Have you ever wondered why the depression rates amongst teenagers, especially girls, have gone up in the past several years? Well maybe it is because of the outrageous gender expectations in our everyday media. Do you not feel like its a little over the top seeing yourself or your loved ones aimlessly pursuing the look of those fake, airbrushed models? Everywhere we go and everything we see has the same ideology hammered into our head:

YOU MUST BE BEAUTIFUL FOR SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE.

Sure, it does not say to your face: you are ugly etc. However, think of all those in humanly slim models, with such flawless face, basically telling us normal teens “you are not good enough”. Of course we will be nothing compared to them. They were transformed into monsters thanks to technology. Sadly, we do not realize that. We starve ourselves, cut ourselves, plaster ourselves with make up, work out and hurt our bodies to try to be like those models, ignorant of the fact we will never reach the beauty of a monster.

So fight against it. Use your own way to lower depression stats.

I will not put a cheesy quote like “you are already beautiful”. Why? Because your look are not necessary. You are talented enough. You do not need to rely on something as superficial as looks.

Double post, much.

oh sorry. it was an accident lol

Thats craziness but true.

Thats craziness but true.

Thats craziness but true.

Thats craziness but true.

Could you go ahead and delete that double-post before someone comments on it and such an action isn't available?

Just click the "[Del]" to the far right of your name line.

Eh, I suppose social media is just one reason of many for depression among teenagers. Also, some changes aren't bad; working out is good for the body, and make up compliments your natural beauty. Just don't do it to an extreme, such as starving to get that 'perfect' weight and don't make any drastic changes to your diet, as that can hurt you as well. So yeah, just thought I'd toss in my two cents.

Yet other people do.

Humans are designed to make snap judgements based on very little data. If you saw an animal with big sharp teeth, you would not have to waste valuable time checking the other features to see if it is dangerous, you would assume it is. It is impossible to resist judging people in this same way. You automatically make judgements about the way people look. The one thing you can control is how much you let those judgements affect your behavior towards them.

Basically, you can't pay no attention to your appearance and say that you don't need to rely on looks. There is a big difference between changing your appearance and starving yourself. If I go to an interview for a COO wearing shorts and a t-shirt, it doesn't matter how qualified I am, they won't hire me. Depending on the business, they might not even interview me.

You have to change your appearance to get ahead and work the system. Maybe that isn't exactly right, but that's how it works. Sure, maybe you are a nice guy, but if you have messy hair, tattered clothes, etc, people don't have the time to get to know you, and will simply judge you based on those traits. It makes some sense. If you had to sit down and talk to each person you met before you could think anything about them, even something as simple as, 'He seems nice' (which is also a judgement based on appearance), it would take a long time, longer than we have.

However, when you try to drastically change your appearance to suit what other people think looks good, that's a problem. In the big picture, putting on dress clothes or fixing your hair isn't a big change. However, changing your entire lifestyle is. You will never be beautiful to everyone. Everyone has different things they find beautiful in a person, hence the saying, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.'

Other people will never be satisfied with how you look, so all that hard work that goes into pleasing them is not likely to have a verifiable reward. However, if you make your own definitions of beauty, you are much more likely to please yourself than others. That is the big difference between 'changing your diet' and 'starving yourself'. One results in a verifiable benefit (healthier organs, clearer skin, etc.) and one is based on something less verifiable, like people.

You will have to make yourself look good to someone else's standards to get ahead, but you'll never have to go as far as the media would have you think.

I agree. However most teens do not think that way. Their standards of beauty are of those you see in fashion magazines, TV etc. Those have gone through a series of technological transformation. We need to find a way to stop this. It is not right to watch the world fall. Right now appearances are becoming more and more important to the point that is is sickening. Did you know Sarah Palin (Canadian) became a popular sight to masturbate to? That is just ridiculous. How can a political figure be treated that way?

I agree with you, you need to get ahead of the system, but how harmful to us is that system?

I actually disagree with the idea that we have to overhaul the entire warped system to improve the self-impressions of our world's youth.

When you get down to it, the world has made things that are cool and fashionable centered around the same general principles:

1. You are the most important thing on Earth. If anyone disagrees with you about anything, they are assholes and should be abused to the most of your ability.

2. You don't drink, smoke weed, party, have sex, drop piles of cash on objects of vanity, or commit some kind of rebellious crime on a semi-regular basis? Then what DO you do?

3. Good-looking people hardly look human, but that doesn't matter. Do whatever you can to look just like these other people.


Awful right? But here's the thing, if someone outright told you that these were the way things were going to happen, very few people would just jump on board with it. The problem isn't that it exists, because it's become so heavily warped that it doesn't even make sense to believe in. The problem is that the people who are struggling against this system have been inundated with years of being told, more and more, that this was the way things were going to be.

It doesn't matter how ridiculous something is; if enough people say it enough times in enough ways, anyone WILL believe it.

