I wanted to disappear soon, once I graduated (5th May). the reason is, quite cringe, I just feel guilt for existing. I feel guilt for being such a useless son, loser friend, gloomy brother. I feel like I'm exist just to hurt others, and it's my bad habits for pushing people away because I'm scared to be pushed away by people. and for that I've prepared to disappear from everyone's life, I've sold my jacket (except the one my ex bought me) and I'm about to donate other unsold jackets to orphanage. that's it, I don't know who to tell because I'm scared of getting judged so I think it's a good idea to pour out my problem here. I'm sorry for yapp and for my english

you should be talking to a professional about this.