1 Name: 524Clown : 2012-01-24 02:18 ID:g8ExypSz [Del]
I have a friend who's very depressed and self-conscious, when she really doesn't deserve it. One of the things that cheers her up is a poem. I tried writing a poem but I want your help. What should I add and where? All additions are appreciated.
Here's what we have so far:
"From early morning to late night
This repitition is the real fight
The river basin flooded from midnight rain
Came no surprise many left slain
With leaves and roots stuck in our head
Hurricanes leave us for dead
You’re beautiful, though not immediately shown
Everyone wants you to be their own
A day when our dreams are free
A melody for you and me
And even though the thorns still sting
We’ll reach the rosy tip and sing."
2 Name: Jane200 : 2012-03-21 14:41 ID:DFgzHs9H [Del]
I think thats good enough myself
3 Name: Tsuki : 2012-03-22 07:39 ID:L8NXj0Kz [Del]
"From early morning to late night
This repetition is the real fight
The river basin flooded from midnight rain
Came as no surprise, so many left slain
With leaves and roots stuck in our heads
Hurricanes leave us for dead
You’re beautiful, though not immediately shown
Everyone wants you for their own
A day when our dreams are free
A melody for you and me
But even now, the thorns still sting"
Just made a few changes to make it flow a bit better.