What needs to happen is this:

-Children need to be raised by their family, NOT society. Society doesn't make people, they make consumers and pawns.
-People need to stand up against the "trends" and "fashions" every once in a while and just admit "that sounds really stupid". Doesn't need to be any more than that. People may laugh, but making a stand helps anyone else who agrees to feel better about being "outside the norm".
-People need to be honest. I laughed at stupid jokes and did stupid things that I didn't really want to do, just to get closer to the "cooler" group. My advice: never do it. It neither makes you the person you want to be nor puts you around the people you want to be with.
-Question everything. This is quickly becoming a universal constant. In the past a person could comfortably live accepting whatever their community, country, or family believed without confrontation. We now live in the information era, where that simply isn't the case. Now, once you are old enough to make your own impressions about things in the world, DO IT. Never accept someone else's way of thinking without conferring with your own first. If the answer you come up with seems hurtful or bitter, you probably need to think again.

>>17 Unfortunately, the warped system we are talking about here is based on us. The media wouldn't be popular if we didn't watch it. The one and only way to change it is to base our definition of beauty on ourselves and what we are capable of as individuals, and not perfection.

Plus, the system has benefits you reap every day. If you disagree, you can live elsewhere.

>>18 I think parenting has been the less-than-convenient solution for a lot of problems for a while now.

I don't see why you have to specify girls, guys also have to stare at male models when we look at ads and all of our heroes are either peak human or superhuman like Batman, Captain America, He-Man etc. Males are constantly bombarded with the goal of perfection the same way females are bombarded with pictures of half-starved models.
Why don't we just teach kids how to think and use common sense instead of trying to raise their self esteem superficially?

>>19 Isn't the problem that we contemplate the convenience of parenting? In most cases where a parent would argue that raising a child is too inconvenient, I'd have to say that pretty much means they shouldn't be a parent.
But children have to get their initial worldviews from somewhere, and the vast majority tend to take after the lessons of their boob-tube babysitter where this whole sense of idealistic dysmorphia is born.

>>20 Agreed. Much of what I was talking about had males in mind as well.

Though I'd think that physical appearance isn't as heavily pressured on males as it in on females. For females there's pretty much only one acceptable set of features to endear themselves to. For males they can either be abnormally masculine or lithe and effeminate. But there seems to be a lot more pressure on a male to have a particular lifestyle that leaves him to be a total outcast when he fails to conform to it, which does interact with their appearance. I've actually upset people by not acting in part with the way I look and vice versa.

Frist I'm just using girls as an example.
Second, this whole media thing is not entirely our fault. sure we watch it, but the companies are the ones designing it. They know that we watch it, so from the moment that we are born to this world, we are told that females need to be pretty, and males need to be more dominant. Appearances are important, but they way the media portrays it is disgusting. Women as sex objects, men as uncaring fathers, homosexuals as a threat, racism. The media today is messed up and only a messed up person would want to watch this continue.

What if we give the people on the path to this media-driven vision of beauty/coolness/perfection/popularity/etc. a taste of what the end-goal is really like? Admittedly, I haven't read or heard much about what it's really like, but what I have read/heard points to physical pressure and discomfort and intense psychological pressure. Now, that's not fun, and certainly not as glamorous as the pictures of the end result of all of that torment lead people to believe.

Do you think it's possible that giving kids a taste of what it's really like would lead them to disavow it once they realize the truth of it? Do you think it could have the opposite effect and make them more likely to pursue unrealistic ideals of beauty/coolness/perfection/popularity/etc? Would undergoing it a little bit make them think it's possible to attain the end result that they idolize?

Is this even ethical? Giving kids a taste of this would mean things like having them starve themselves and be subjected to intense physical and psychological pressure. Is there a way to do this that's ethical? Would showing videos of testimonials talking about what all of these fashion icons had to go through be as potent as having the kids go through it a little bit themselves? Would it get the point across?

>>24

Unfortunately, there is always a bigger fish. No matter how great of a taste you give them, there will be something that tastes better, at least in their eyes.

That's what makes this whole problem so bad in the first place. There is no real 'end' to the goal of becoming beautiful or becoming popular, or becoming rich, etc. There is always someone that is more beautiful, popular, rich, etc, and being better than them is what drives those people. The main reason there's no end is because there's no real reward from all that effort. It's like playing the slots. You just keep feeding money, because you are too afraid to cut your loses, because you are so sure that next time, you'll actually get something out of all that work you just did.

I think it would be more beneficial to show them people that have accepted themselves, and are incredibly happy because of it. A combination of both would probably be best.

>>1 I'll be honest, when I was little, I had some self-consciousness issues. I really was a monster on the outside. People used to say it to my face. Even my 4th grade teacher would imply it by telling me stories about this girl she "once had" in her class, depicting her as an ugly girl that had low hygiene (I was a tomboy at the time). It really discouraged me, and by the time I was in 8th grade, I'd always come home and cry in my room silently about my expectations. I could never reach the level of beauty that the people around me wanted. I remember being asked out twice by people I barely even knew, but I was sure it was because of my lack of sociality at the time.

