>>5 Yes, I realized that i was using too much "It" and "The" in my paragraphs. I was reading another novel that day and i found out that it does not do redundancy of those.
You're opinion in the introduction struck me! I never actually thought about it but I always recognize them in novels. Now I know how amateurish I am.
I'll remember your suggestions and I'll revise my story... I think the whole story should be revise, it would be a pain in the ass but I want quality work.
Thanks for the honest opinion.
(I've got another work that i also want feedbacks but after seeing the replies of this, I think I'll check that first before putting here it for reviews.)