that accept and appreciate one another.

Though, I may just be over-thinking it.

Or maybe its just you judging yourself first of all therefore limiting your capacity to think things through since you already "Pre-judged" on how you should be accepted by society as a being. I think I'm almost the same as you are in a way but don't listen to a guy that has been alone for 4 years ever since I moved to Canada. You'll regret it. :D

Humans are social beings. We want to 'fit in' and be like other humans. Thats one reason why people considered things like racism, excluding others from their 'communities' because they were born to a different country. If excluding others can make a person get talked to, some would do it.
Note that this is only my speculation of course, so i'm not actually sure if it can be proven

society think that being a loner is wrong ?. but what's so wrong with becoming an loner ?. being a loner is not wrong, but if you become a loner because someone malicious intent, that is wrong. so do not worry you're not alone.



rather than calling yourself as "different" I prefer to call myself as "special"

There is nothing wrong in finding one's own solitude. There is a difference between being single and being lonely. Imagine if different minds never existed (The HIVE mind) then there is no progress since everyone thinks of the same thing therefore there is no logical argument nor fruitful and innovative discussion there it halts the way to progress.

I don't always be alone . But I don't belong to any of the groups . Even working in groups , I just wish I could do it by myself . And yes , I always ask to work alone but yea , teachers . Sometimes they allow but no sometimes they don't .

I'm going to school everyday just to sit in a class of 31 people that only have about 4 people liking me . Others either hate / jealous or don't care .
I might not be in any of their groups but that actually gives me a lot of free times . Plus , I can put up smiles to everyone , anyone (whether it's real or fake) so they can never be openly hating me .
Yes , there are also a lot of people liking me but also a lot of people hating me .

People call me crazy (despite topping the year each time) . They call me stupid , weird , ugly , fucked up , bitch bla bla bla and much more .
But do I care ? NO AHAHAHAHHA
Because when they call me stupid , I'm actually smart with academic-related stuffs . When they call me ugly , I just reminded them on how many people had called me cute . I mean , come on , you couldn't get more than me , girl .

About being crazy , weird and fucked up ... Well it's actually a pleasure to be called that . Why ? Cause no one else can be a s unique as me , beaches . :P
(Being a bitch , they say fuck you too , I say)

So I had wondered why I can't fit in perfectly in . But sooner or later I no longer question it . It's my right to choose if I wanna fit in or not .
I'm already as wonderful as I am I don't need to be somebody else .

they laughted at me because i'm different.
i laughted at them because they are same

I think we humans are contradicted, we want to have friends and to belong in a large group but don't at the same time, like, when you're in a large group you get used to do what everybody wants, you do the same things, start liking the same things and have a common opinion and so you start losing yourself as an individual. We all want to be the same but we want to be different. You want to be special and different but also to find people like you, how's that possible? how can we even get that?

/bump

Maybe you are thinking too much. It is enough to have only a few friends. At least in my opinion. I find it cute from you that you are thinking so much about what your professor said. If he's not too old I think I might secretly ship the two of you ;)

Izaya much?

Meh, I kinda just flow. I don't waste much time thinking about what society thinks. Just follow your gut.

Typing out your thoughts to complete strangers online is sure to make a difference.

I- Oh, well then, the replies tho.

I am also friends with my teacher. It's weird, and I agree with you. I am better friends with my teacher than I am with some school people. I also don't really belong. I desired to belong once. I mean, everyone wants to belong. Now why?

Hmm, it's pretty interesting. I can't lay my finger on it, but I think the same: we can't survive without each other. Maybe it's just that we don't want to be alone. Loneliness can harm things like intellectuality or our health. Feeling belonged kind of motivates us all. Maybe we want to belong so we still have hope that we are not alone.

Any other thoughts?

I think that you're just introvert, so a person that don't like to be in too big society and prefers to do things alone. Of course, you need contact with people, what everyone before me mentioned, but you don't need a lot of them. I think it's for the best, because of at least two reasons. One, it's way easier to keep in touch and make stronger relations, when there's not too many people to share your secrets and stuff, and two, people mostly are sneaky bastards, so sadly there's not a lot of good people in our surroundings, and we definitely want to be friends of the good guys. And about being friends with your professor, I think the only importance is that you like and feel good with each other, and nothing else matters.

Society is just a word that people use to describe what SHOULD be seen fit or right. Nobody is able to actually morph into this concept that they themselves have come up with.