But ever since I joined the Dollars, I can safely say that those doubts in myself are going away. And take note that back then, I was only a little girl. Now, I've changed a lot of my friends' hearts by telling them how important they are to me, not how beautiful they are (though I really do see them as beautiful, no homo), and that you should live for your friends, not die for them (Erza Scarlet reference xD).
Teenage self-consciousness in girls should be temporary. I mean, what do you think they'll do as adults and find the love of their life? They can't go on feeling bummed about themselves forever. And forget the media, it's all propaganda. We can't really trust the media with anything anymore. Tell them upfront like men should be doing, and emphasize their importance to not only their friends, but the future.

And it's our job as people of the Dollars to do so. Don't give up :)

Right? The media is killing us all. We should stop focusing on our looks and pay attention to our actual talents. People who keep telling us to our face that our appearances is the main point really bothers me. They think that way because they have no actual talent and relies on something so superficial.

62756D70

I agree.

I couldn't agree more

I couldn't agree more

I couldn't agree more

>>29 It is Ascii, it is a placeholder for bumping a thread. Some people say '----', some say bump, I use this.

>>34 Thanks!!!

I just feel that the media is manipulating us to do and be things/ people that we are not. We need to know the truth that all these models are fake, striving to look like fakes will only kill yourself.

Also we need to create change ourselves first. If we ever see a sexist joke, unrealistic expectation anywhere, we need to raise awareness. We can not just let it go. Not speaking up is basically supporting it.

So next time, if you see something rude or unfair, say out and loud. Make sure people understand you so there is change. Now as society grows, less people speak up. Therefore one person can represent a large group!!!

>>36 Its what the media does and would keep doing because their the media the best you could do is just dismiss it and ignore it and be yourself.

I do ignore it. However does the majority?

>>38 Even if you decided to do that, it's hard to ignore something that is literally EVERYWHERE. You can be yourself, but, because humans, naturally, want others to think highly of them, it'd be harder.

Shit in the world is hard.

I always wonder why reports say girls are so influenced by unrealistic expectations of how they should appear physically, and why it seems to be thought that males do not experience the same thing. Let me give you an example of the same unrealistic expectation targeting males: Captain America, Thor, He-Man, and almost any lineman on any football team. The whole, "you are not good enough" attitude is just another attempt to make money on shortcuts or products that will make you look like models. To be honest, if a human being lives a completely healthy lifestyle and remains in peak physical condition for the duration of his or her entire life, that person will look significantly different than models, even if the models aren't fake looking. The intelligent will continue to disregard these advertisements and false realities, while living as they see fit. This is natural selection, and it still works wonders in our society.

Sorry about targeting females, its just that they are slightly more obvious than males, however i agree theres such problem for men too.

You say the intelligent will disregard the media, but what if you were not the intelligent one, and if you where, how would you feel being surrounded by "idiots"?

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>>43 Being surrounded by idiots is a fact of life. Having intelligence is not something every person is blessed with, and it is up to the intelligent to assist those of less a mind in developing skills and ideas that will benefit their futures. It is up to those of higher mind to decide whether or not to help. In conclusion, I understand I am surrounded by human cattle, and that good ideas can be given to them, but they need a little push every once in a while.

Also, thank you for addressing the male portion of this, because it is not that I disagree that women are more targeted than men, but I do disagree with people that disregard that males are affected as well.

Can I say something on a somewhat similar note? Who gets to decide what's masculine and what's feminine (besides society)? I won't disclose my gender, but I'm currently seeking to sport a hairstyle typically seen on the opposite gender, but not something a person could definitively say is either masculine or feminine.

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>>54 Exactly! why do people consider blue for boys and pink for girls? dolls for girls and cars for boys?

>>57 I don't know. I've never been much of a pink fan and ever since I was young I've always had a love for motorcycles. Still do. (A thanks to KuroKaze for recognizing and posting this very true and important thread.)

>>57 It's ridiculous! And I could be overthinking things by saying this, but doesn't the sort of thing that we're discussing have so much in common with racism? I mean the part about making assumptions based solely on appearance.

i think this stereotype are disgusting; i hate people that says me "you're a girl, act like this!" i grew up with my cousin with who i always play videogame and talk about car, motocycles etc ... and with my father i live into rugby clubs but i'm so very happy to be like this because i'm special and i'm me, not a stereotype.
we have to be owrself and anyone else. live like you think and be strong and happy ;)

right. we need to stop being influenced by the media. They are not our puppeteers. We are our own puppeteers. Decide who you want to be yourself. Don't let others manipulate you

I think it doesn't matter how we look. As cheesy as it sounds but I really think that what counts is our character. So don't worry about how you look. Just be yourself and don't let others broke you. I believe that everyone will find someone who will accept them for how they look and act.

@sakura it's right too, and everybody can find someone that it's with
i'm the prove XD

62756D70

It feels so awesome to know that there are people who are with me. We just need to find a way to spread the word.

Same goes to other prejudices.

I understand where OP is coming from and I hate everything about the world being so superficial.
I had a point in my life where I feel that missed opportunities due to my lack of confidence in myself and still feel that I will continue to lose opportunities due to this. Nowadays, I accept things as they are.

