I'm just a 17-year old girl whose a junior in high school. My birthday is on February 16 and I'm an Aquarius. I have autism. I'm not very social but I do have some friends. To be honest I'm not sure who I am. I mean I know the basics like what it is I enjoy and don't enjoy. For some reason though I have different thoughts. I think one way but I also think another. It's hard for me to know which voice is my real voice. I like different things that are different from one another. One part of me might want to do something and another part might not. One side of me believes I can do the right thing while the other feels like I'm wrong. I end up doing one thing while I think something differently. I regret a few of my actions afterwards but at the moment of action I feel like I have the right to do them. Then I can't decide what kind of personality I want either. I'm girly, and I have that fairy-tale dream of being a princess meeting her prince, and I like to be childish though I know when to act mature and I'm a supporter of women's rights. It's really hard for me to know who I really am. Sometimes I feel it would be easier for me to just disappear. Sadly, I can't vanish into thin air. Like I said I don't know who I should be because I can feel like being different people all in one or at different time.

Be yourself. Don't try to be something your not and don't try to be someone else, just be yourself. Your a one of a kind person. Don't let others shape who you are and what you want to be. Be who and what you want to be no matter what people say.

Hm, difficult, but not too difficult. I have some time, so i might as well just type when i can. :V YAY DUCKFACE

Anyhoo, listen, two sides? I gawtchya. I do too, probably not the same as you, but there's a thing called a conscience. You really should already know what that is, but if you don't, it's the thing that tells you and helps you discern right from wrong. Somewhere in that jungle of voices is your conscience. It's not for me to find it for you, it's for you to find.

Inside that jungle is you. The REAL you. I can't be with you to get you through that jungle completely, but what I can do is tell you this:

Everyone questions who they are at least once in their life. I have, and in fact I still am. The future is a scary thing.

Most likely, every girl probably has had her Princess dreams (even Aya :A), and most likely they will turn out that way. Not like Cinderella or some horrible, tacky Disney story, but a story that will leave an impression on YOU. The people you least expect to get married, will REALLY surprise you ten years later....or....TEN CHILDREN LATUR. o-O

Naw, but back on track. Autism is a condition, it doesn't determine who you are. It may give you harder trials and tasks than other people, but that's because (and pardon my spirituality) God believes you can handle it. He wants you to go and explore, to experience a journey that unfortunately, most of us wont get to, and somewhere along the way you will find yourself and hopefully the love of your life.

Not to push anything on you, just remember, im not pushing any religion on you. REALLY REMEMBER THIS. I don't wanna be hassled and cyberhandled because of this...again. You're doing good, you're on the right track. Be an opportunistic person. Some things only happen once in a lifetime. And remember,

Don't just do what's good. Do what's RIGHT.

You'll find yourself, don't quit. Maybe you're already found, you just have to go with it. :D

PS. BUY SUM CAKEH. /o/

I agree with the prior responses, but would like to add my own...

There is the happy medium between little princess and member of today's society. I write stories (unprofessionally) but also cuddle my webkinz and my little ponies. That personality will come, with the ride of your life, aka the Cinderella story.

PS- Autism may be what you have, but it isn't who you are. People who judge you based on that really aren't people, just annoying and ignorant scum.

Be yourself! Here is the deal no matter what you will be loved and trust me i feel like veyone abandons me and they call me annoying and i cut myself and i get abused but just follow ur heart. I am not girly at all in fact i used to shop in the guys sectikn but i am happy with my life so follow ur heart :)

>>4, Twitch is getting angry!

I agree, autism is not who you are. My parents are close friends with a couple who has an autistic child. He's currently in middle school. I didn't know there was anything different about him (except for being more hyper than most kids) until my mom told me.

Be yourself, those who tell you otherwise are full of BS.

>>3, Beautiful response. One thing I feel you didn't drive home though is the part about how to find out who you truly are. I feel you told her what she would feel when she found it and gave her some excellent words of encouragement, but not how to get their.

I feel that their is never such a thing as a bad experience. The things you regretted up till now have helped you understand a little bit about yourself. At least the part that doesn't make you feel to good anyway. But that's OK. Now you know. The best way to find out who you are is to try and experience as many things as possible. I try to do something different everyday, just to see if I like it or not. You will experience bad things in your life, that's a given, but what you do afterwards is up for you to decide. Always trust your gut. If you feel as though you should do something, do it. But once it's all said and done, think back to see if that is what you really wanted. If not, you just learned what not to do the next time that situation, or one like it, comes around.

The voices, my advice, entertain them. The good ones anyway. Whatever that means. Find out which one you like more after you entertain one. Your thoughts wont always match your actions, and your actions wont always match your thoughts. Keep a diary/journal. It has helped me reflect. That's the best thing for you now. Reflecting helps you get to know yourself.

Find things you believe in. Things that you love more than anything else in the world. Once you have found it, act in ways that help, or at the very least, doesn't hurt them. That is the best place to start. You seem to know what you enjoy, so build on that. Create a foundation for yourself so that you always have something to fall back on when your down.

You will get hurt. I feel sorry when it happens, but it will happen. Don't ignore the pain, sorrow, grief, unhappiness, regret, or remorse. Grow from it. Use it to make you stronger. Each person is like an ore, mined from wherever it is we came from. We live in this world filled with things that will burn us. Each time that happens though, we are refined. A little bit of dirt is scrapped off, until finally, we are pure. The purest substance we can become. It takes time. Some faster than others, but time none the less.

Don't disappear. From what I read, your a sweet girl. I'd hate to see, hear, or even think that someone like you would no longer exist.

If you read this, please reply. I want to know if this helped, even if just a little. =)

A friend of mine on deviantart is autistic and granted he has issues in real life and sometimes when he's in the chat rooms. But, I don't judge him for what he has, I judge him for his character, who he is. So what if you have autism?

All autism is is a mental disorder that makes you act a little different from others.

I mean, mental disorders like mental retardation doesn't mean you deserve to be ridiculed for it because you did nothing wrong. I don't call mentally retarded people retards, I call them special.

You're special and you know it.

And this is all from a guy who has adult ADHD when he's 15. That's what I deal with day in and day out, meds every morning. But, I've grown used to it is all.

You shouldn't let people push you around for you being different from them because you can just tell them that you're different, everyone is, and that they have low self esteem so they pick on others to makes themselves feel better.

Am I right or am I wrong?

Thank you so much to the people who have given me advice. I guess I should have mentioned that the autism I have is high-functioning so sometimes I feel like I have to be really smart for people. I mean being smart isn't bad but I feel like people expect me to be this genius or talk about school or something. They haven't said anything like that but there have been people who question why I'm not in an AP class and I tend to get the idea that they expect me to be this really smart girl. And the other thing is that what I want to be when I grow up has almost nothing to do with math or science. I want to be either an actress or a writer and a future goal of mine is to travel the world. Yet I feel like some people just expect more out of me. More that I can't do. But again thank you everyone who has responded. I truly appreciate your concerns and advice.

>>9 You don't have to be super smart. Ignore them. Kudos to you for your aspirations, I hope you do get to travel the world someday, it's awesome :). I expect only what you can give me.