Society is just a bunch of added-on ideas. The more people who like an idea, the more other people start to think it's right.

There's actually a type of brainwashing that has to do with restating ideas to make them seem correct even if they are completely wrong. Majority wins.

But wouldn't a good society be promoting things like telling the truth? Yet everyone lies.
What about no texting while driving? That still happens.
Being courteous to others? There's bullying.

But bullying often occurs when the victim is seen as "different". However, it also arises when two people are "too similar".

The idea of society is completely impossible to accomplish. There's always people you can't win over and things you can't do, but we try nonetheless. It's in our nature to want the things in life that are close to unachievable. Why?

Because, in the end,

normal's boring.

It does not necessarily mean that if everyone thinks that a certain thing is right then it is. You should know yourself, being created with a degree of consciousness, if it is right. It works both ways with truth.

I love Psychology

What other people think of us are none of our business. This is cliche, but it is what we think of ourselves that matters most.
At least, that's my view of things.
My optimism and indifference towards society itself made me happier in many ways actually...
There's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.... it's all up to what you want to do in order to feel happy.
Why try to fit in? What makes an individual unique from each other are their differences.

>>32 Actually what matters most is how you perceive the external which reflects what you are internally thus creating your world based on your personality.

"You do not attract what you want, you attract what you are."-someone from somewhere

Just reading this thread... Everything is so brainfart. Wtaf I can't even keep up with this like how much are you even messing with my brain

People also seek one another out in order to affirm their sense of self. Having people around to agree with you validates your beliefs and identity, while having people around to disagree helps you evaluate yourself and really think. From what I've experienced, people who feel they could go on without others know themselves incredibly well. They don't need to have others around them to form an identity, and most of the time they feel no need to be defined by relationships. They know who they are, and to them that's what's most important.

I think there are individuals and social individuals I don't think people bond talk or even share on the same level anymore as they did a hundred or even 50 years ago anymore and because of rights movments computers and money in the future were all fucked girls like to be bisexual now days no one really vents anything anymore and generally everyone is into drugs it's disgusting the next generation the year 2000 generation is in a vast majority growing up with no thoughts to anyone but themselfs for themselfs all the greed and lust and selfish ways to be are becoming the only ways to get by now days I can't help but think that most people with wealth acquire it by other ppl suffering and with the. G 20 nations wreaking war all over in the name of humanitarianism I can't help but feel betrayed because all this shit is such a big out of controll problem in our country's and it will never be adresses because all the money is being syphoned to war and lies in far off places while all the inequality and suffering could may be actually be dealt with first before forcing our way into other ethnic problems cause let me tell Ya mujahadin Gaza israel and palistine Afghanistan and all that terrorist bull has been going on for cunturies not just now and now everyone's making it out of controll when it used to be isolated the Gaza war has been there before Israel was a country even the governments over there change but the people never will so how are those governments the voices of there people and why are Canada and u s even in the middle east it's all just political hocus pocus to rape tax dollars that aren't spent on anything good that can't be traced that will never be accounted for and accountable by anyone our world now days is fucked and terrorists are bad but as a pshychologist won't you agree that more dead civillians from our planes bombs will just create more UN fair disaster in this conflict and more hate towards us westerners cause we blew up someone's family and just create more mad terrorists screaming the west is evil ? It's really never gonna end and we will eventually be caught up in it and the whole time the few individuals who decided this for us willbe far from it while we suffer i can rant for days about how society does not exhist anymore were all just individuals now being taken for a ride by other individuals who care for nothing but themselfs

In my opinion, I'd think it be pretty scary of everyone were blended with society. Because , if that so happens, then what separates you from everybody else? What makes you, YOU?

Humans are afraid of being lonely. We need an outlet to share ATLEAST a few of our thoughts/ideas/questions. If you don't , well you can look at the psychopaths stuck in prison as a result. Even if you think you have no one, you do. There's gotta be someone or somewhere where you can express yourself. Your professor, relatives, and even this discussion/ thread.

I like it 37 people aren't generic like that by nature we want to be diffrent from one another to have identity the fundimental truth that shows us society is just a magic word with no meaning because I think society is just a public opinion of individuals as a whole the world is to diffrent to be a society as a country as well so just what the hell does the word society even describe ? I'd rather say public or community or a part of each other

I have it now society is a word made for psychologists to describe there own socialogical anxiety at the fact there job is to know something as complex as an individual while knowing they will never truly know or believe anything outside of there own body and mind .