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>>67>>68 Copying me, much.

asdf

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I don't think its actually entirely the media's fault ,it is the fact that people show acceptance to trends and manipulate it in a way ,meanwhile suggesting to themselves what is good what is not

Sometimes people tend not to notice that things have been classified by themselves, for example, is there actually a way to define the meaning of "mess" , no because it depends of different point views and situations

Whereas this would lead to further misunderstandings in society because people change as times change , there is a huge generation gap from the teenagers now and then so priorities tend to be different

And yet we can't expect everyone to be fully wary of what and how to simply" ignore" the media it has gone to so many lengths influencing teenage peers

Its not the media trying to create a generation of superficial people but it is because many look at it in the point view of an extremist and create their own structure of idealisation

It is only right to say that the various companies producing all these influences aren't the main source of the problem but is the craving to be better that caused this

It is true that people are craving to be better (not that it is a bad thing) and are implementing standards on themselves, but it is those companies that are setting the final destination for them (in terms of beauty). Moreover, those unrealistic final products causes so many negative issues (ie depression). The media always had huge influences of people, and is it not abusing this power by setting these "models" to follow?

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all. the. spam.
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I think we can fix this by putting up goofy pictures of people in general when they just woke up, specially famous people. Of course with their permission, but it literally will say the fact that no one is truly perfect, and that every one has their own unique ability.

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Square root bump

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Hello every one if your a in the dollars please
Right back so I now that I'm not alone in here

>>93
Youre kidding right?...
This is the Dollars.
Meaning..we (everyone on the site) is a member of the Dollars.

>>93 Am here [about the post] That's just human nature.

Being apart of the dollars is cool,when
first got in I never knew that the dollars really exist

I honestly think that we won't be able to change the entirety of society since it is what we're used to by now and it will be hard to change it. Let's face it though, we all have at one point in our lives, cursed out our faces of body for not being "perfect" or "beautiful" and therefore made us feel intimidated by those who have those faces and bodies that we want. We cannot change that way of thinking because the human mind is naturally attracted to beauty and perfection.
I believe, on the other hand, that all we need is to be more accepting of people around us.

Other people don't talk to that girl with spunky attitude?
Approach her.

Because in reality, we really are just making what society is today. We just need to be more open-minded to all those other people.

I think we are kind of educated on this type of beauty sense, since we do grow up and socialize in a culture flooded with this type of advertising and value system. I know that of myself. And the sad thing is we don't really realize until we grow up, when the harm is already done. I do agree with >>97, you got to be open minded. That doesn't mean, you need to approach the closest 20 foot gorilla in your vincinity, it's just that you don't always have to go for the gold. Sometimes polishing a rough diamond is worth more.

Hi ,demon girl here can some please talk
to ,well see you all later got to get to school
be back !

*steals 100th reply but yeah society will never change as easily as that as others have replied you have to keep an open mind for those people

Hello every body I'm back

>>99 if you have a smart phone, you can get the GroupMe app. Theres plenty of people to talk to in the Dollars Group.

No

I can't get group me ,because I'm only 11 years
old and I don't know what do when I got group me so I exit it out

Looks shouldn't matter that much,but,unfortunately,they do for most of the people.

It's important to understand that these models aren't so perfect-looking in real life,most of their pictures are photoshopped.
Also,it's important to accept your flaws and try to make the best out of your qualities.

I've been having self-esteem issues for a really long time,my appereance being the top problem,but I started to overcome these problems once I realized that 80% of social media content is fake and that I shouldn't envy others' looks.

>>105
I had these too but my self-esteem problems started to cease when I came to the realization that with most people, the way you behave and the very fact if you have self-esteem or not represents more value to them than what's actually backing up your self-esteem (money, looks, charisma, intelligence or any other skill or attribute that might differentiate you from the rest)
I also did some thorough background checking on the topic, since at a time I became so frustrated with the my social state that I studied up on human psychology and how human relationships work.

It's pathetic that they strive for that social acceptance.

baka!!!!!

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Bump \(^-^)\ /(^-^)/ \(^•^)/

Boom

I think it actually comes from kids being sheltered and spoiled as a kid, this makes them grow up unable to take any form of criticism, they also think that they deserve to have everything given to them. No one is obligated to love you, sometimes you have to work to get what you want, including friends, and when you complain that everyone wants you to look perfect, it's your own fault for trying to impress the ones that want you to look amazing, life's not fair, get used to it.

Wow, I thought I was the only one who thinks everything is so superficial and also wondering why people is in to it so much...

>>113 Well you sometimes just gotta accept that some people aren't what you would've expected them to be. They're more superficial, and sometimes you just gotta let those people go who can't value your company instead of trying to impress everybody. Is that what you meant by that?

naive (:

>>116 was that meant for me?

bump

This is true

So true

haha, like talents, good looks are also a gift, you just have to deal with it and accept that the world we live in is really unfair

>>54
omg.. having the same problem as this right now :(

But the thing is, humans are easily influenced by the mass and they need a positive judgement from a great number of people to feel accepted in society. Rare are those who don't want to feel accepted.

Its so stupid. I'm a nerd my nature I cosplay I read manga I look like a huge nerd and everyone even the popular people love me. All I got to say Is be yourself dont try and be something your not.

