Please pull up a chair if you're going to read my thread as this is going to require a long story first; Right now, I'm a sophomore in college & I have some friends that I talk to in & out of college but nobody I ever talk to on a regular basis (a best friend I suppose). I kind of have one but she lives off in Colorado (12 hours from myself). We met around the time I started high school on a social/gaming website, Gaia Online. It was completely by random but we became friends online. I was a very quiet & shy child irl & she kind of was too & even though I'm only a year older than her, it hardly ever felt that way. A few months had passed & I wanted to be more than friends so I sent her my number & we started texting & dating. We sent a single photo of ourselves to see if we were really who we said we were. That was the first time I saw her face. At one point we even called each other & I heard her voice for the first time. Later in time, we broke up our little online relationship & moved on for a couple of years, still keeping in cautious contact with each other only to start dating each other again during her sophomore year. We had sent other photos of ourselves & I've kept them just for the sake of memories. We finally skyped for the first time & I actually saw her as the person she really was. But then she told me she wanted to go to Taiwan for her entire junior year & of course I supported her. I cared about her happiness. But with almost no possibility of communication while she was there, I let her go a couple of months before so she could really enjoy her time there. Towards the end of my senior year/her junior year, we made contact again while she was in Taiwan. She was so happy there, away from her small town & I was glad for her. And in that summer when she returned, she wasn't the same shy, anime-loving girl that I knew. She was more confidant, more proud & a little more bold. I was so proud & happy for her then too. I wanted become more like her; a better person than myself. That same year (last year I suppose), this girl I went to high school with broke up with me when we had a bad argument at the beginning of December. By the time I started the 2nd semester, I was depressed because i realized I hadn't made any progress with myself in life or with figuring out what I want to do later in life & I was all alone. I couldn't tell my family or what little friends I had how I felt. So I turned to Her & told her about all the times I was sad & depressed, I even told her things I wouldn't dare share with anybody else because I trust her so much. That's when I started to really develope feelings for Her. We texted each other, we used Skype a few times, we really stayed in contact when we could. All throughout our time together, we never once argued with each other & got really upset at the other. This past summer, I finally got to visit her while my family was on vacation. I was so excited & I wanted to tell her how I felt about her for the whole day I was there. But I was too shy again...I was so quiet the whole time & she could talk to anyone around her with ease, even to my family. I was beyond upset when I had to leave & get on with the vacation. My parents could tell I was kinda sad & I told them I liked her. They said it was ok, that it was only the first visit & it probably wasn't the right time to do it. They really liked her though, they said she was pretty & very nice/polite. I still felt terrible that I didn't tell her though, so I texted her later that night how I felt & she was very nice about telling me she wasn't sure how she felt. Then, a couple weeks before I started my second year & she started her first year at a college close to her home, she started talking to an old friend she went to elementary school with. Apparently, his hometown is right next to mine & he went to high school over here & was back her town for a while. She told me she was catching up with him, going to lunches & meeting his friends. I still tried to make my feelings apparent to her but I found out that they had became a couple the day before she started college. She told me he asked her to be his girlfriend & I was just devasted so badly that I might have cried once. I became very depressed again. This time, it wasn't just because of I had zero confidence & still didn't know what to do with my life or that my new part time job was wearing me down as I lost more sleep than usual, but also because I lost her & had felt more alone than ever. I barely talked to her within the passing months, no Skype calls either. I wanted her to be happy & still do. It's just that part of me wants to be the one to make her happy...so then last week, I heard her boyfriend broke up with her & I asked if she was ok. She was so upset that it kind of broke my heart a little bit. He apparently felt depressed & missed his friends back in his hometown & decide to move back here & broke up with her because of that. I didn't understand his need to break up with her when they could always keep in touch long distance-wise like I have. I tried to console her but inside, a small part of me thought maybe I could win her back somehow. I hated feeling that way while she was in pain yet couldn't help it. 2 days later though, she told me she wrote him a letter & sent it to me to read over Skype. I read it & lost all hope. It was a long letter filled with passion & love & I knew she meant every word of it. He told her he loved her, & she loved him back. I thought that there was no way I would ever be able to make her that happy & do all those things with her, the loser & confidentless person that I am. It moved me so emotionally, so painfully, that I, being the little writer that I am, wrote a poem about her loss & mine. Now, with him back at his home & Her, still at her college, I have no idea what to do anymore. I've shared so much with Her over the years & have never met anyone so passionate, kind, caring, & understanding as Her. She means so much to me & I still want her to find happiness & love. I just wish that I could be the one to give her all of those things & be there for her instead of being miles away. It might be love that I feel for her, it might be obsession, I don't know. All I know is that she is one of a kind & that she deserves so much more...What on earth should I do at this point? (Also, I apologize for the insanely long thread post, I'm very terrible at summarizing things) wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwww

I know how your feeling. I used to be brave and strong willed until I moved to a new school. I'm practically the shy girl now..
Also the whole relationship thing. Don't worry so much about it. I know the feeling of losing someone you love. Not to long ago my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. Because of that I moved to a new school. But I'm trying to move forward. Even if it hurts you should also move foward. Don't ever forget about your first love, but keep it as a memory. She's in good hands, but you need to start looking for that one person that will always be there to help you. Start thinking about your future!! Your life is also important. And don't worry so much you got the whole "Dollars" here to help!! We all care for one another!! So your no alone!

one is one and all alone

>>2 the original poster put this in the personal board. this was a test, nothing more

The thread is fine its very descriptive but the thing that you REALLY need to work on is the fact that you can't summarize