Shigure ... I want you to know I'm not picking on you or saying psychologists are bad or anything so keep studying I'm sure you'll make a fine one some day .

I think it also has to do with our biology/genetics. We've always wanted to be with someone whether its another individual or in another group.

Yes it's our animal nature to be a part of a family group our instinct to have sex and multiply that makes us seek companions that I understand but society just what the hell is it .... ??? What does it describe in its word ??? Do you need a common goal to fit into a society do you need a pre requisite or can I be a part of it just because I exist ???

Be careful of what friends you make, They might be your enemies or worst than that.It's not that you choose your friend, but think before you decide.

Well in my case I do not also have lots of friends and I can consider myself as a loner type. I also watched lots of anime which makes me weird in the eyes of others and even in my family. I don't care what they think of me, I don't need them (except for my family) I am just being true to myself.What's the use of having friends if none of them you can call a "true friend" Its up to you if you'll let society choose your path.

Society is really just someone's idea of perfection. To be frank, it's really just pointing out the imperfections and shoving it down everyone's throats like "YOU HAVE TO BE THIS OR THAT" or something.

Liking something makes you want to find a group that also likes it. But when you can't find someone who does, the standard reaction is to imitate what everyone else is doing. Even if it's stupid.

We humans want to belong.

Like animals, there is safety in numbers.

Just be optimistic.
It isn't weird darling,it's just what and where you belong to.
If you can't have friends with your same age but can make friends with older than you, then that's better than having nothing.
If you badly want friends with your same age. Start making a change like practicing how to make friends and know their types so they'll like you.
But afterall, If I were you, I would rather choose those with older than me. I prefer mature humans around me.

Well i i have like only 2 good friends and that's about it. all the other people I know are kind of fake and i don't like them. It's not weird to not fit into society this days anyway. For example in my class nearly everybody aims to high while I try think realistically about everything while my classmates don't care about anything.

People just want to feel like they belong to something bigger than themselves. It's to fill our need of wanting to feel accepted and needed by others.

No matter why u were alone or why u r alone u aint alone anymore.

You joined the dollars
We are one family

I think some people realize that oblivion will happen. They realize that we're just a collection of chemicals that happens to believe otherwise. The ability to be remembered by other bunches of chemicals would be like escaping that oblivion

I honestly don't WANT to be accepted by society. because then I'll have to thick and act and talk and BE as a human like everyone else. and my favorite quote is from the Incredibles " …I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can have powers so that Everyone can be super! and with everyone Super.. * evil laugh* no one will be. " you don't become special. you don't become an individual. I want to decide how to live, how to raise my kids when I have them, I want to use my rights I was given ( American dollar member btw) I don't WANT to fit in with society, IWANT to be me.

<< 50 Izaya yes. Shigure, Izaya's right. you have us.

I guess it is because people don't want to be alone... But that would only cause the question why people don't want to be alone. Maybe because it is human nature? I don't know...

This must belong to personal section -_-

So0oo. ..... You bring up a question that I was aware in middleschool. I felt like I had to live up to my friends...... I only just started highschool. My sister gave m6 like a 20 mins lecture on how I should join clubs....I wasn't the social type. I was to oñ the lone side. She gave me a lecture on how I had to join clubs to get into university. I know the is true in some ways but she was basically telling me that everything was centered around school and doing your best. I am a drawer and I do a lot of art and play the piano. I don't like how wevryone fusses over my talent so I keep it to myself. I learned through experiences that everything in one way or another is related to school. I think society is based on school. If your not good at it your going to go nowhere in life. I hate that. My sister always tell me to do this and that. She wants me to voulentee3r faster so I can get my hours......I wanna do it because I actually wanna help people. Find an organization that actually helps people

they said if you change yourself you'll change the world.
but that's complete lie.
when people judge somebody.
it's become a fixed idea and an impression that last
a loner is forced to stay loner
if you do you'r best at something and stand out
that'll only get used as fodder for criticism
those are the rotten rules of the kingdom of society!

shigure san
its good for you to have thinking like that.while most people in the society dont.thats make you special.like what the other dollars said, its good to just have few friends that can fit with you.the society not always right.besides,i myself dont really like the society here in earth.i only like a few people.the society are stupid.im talking in terms of intelligence,not academics.

shigure san.
you know how to 'think'.
be proud and continue work hard on your psychology,maybe youll find something that can help the world one day.when that time come,dont forget youre a Dollars.