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The major problem, though- turn on the tv, flip through a magazine- this country, or world, I guess, idolizes the outwardly beautiful. No one really cares about the inside- especially not guys(no offence)

I agree, my problem wasn't about my own outlook appearance, but when I came out of depression I reached the same conclusion. There are distractions from what makes us who we are, it is okay to have a favorite singer, or artist, or supermodel; but idolizing them takes years away from your own life because you pay more attention to them and try to be more like them than you. These things that distract us, keep us from being who we are and conveying our own culture through life. Also @JinnaiYata, I beg to differ, I believe that each person has their own ways of expressing, conveying, and showing their own culture and inner workings. It may be that men try to hide that, but we can be very deep.

I do agree that this topic does come up in media a TON; however I can't see this happening in public schools in the US (since that's the only type of public school I've been to, I'm generalizing US schools with all schools). I've had several of "not very attractive" friends, and they've had several "not very attractive" friends, and all the people I've mentioned have had attractive friends. I don't believe that (in school, at least) looks determine the number of friends you have; however, that theory may differ based on your community.

night all

thanks

Bump.

i agree. this is soooo true. i am glad someone finally posted this

It really sucks that we are so influenced by media. I know that many of us disagree, but we come into contact with it whether we like it or not, so parts of it just gets to us without us knowing. If its from the perspective of the government, i actually think that they do want us to be brain washed and believe those expectations. A nation that doesnt know much is easier to control after all.

Gonna rustle the bushes of those models!!! >:I

Your all pussies there is no such thing as gender expectations pissed off ugly feminists came up with that term because no one wants to fuck a fat bitch. Instead of blaming the people who propagate societies interests for how you feel about your ugly ass dog face maybe you should blame your parents for not instilling a sense of confidence and self worth onto there child.fuck you all.

>>135
>no one wants to fuck a fat bitch

Well, that's just factually incorrect.

Also, there is such a thing, it's about losing sight of reality and how realistic it is to expect that level of beauty. It's just not realistic. By these standards, most people are 'ugly', so why use them? Wouldn't it be better to be mostly ignorant of people's appearances? Not that you can't have preferences, of course; people that label preferences as discrimination are sorely mistaken, and it's the wrong way to go about it. But, I think everyone would be a lot happier if their preferences were shaped by what was actually in front of them and not what someone else thought of.

OP: you're ugly and welcome to real life

Hey inuhakka I'm glad your in the dollars.

I've mistaken girls as males like 6x's in my life. T_T

I am an 18 year old male, and I also go through unrealistic gender expectations, but they are different than females.

Because I am a guy, I am expected to be heterosexual and girl crazy (I'm asexual)and no one leaves me alone about it. I don't demand tolerance, I just want people to leave me alone about it. People criticizing asexuals or saying they will burn in hell does not bother me at all. What does bother me is that people assume that just because I am a guy I have to like sex, and look at girls' parts.

I only told people of my asexuality because they would not leave me alone about girls. Usually I keep it to myself.

Also, I like shoujo manga/anime which is aimed at females. I like shoujo for the characters and story. Shounen seems to be non- stop fighting that gets in the way of story progression and bland characters.

When I do watch shounen, I prefer shorter stuff (12-26 episodes).

>>135 Do you have anything against feminists? We are simply protecting women rights. Some people like you do not treat us women like humans, but more of an animal or simply a toy (hence languages such as pussy). Do you know how offending it is to be degraded to something less than what we are supposed to be? Also, we are influence by media whether we like it or not. Some of us can tolerate it, some of cant. Clearly you are heavily influenced by media. Do not generalize by saying "no one wants to fuck a fat bitch" because that is only you and the guys you see in movies etc that are interested in thinner, photoshopped bodies. Finally, for your information, we do not choose how we look when we are born. Maybe we do have an "ugly ass dog face" but it will forever be prettier that your fucked up personality. Have fun trying to get laid.

feminazis are the scum of the earth the worst of the worst and most of them are fat and ugly with dyed hair and partialy shaved heads and the ones that aren't are ignorant narcissists and in my opinion feminzazis are sjws and it disgusts me but feminist on the other hand are alright since they just want equal rights and aren't trying to suppress men.there was one especially disgusting that i saw on a video i cant remember their name but it was a girl with dyed red hair bulky glasses and a real butter face she was the leader of a feminazi group that was protesting a mens rights group meeting in canada.

I don't mean to be a dick about this, and I will try my best not too. All this is just opinion.

I will admit that looks are not everything but they are a strong part. Let me do role reversal real quick. If you are, like me, a nerdy guy who obviously does not look normal than there is no way in world you will be able to score a cheerleader girlfriend (for you "Left swingers" changer cheerleader to football player). We would all love to believe that with just being nice and charismatic that we would be able to do anything in the world, but sadly that is incorrect. If you look like a stereotypical nerd do you think anyone will hire you as a underwear model for Hanes or Fruit Of The Loom? Sadly looks do affect how people will hire and how they will judge you overall. I'm sure you can find this online but there was an instance where a fantastic man was trying out for the Cowboys Football Cheerleaders team, but was completely rejected for obvious reasons. Truth is women are more wanted to be seen on T.v. with skimpy outfits than men.

Now on to a more common subject. Teenage influence. I will admit that "icons" today such as: Nicky Monage, Miley cyrus, and Ariana Grande aren't much to be of a healthy idolize. But there are good and bad things to learn. One good thing is that it shows that attention to looks pays off. If you put time and effort into looks than people around you will notice ultimately improving your self confidence. Now this is where I sound like a dick. If you are born with obesity, any very noticeable disfigurement, or defect. I'm sorry for saying this but you are born immediately with a handicap. The only real way to climb your social ladder is to have a sparkling personality. That's all I can say about that, sorry. One bad thing is that they may be influenced to much. Wearing clothes that show practically everything, developing a bad attitude, and thinking that everything can and will be perfect. Sorry to break it to you. But that is a wrong. You have every right in the world to wear what you want but think about what that will do. Will that let men care for you and praise you, or will it degrade you into being nothing more than a item?

Let me summarize this, it is everyone that is the problem. Avoiding objectism is inevitable. As long as pop stars stay the way they are, as long as feminists fight the way they do, as long as men will still have chemicals pumped into there head things will never change. As long as people live. I'm afraid it will stay the same.

I can tell this is a touchy subject for people. This topic wouldn't be such a huge issue if everyone respected themselves and others (equally). But maybe that's too much to ask...

Surprising to see such hateful things in this thread.

It is true that most "role models" on television are way to prettied up to try and imitate. I don't think this matters much in everyday life though. The majority of us are not perfectly chiseled out of stone.

I'm a guy so I can't claim to know the struggles of women, but I still don't think "pretty" expectations are the main reason for teenage depression. From my experiences, it is because a lot of teenage girls can be very mean. They're cruel and ruthless.

The 'bullies' are the issue, not the ones being bullied. I think as members of the dollars we should always try and stand up to bullying. ^_^

Jesus, there's a whole 'lotta nasty in this thread.

>>135

FuckING RELAX.

>>142

You need'a fuckin' chill, bruh. MRAs are stupid.

>>143

I'll almost say "yes way a nerd could score a cute girlfriend", but only almost because saying one could "score" a girlfriend is exactly what this whole thread is about. As if you could "win" a person. Score! Dating a beautiful girl, objectifying her that way, the same way the media does when portraying beautiful girls. That's getting more into sexism and objectification, but you see how that relates here.

I'll say this, though; it isn't everyone's fault. I wouldn't blame the kid who falls into depression and self-hatred who can't look themself in the mirror. I won't blame feminists because they're fighting against this...? What do you mean by "as long as feminists fight the way they do"? If they're empowering themselves and other women and just people in general tell me how.

>Will that let men care for you and praise you, or will it degrade you into being nothing more than a item?

It shouldn't. A person's wardrobe and personality and whatever aspect of themself aren't meant for others approval, it's for the person. Yes, they can affect how others view a person, that's a fact. But the problem lies in how people see each other. How a dude views a lady based on her looks and things shouldn't lead to him thinking of her as an item. You're putting the blame on the girl in that revealing outfit she really likes, not the guy wanting to bone her or the guy who says she's "degrading herself" when it's the guy himself doing that.

People are usually raised thinking guys should get a hot wife and girls should be the perfect image of one. (That's not the only thing people are lead to believe, but I'm using this as just one example.) It isn't just "the chemicals", you gotta take into account the way guys have been brought up, how the media not only affects girls by pushing all these expectations on them, but also on guys by making the world look like a playground and women their toys.

>I will admit that "icons" today such as: Nicky Monage, Miley cyrus, and Ariana Grande aren't much to be of a healthy idolize. But there are good and bad things to learn. One good thing is that it shows that attention to looks pays off.

First of all, celebrities shouldn't be expected to act as role models, but that's the start of a different argument. A lot of celebrities are portrayed as hotties that are sometimes good for children to look up to, when they shouldn't be. Nicki talks about how she worked hard to get where she is now, but that's never really the focus when people talk about her. "She's got a nice ass, yeah." Looks aren't the only thing paying off.

I could go on, but there are so many factors that come into play with this issue it'd go on forever in some angry, justified rambling and slightly off the topic of beauty, so- *drops mic*

We r all equal in the eyes of god so y worrie hehe

Beauty is an age long concept, reason people are attractive to beautiful amd physically flawless people is because they are more likely to produce healthy children, through out all of history the ugly have always been the ugly and less attractive, its human nature.

Same goes with going to the gym and staying fit, doubt I have to point out to anyone that being fit is always better than to not be, and thus people are naturally more attractive to fit people.

And no one looks like the super models in magazines because they are photoshopped to look better than they actually do and anyone who can not live with themselfes because they don't look like they do is a fool, and caring about people who berate you for not looking like that is stupid.

Except the super models then selfs hehe don't depress people more it's not nice hehe

Models in magazines are not meant to be role models. They are meant to looked at and desired by men. (And women, sometimes.)