>>50 I totally agree with Izaya-san. And since you mentioned to only found this website a while ago... I guess welcome to the Dollars, Shigure :D You now belong to this big family :3

You bring up some very interesting points, ones that I myself have thought of as life progressed. If you wouldn't be opposed to it, I would like to further discuss with you

My own personal view on the topic is something you already pointed out: Instinct. In the past it was simply necessary to be in groups for survival as you stated. Back then, if one was different they were a liability to the group as a whole and was expected to do more harm by disrupting critical work as opposed to falling in line and doing as expected. Fast forward into the future, and that deep seated wariness is still present among humans today. Those who are "Abnormal" to society are frowned upon. As humans we are creatures of habit, and many of us don't wish to entertain new thinking or new ways of doing things because we like life as it is, with others who think the same way.

To be unique or innovative is dangerous

As such, many people suppress their inner creativity. They fear being outcasted and losing what they value. It's better to be safe than sorry, right? No need to rock the boat and change what's not broken? That's sufficient if one wishes to simply live from day to day. It's a VERY effective method, if one could call it life at all.

To submit to that life, one must accept that they will have very little impact on the world. Another face, another name, move on. To truly LIVE in life, one needs to break out of their comfort zone. One must accept a life of discomfort, and make their ideas and views known, or nothing will ever happen. This method of survival we have been trained by our ancestors into following, especially in the world we know today, is slowly causing the human spirit and human ingenuity to fade into something nonessential in life. A great many of us are expected to...fall in line. I will leave you with this question to ask yourselves:

Will we live a life of complacency and simply move forward? Or will we truly live life, as one to be remembered?

That choice can only be decided by you, and you alone.

Shigure, if you wish to discuss this further and have kik or Line, then feel free to message me on either one. My kik is Secryte, and my line is tracethecapricorn. Until then

I agree with the people who are saying that it's instinct. It's natural for people to want to be with other people. Without be told, a child will want to be with their parents, with other family members and friends, so I think it has to be at least partially due to instinct. There may be other reasons for it as well though, survival and instinct may not be the full picture. I mean, adults can survive on their own, so theoretically at that point they shouldn't need anyone else, but they still continue to get close to others. Maybe it's instinctual and psychological.

Maybe, just maybe, it could be the need to learn from others. I mean people learn how to walk from their parents,we learn to talk the same way. I think people have developed a need to rely on others and learn from them when we are babies.

Personally, I've never really belonged, I hated it. Maybe it was my misanthropy. Maybe I was meant to be alone. I hated how I craved to belong, and I still hate it. Maybe it's just human to want to belong somewhere.

This is a really good thread.
Bump

I feel I'm quite like you in the way that when was younger I had no friends and even still now my friend group is small. That said I've been diagnosed with ASD so this kinda explains it.

As for your question I don't believe there's any one reason like you when I found some friends I was happy and slowly learnt to hide my ASD and fit into society. The best reason I can come up with is that we're veery insecure and constantly need the approval of others. The Dollars my be anonymous be if we do good we'll still give each other a pat on the back. Back when you were alone this professor most likely recognised your effort and that offered you comfort. Which lead to a sense of kinship between the two of you. I may only be senior highschool be psychology is a great hobby of mine.

If you want to discuss this further email me at dee.mc.dollars@gmail.com or kik at Dee.MC

Hope this helped 😋

I see no reason to belong to a majority, I don't live a "normal life" nor would I want to...

When you limit yourself to the majority you limit yourself to the confines and the opinions of society.

Minorities (not referring to skin color, sexual attraction, so on and so forth, I'm speaking in general) do not fall within these limitation, and in these we are bound by only ourselves...

Have you heard of Maslow's hierarchy? Its basically a 5 stage hierarchy of human needs. Maslow says that we, as people, are motivated to reach the highest level. I'm sure you'll find your answer there.

people want to know that they matter that is why.

Shigure,

First, I appreciate you sharing some of your story, while also presenting a very intriguing question. Please take the time to read what I have to say...

So, why do people want to belong to society? Instead of looking at the majority of people as lesser, or baser people simply following their instinct as some (such as Watcher) believes, maybe consider that they’re on to something. Yes, something that's been going on for thousands of years, but I believe there is more than just a physiological reason that humans live in society.