You do not need to be beautiful to be accepted. I'm overweight, and I dress like a man, but I am accepted among my peers, for my witty and opinionated personality. Jack Black isn't beautiful, and society has accepted him. There are beautiful people who are not accepted as well. Has American society accepted Miley Cyrus, and Justin Bieber? I don't really know.

I don't think that social acceptance is a tangible thing. It is an idea that humans have made, that represents whether or not people like them. If they aren't liked, they are not accepted. However, there will always be people that don't like you, looks aside. Both Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are sex-symbols, but they are not liked.

There is no way to fight against society's views on what is beautiful and what isn't. Beauty, regarding looks, not personality in this case, is not attainable for all people. That is why people who are beautiful are put on a pedestal. They have obtained something that many people desire.

No matter what society you encounter, there will always those who are considered pretty, and those who are not. That cannot be changed. If society just accepts and calls everyone beautiful, then no one will be beautiful.

Teens who are depressed, because they are not 'socially accepted,' are a bit silly. It's a different story if they have no friends, and no family to relate to. But, if a girl who isn't pretty is depressed, just because she isn't pretty, she is being unreasonable.

It is a different story, however, if a teen who is ugly, has no friends, and no family, is depressed. In that case, it is understandable to try and comfort them. But it is impossible to change society's lovely views. If, in two years, obese people are viewed as sex symbols, and skinny people are ugly, then skinny people will be in the same situation as overweight and ugly people are in now.

To sum everything up, there will always be an unhappy party in society. Whether it be skinny people, or ugly people, someone will not be viewed as attractive. Please, get over it. You don't need society to accept you. And, to rebel against society won't do much. You'd need Oprah convince people to change their views and get millions of people to rebel against society.

To depressed teens, don't worry. If people are not accepting you, it's their loss. Why would they deny themselves the pleasure of your company? They are ignorant people who judge people based on looks only. Instead of trying to fit in with them, try and find people who you can relate to, and befriend them.

Don't be upset that society judges people based on their looks. It's a part of human nature that will take a while to change. Until then, endure. Find some people who like you and you like in return. If they don't exist, log onto a dollars chat-room and chat about how stupid society is.

Hehe oh my it looks like my humans that I love so much have turn to make up for help hehe muhahahahahaha that's pretty idiotic hehe but maybe some of it can help chaos muhahahahahaha I love humans sooo much hehe

It all sucks. I'm tall and bone fuckin' thin because I'm allergic to everything. Like, food itself might as well be poison. I've seen my mother's face turn into a watermelon... I've seen my brother drop over, not breathing... Anaphylaxis from fucking food allergies. And every fucking doctor I see...holy fucking shit the next motherfucker that dares look at me like EATING DISORDER...do you even understand...what it's like...to not be able to eat normally because of incredibly terrifying food allergies...? Like, if I was a guy and super thin they would think it was genetics or whatever. I hate being a girl so much. Guys have it fuckin' hard too, I know. Not saying it's easier but you know what? I am so tired of this shit. I can't take it anymore. Nausea gives me panic attacks that are so severe...to even...have the word bulimia uttered in my presence.... *RAGE* I am not on 3 super restrictive diets for fun or looks. I'm on them because I'm allergic to everything. Sorry guys. I just...am so upset. My health is shit and I'm thin and the way people treat me is so fucked...so fucked... There is a deep horror called NO ONE BELIEVES ME. I'm shaking just thinking about it because my life has been ruined by it. Sorry again. I just...can't. People: be fucking thrilled that you can have bread. I don't even know what it tastes like anymore. Be fucking thrilled if you still have a shred of health. I can barely...do anything. i'm really scared and no one can help me.

Really more depressing stuff omg

isn't beauty relative?

also
>>152 health is half mental. set the fuckers that jump to conclusions about your situation straight and persevere. your health might be crap, but you've come this far (>uo)b

...this kinda goes with what OP said. a picture of perfect beauty put on people and, if it's altered, will usually be attacked. and then nobody focuses on the real problems people have, like serious health issues. shit's fucked. but i think people can bring themselves out of it. \o/

>>154 Eh. These subjects need to be covered. Once they are all covered then i'm sure there will be more positive stuff.

*cough-insertannoyingizayarphere-cough*

While I would say that there is a fair bit of photoshop in media, the real issue that needs to be focused on is that because of the occasional photoshop cases that anything that appears to follow these "expectations" naturally, not surgically or anything making it fake, is considered non-existent. I mean for fuck sake people thing its actually 100% impossible for a woman to naturally have boobs any size larger than their head, sure, painful and in the way maybe, but not just an urban legend. Is it natural to be an obese slob? Yes, doesnt mean you should be. "Its a mans fault I cant get a man because of how I look" Sorry but you coulda lost some of that mile wide waistline, you're not gonna date a guy thats as large as that are you? Ladies, call me when you see a fictional character that has no muscle to show at all that still gets all the fangirls in real life, and ya' cant use yaoi as an excuse, has to be someone you would get with personally instead of perv on with another man.
Someone should take a look at Feminism in the media, the representatives, equality doesnt start with just women, it starts with everyone.
#rant

bump

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Love all the conversation! I very much agree:

You create your own definition of what matters!
(Hint: its not physical beauty)

I'm so glad someone finally said it. Well said, I definitely support this.

i am so glad someone actually said this. Like, people who call themselves "ugly" or something don't realize how perfect they are in someones else's eyes.

I have seen this everywhere, my friends that have once been happy and playful are so quiet and sad now, this is because people around my school repeatedly make fun of how they look, when really, they are much worse by trying to change their natural face and attitude into something its not. People in this modern world have goals no more than becoming popular and being the beauty that is a beast. People like that do not deserve to be called, "friend.", "lover.", "beautiful." They may be called this by their own beastly kind, but really, would you want to call them that?

That may be coursed by the stress teens face nowadays. School, university or even with friends, you seem to compete with the world, and this in terms of looks and skills. People tend to make groups and sort others in such groups, it's just a common way to think I guess. I consider myself below my possiblilities that I make (or made) while living my life, may it be on my looks, my skills or my academic knowledge, and I constantly try to reach new levels by forcing me to carry on, may it be self-disgust or fear or whatever. Sometimes you must drop down to find purpose in your life, as I used to say: Living with a purpose is just another way to die. Life is desire. Desire creates purpose. We know something is dead when it stops wanting things. That's just my way to see things

Lol every age of humankind has held a certain sort of look as the most desirable. Some folk just get all bent out of shape 'cause they care too much about stuff that's beyond their contol (I know I used to). You just gotta do the best to take care of the things you can control, and move on with life.

And depression, schizophrenia and mental illness in general have been on the rise since the advent of industrialization and mass consumer culture. What did you expect, bub?

Sheesh.

Well said! To be honest is normal for people to fell that way. Especially on the teenagers. Well I can't say I don't go true that sometimes. But why cry over something to stupid like that. I mean what matters is the way we act around people. But I guess there's nothing we can do about it.

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There might've been 2 or more times in which you based someone purely out of appearance. There are people who are ugly and that's fine. They could be great artists, soldiers, etc. etc. There's probably beautiful people out there that feel like shit because they can't hold a decent job or can't paint or can't even sing a song properly.

What I don't get is when someone calls out someone for being fat, the person gets protected and the Heckler gets called out.

When someone is told they're too skinny, the Heckler is supported and the person is put down ever so gingerly or ever so softly.
>>54

Because: You can't knit sweaters without feeling like an old lady and you can't kill a shoot a gun without feeling manly.


I respect all your opinions, but if you think about it: It sounds illogical. Labels are always going to be used. In fact, you guys only label yourselves whatever you want to but the moment you get called something, you tell people not to label you.

This is a good discussion topic. IT's a really popular one to, so TO THE TOP WITH YOU!

I roll naturals every time when talking people, I've got no need for such a thing as looks.

I AGREE 1000% (song quote ><)

You're absolutely right! Chi-chan agreed! :3
But the reality is worse than we thought it would be...right?

Agree! (I don't really get it tough) :P

i feel like this was mostly geared towards girls instead of boys and that bothers me. beauty is not a gender expectation as it is wanted in both genders, boy or girl.

either way - you're right about one thing. judging someone based off looks, intelligence, and background is not the way to go (with the exception of few). the inside is what matters. that's all.

>>178 I like your name lol

But yeah i realize this post that i made almost a year ago did put little consideration into men. however that doesnt mean that men isnt pressured by the same expectations. I just didnt see the situation from the mens point of view as much being a female myself. But definitely, men are expected to be strong and protect the girl, to have dominance, that is really unreasonable. Just be who you want to be, dont let the media influence you. Its hard, but always try to stay true to yourself

What you said is completely true. People put waayyy too much pressure on girls and boys with all of their expectations! Saying to girls "you have to be skinny, have perfect hair,skin,and teeth! To boys (I don't really know cuz I'm not a guy) they say "you have to be tall, handsome, good at sports, and strong!" It's horrible!!! Sure taking care f your body and health is important, but that shouldn't be the main focus!! People should focus more in what's inside a person, what their characteristics are, if they're nice, trustworthy, good people!! Not if they have the latest outfit!!!
Sorry for ranting there, but this is something that recently was bothering me a lot, so it feels nice being able to let it out lol!

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Yes

Love it °^° and it true you are beautiful the way you are now

it's true that you need to be a beautiful for social acceptance, beautiful from the inside of yourself.
you don't need to be look good or something like that, what you are just dare to be different. when people see yourself as the same entity, it just going to be boring. so what i though, not only being beautiful from inside, but dare to be different too.

It is strange how there are still people who haven't realized that the people in the magezines are 100% fake. They are photoshopped by professionals and have stylists. They do not look like normal people should. No, I'm not saying that they are special people, they are indeed monsters, a malformed version of the human body that shouldn't exist. It all makes me wonder how people can be so evil as not to stop doing this when they clearly see a disturbance in the world.

Glad I've read this :)

I agree. I don't see why almost everyone judge a person's beauty by their face, body, style and fashion sense. It's like picking a candy by its colorful wrapping rather than it actually tastes...

But then why do more male teenagers cut them self's out of depression then female teens?

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