Let me explain a bit more. I sometimes THINK too much. I get inside my own head and it can be difficult to escape the twisted, churning, never-ending train of thoughts, the second guessing, the sometimes incapacitating morass of THOUGHT. Being with PEOPLE ends that. Society can take us outside of ourselves in an important way. On some issues clarity can be found by talking to others when thinking alone couldn't solve the problem.

I hope you can see what I'm saying. COMMUNITY is vital to "truly live life" not a rejection of society. Of course, I'm not saying society is all good; there is certainly a level of distrust and even disgust among many groups towards those who are different from them. But I'm sure I don't need to go into all the PROBLEMS with society--today we have no shortage of such criticisms. What I do need to say is that society does not entail a stifling of creativity or lack or innovation. It doesn't breed anymore fear or stupidity than being alone does.

I argue that we NEED relationships to realize our full potential as humans. That doesn't mean we have to conform to society, but we should be a part of it. Does that make sense? We are social creatures, that’s the way God made us.

It’s important to be OK alone, and essential to have your own attitudes, opinions, and ideals (IDENTITY) independent of society. But what good is it if you don’t exercise your strengths among others!

So let’s all learn to be better social creatures and improve the society we are in (right, DOLLARS?)! I wish you the best of luck in both your social life and your education, Shigure. Enjoy the friends you have, and make some new ones :D

Short answer to a long question - people want to belong to society because we're individuals against a aggregation. With the polarised world we have currently, if you're not 'with' a group, you're against it. Few still believe in 'grey areas' because it is so much more simple for us to label things as 'wrong' or 'right when there are so many events in the world that make little sense.

The same concept is what makes people try to fit in with society. When one doesn't fit, society marks you as an outsider - then it will seem that it's you, one lone person, against everyone else. I'm not saying that everyone fears being singled out, but when we are at the point where asocial people are mistermed as 'antisocial', what can we do?

Everyone wants to fit in out of fear of being singled out just like "Kiseki" said. Being alone isn't a bad nor is it good. It's a choice for some while others are forced by circumstances (like you with your friends moving away and such). Don't call yourself different because there are a ton of people exactly just like you that have the exact same interests just put some effort into finding them.

Bumping this to get the stupid threads that don't belong on the Main Board off. Now to be on topic, I can partially relate to this minus the fact that I don't consider people friends.

Everyone in my life including family is only an acquaintance in my opinion. I've never liked being in groups of people and I've never like being around large crowds. People in general just annoy me. Society and its trends and it's ability to have people think in a single mindset is annoying and whenever I brought up a subject like this before others were quick to judge.

I can't even say I fit into a grey area. Even then those type of people would annoy me. I think I just hate humanity as a whole because of how stupid and greedy we have become.

>>5
Arrogance and Ignorance are products of Society. You hardly even had a stance on this thread at all. Instead you just raged?

I just like watching all these sheep-ple go with the herd. Having no capacity or guts to decide for themselves or go against the matrix. I guess it is quite comfy to lead such dull lives and not having the need to think for themselves. Ignorance is such a bliss. I must've have been a wolf in my past life since I never had been one to follow but always acting on my own, for my own survival. That might include the need to eat others.

Life itself is evil. The difference between you and me is that I know that in order to survive, then there is that necessary evil that I should do. I got tired of being able to do nothing and just following. Now I shall embrace the fact that I evil. The faster you embrace this idea that you should only serve yourself and yourself only, the easier life will be.

>>77 Kyu-senpai
But also the lonelier life will be, it's not about being easy, it's about taking the hard in stride and standing above it, become the outcome that makes others think "They rose above it, I can too" be an inspiration make others want to be better. Don't just accept that you're evil, because you aren't, the thought isn't original, in fact, originality itself isn't original, that ideal has been about for centuries, Trying to be original is pointless, instead just be you, don't worry about anyone else thinking anything, just worry about what you personally want, and if it's still to be "evil" as you call it, then so be it, but don't blame a situation.

>>78 Kakuai

I am not trying to be original. I am just saying that life itself is evil. For our survival we kill other species, we take advantage of other people's weaknesses, we lie, steal, cheat our way to the top thus "to live" is evil. The faster you accept this idea, the earlier you adapt on how to forge on ahead with life, the better your chances of survival. In the end we all die alone. Life has no meaning itself, it is how you utilize your "living" time which in the end will give your life "meaning" at the end when we die. What have we accomplished during all these "living times" we had? Did we do something great while we were alive? Thus if you want to give your life meaning then joining this group and doing something for the world for any unselfish cause will be the ultimate gratification of your time.

or at least somebody said something like that...

>>78 kyu-senpai
Life isn't evil, there are necessary evils in everything, but the good outweighs the bad, not all people take advantage, or lie, or cheat, or steal, there are those that do, but more often than not, it's a person trying to stop that, which is what this whole organization is about, helping people, to stop that "evil" those who simply live to help others are also the opposite of that, just, and just because someone can't afford to do things for people all the time, or don't trust people due to past experiences, doesn't make them evil, it makes them normal. Accepting that you're evil unless you help others isn't a lifestyle or a truth in any form, it's an opinion, granted it can be a really good outlook for those looking to better mankind, or to show compassion, but it isn't what life is about, it's connections, Family, friends, fun, and responsibility. A perfect blend, of what's right and what's necessary, you don't have to dedicate your life to helping others for it to be a full life.

There could be many reasons why people would want to belong to society. I believe that one of the reasons may be due to a degree of unawareness or even lack of understanding of the society that they reside within. A society is (official definition) the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community, but in order for people to obtain high awareness of its influences, purpose, and their individual purpose for residing within that society, they must learn to view the world or at least their life from a 3rd person point of view. They must learn to see as if they do not belong, or if they were but a mere piece to a bigger puzzle (which we all are in some way); without awareness or understanding, people will view their society and everything that the society has influence over as "normal", even if the society may have reign over their lives. Another reason may be acceptance. Accepting something, even if unwanted, sometimes creates ease. Usually the individuals who do not try to fit into society or what is seen as "normal" by the individuals who are unaware of their society and its affects are shunned, for they are seen as abnormalities. I am sure no one would like to be seen as abnormal, so some individuals may act upon and follow what is seen as normal, but within reality, what is normal? In my opinion, nothing is normal. Everything is unique, for we all see life in a different way; for us to see everything in life as the exact same, what are we other than copies of each other? Unfortunately becoming a copy is one of the downfalls of following society to a high degree, for its influences will become a major part of your life, and you may even follow them without question. What makes us all different though is the ability we have to see ourselves and the world differently and form our own opinions, thoughts, way of life, personality, (etc.) Actually, since any society is merely people living together, we are all inevitably a part of society, unless we can individually find somewhere to be alone and disconnect from everyone. No people = no society. I am sure everyone has their own reasons as to why they would like belonging to a group, but it is up to them to look within themselves and find that reason, because no one else can truly answer why others may want to belong to any group better than the person themselves can.

well, i dont have much friends too but you know its kinda tiring to try to fit in a society where no one even cares about you .....and i can say being different is good because youre not every body else who live their life trying to fit in

Bump

Suit yourself on that thinking.. and wait until you've grown up.. and then talk to me again about your idealism. You are not a plant that feeds on natural nutrients to say that you do not need to take advantage of other species for survival.

You know what I don't get? Why this is such a large topic. Like honestly, I am sick of my friend talking about this stuff too, acting like they figured out the key to unlock the universe? Pretty boring actually. Also, why must anyone care about writing a large topic on how they feel the same way and how they are 'different' from everyone else? Because really, if you all believe you are different and are not at all the same as everyone else, why am I constantly seeing the most similar posts over and over again? Because you are all the same. You all probably have similar morals, interests, so forth. So basically what i am saying, now this may seem oh, so shocking. You have you're own community, group, however you want to call it. So no, you all are not different, yet feel the same way and have the same experiences, morals, ect.
Because you 'outside the box' group of people are the same.

speak for yoself. Don't talk about other people like you know them. Seeing words like "all probably" seems like you yourself are unsure of what you are talking about. Stop pretending. If you want to be one of the hive minds then by god go for it. No one is stopping you. This is here to share your outlook in life. Maybe some people share similar ones, not totally similar but also not totally different. So go vent somewhere else. People here are sharing what they called "philosophy" and "life principles". Go jump to other threads if you're just venting. This ain't the place for it "Bruh".

i just dont get it why people are so worried about why they are hear your hear that is what matters.

What are the characteristics that makes a human being social?

>>88 what do you mean "hear"?? Bruh spell check first if you want people to listen to what you're trying to say..

No one will take you seriously if you can't even use the right words "Bruh".. just saying..

I'm just having an opinion like everyone else. The reason for saying all probably is because I do not know these people, it's not like I was excluding myself.

"opinion is like an asshole, everyone's got one."

"People are assholes just like you"

In my opinion, the makers of society is ourselves behavior.
and that behavior was choosing the person which considered as friends

Fuck people

chào mọi người, có ai người việt ko vậy ????? trong wed có 1 mình chán dễ sợ

Sociaty sucks,ur difrent they dont like you? So what, we all have to be normal?no sense...

well I used to not have friends due to me being socially awkward but now I found some people with the same interest, i'm also taking a band class and there is a lot of fun people, I don't fit in their group but I still hang out with them.

>>94 stop venting, since you obviously suck and don't know what you are talking about. Go back to school and try to learn something useful for a change.

Humans live in societies because they are a parasitic species. They are drawn by the desires to live a comfortable life, to enjoy themselves as much as possible, to be the 'winners' in life, however, unfortunately, for there to be winners, there must inevitably be losers. Humans gain in life by trampling over the weak to become stronger. Therefore, societies exist to provide comfortable lives for the strong by utilizing the weak as pawns.

>>101 What would happen if the weak became strong? Would society collapse, or would it change entirely?

Life is ugly. Everyone is fake. No one will ever accept someone else because the 'someone else' is different than the others. People can be sh*its like this (sorry for bad words).
I hate this world.

No one accepted me. I'm always alone. But the Dollars helped me to be happy a little. I dont know if what i said has to do with the subjects but yeah thats wt i wanted to say.

>>103 You're just negative that's why you thought that. -_-
But well, Dollars is a great help for you, then Congrats.

Many people are the same as you.I was or am lonely as well.But once I become brave to join them and break the wall,the society can accept me.So,don't be shy.

>>86 Yo, Creed, I think I see what your getting at here (unlike the rude Kyu-Senpai). A lot of these comments seem to say something along the lines of "I'm glad I'm not in society because those people are sheep who act fake in order to fit in."

I think this is a misunderstanding of society. 1) Some people in the popular crowd really are being themselves--they just happen to fit in naturally with that group. 2) Any group of friends can be considered a society, even if they aren't following mainstream culture. 3) In a broad sense we are all probably following the vast majority of standards society sets. Do you say please and thank you? Do you have table manners? Do you try not to interrupt others when they are talking? Say excuse-me? Do you follow any social/cultural norms? And if so, is that bad? Does it make you a sheep? Of course not! It's ok to like and to do the things society asks of us. Just make sure you have your own identity outside of society.

Society is in its own rights everyone the word i think you should use better for this idea is main cultural media which follows the lines to push the agenda and give ideas for ex. "sex will make you cool/man/adult ect." which causes moldable minds to follow that path or deal the pain generally shaping their personality that way if they stay that way for long terms

well i think it's okay
you don't have to be "friend" with anyone near you
just think it "connection" for you to survive in this rotten society

May I ask, is it true that you can tell so much about a person by just looking him/her at the eye? I personally find it completely ridiculous.

I would be your friend if I were to have met you. I am in almost a similar position as you. I think we want companionship, us humans. Always being alone and no one bothering to talk to you drives most people mad. I think society is a context. A context in which we base everything in. There are outliers here and there, nothing wrong with that. They just have another "context". But then again, who's to say the context is real. It is a context within a context within a context and so on, that we build life around. Society is a context. If you get what I mean. Just like saying something, there are different contexts of understanding it. Being popular is one of them. For one, they could be thinking in terms of hierarchy. Some people are just being themselves. In another context, it is animalistic instinct and "popular" is just a label. What is popular anyway? Everything is subjective based on the context we understand it under. With that said, I would like you as a friend anyway. If you were to be so willing. I'm not going to beat around the bush to say that. I've been in so a similar position and shyness is not going to help me by a mile. Sorry if I'm being weird. Contact me or something? (being weird now...*sigh*) Not being wanted is something I relate to and lately, people who feel the same are not in abudance... hahaha.

In a nutshell, people want to be accepted. Not sure what exactly the root of this is (I have theories, but I haven't put a lot of research into it), but we've always been taught, whether it was meant to be taught or not, that you need others around you, and in no way can you be alone (this is probably just instinct). I've often been told that you don't need to care about what others think, but a lot of times people who say that still care on some level -- it's hard not to care.
When you're a kid, you don't care a whole lot about society or anything, but you know it's something people expect you to care about, just by nature. Around your teens, it kind of hits you that society is bullshit, and just humanity's general expectations of how people should be is stupid. However, it's almost written in your mind that that's what you're supposed to do. Not wanting to live up to everything society asks of you (because it's stupid and most of it makes no sense), but not wanting to disappoint people or be alone or anything like that... This is why most people hate being in their teens. After all that conflicting shit, you figure out that it's pretty damn hard to completely live your life far far away from society -- there's too much of it.

So, the major reasons of why people 'join' society (in my opinion):
Acceptance
It's what they've been taught
Too much pressure from others, or just society as a whole
It's too hard to get away from it (not that they give up, it's just too much of a majority)
Herding effect (You probably know about this, but in case you don't look it up. I don't want to take up more space here.)

I hope that shed some light on this in some way. Please note that ths is just my opinion.

Humans are herd animals.

Im not a psychology student but rather ahh well, anthropology major. i suppose since i've been reading, watching and judging people my whole life my answer would be, Humans don't want to be alone. they don't want to live and die at this world unnoticed. there will always be that desire for acknowledgement and belonging.
no one wants to be alone.

Bump

@thequeen as a fellow anthropology major i couldn't agree more, humans have always been weak and reliant upon each other why change now? In fact we can't change back, as the majority of society are dependent now.

i guess because being liked and belonging feels good. it makes us happy to get complimented and when someone has the same opinion as us. it reassures us that our ideas are accepted because the society agrees. people want somewhere to belong. outcasts disrupt order that society created. when someone goes against the unspoken rules that the body has established they arent treated nice. so people choose to try to fit in. people try to do good and connect with those around them. society is a system where people agree that certain things are good and others bad and decide that these are the "established" rules that everyone follows and it works smoothly. having a connection to someone or a group of people is something i think is an innate earning, we want to be loved and we want to belong. and thus the society tells us how to achieve that.

To ensure, or atlest raise the posibility, of survival, being that the prime reason that even really primitive creatures like the sponge group themselves. It's an instinct, and it is hard to go against one.

I like solitude. I feel in power and control of everything I do and it appears that I'm growing more and more independently because all the administration matters, school works are done by me without any guidance from any friends.

I'm not totally close to the world and still can smile and live in the society even without belonging to any group.
When I do need help in asking for directions or questions about studies, I just ask any random person without shame because I figured that there is no string attached, no feelings but only work. If they help, then fine. If they don't help me, its fine because we can always find from the internet.

I don't do things to fit in and belong to a group. It doesn't reap me any benefits at all but more liabilities and problems. Being alone is good in my opinion. You get to be your own Queen and less problems to deal with. You don't even need to worry about backstabber coming from the person you are closest too.

I live my life in solitude and it appears that I can survive independently and perfectly fine.

This is pretty cool thread to.

And for humans, we instinctively want to belong in a flock. It's natural for us to feel the need to fit into the gigantic flock that is society. It the way nature raised us and is like an evil habit that we developed in our primordial days when it would have been necessary

I like being lonely too tbh. Ever since I was in pre-k my teachers said that I would separate myself from the others instead of getting friends. Anime came in when I was 9, and that made me even more secluded. And I hate society too, how people decide what's cool and what's not cool and other people join in just because they said it.

Ive always wanted to know why they do that, but just when I thought I figured them out, something contradicts the idea. Maybe they just want protection from people that want to hurt them, I dunno. Either way I like being alone and I kinda plan to keep it that way.

"When you meet a person you aren't meeting them, you are meeting their representative" some person somewhere said

Well, some people might think you just don't want to and just leave you alone, I, sometimes, want to befriend someone, but don't think they would like to talk to me or hang out with me or anything, I think I am gonna be some nuisance for them and just wait so they talk to me, this way I feel much more comfortable on talking and stuff, so I end up doing nothing about that and just wait.
I don't know for most people, but, yeah, some might be like me too, and won't go for you to insert you on the group, and are gonna wait for you to go for them.

After reading all of this, i cant help myself but think humanity its just so damn mysterious and complicated, makes me want to hang myself, so glad i'm not realy human to begin with, to someone like me, being lonely is a cure...

Society is the worse place you can belong to.Not that many groups of society sucks ass many will make fun of you and bring you down.Better be a one man gang and be happy

bump of potential discussion