5 Name: Anonymous : 2013-09-03 08:40 ID:hN7VRoJ+ [Del]
Okay Liv, normally I am in too selfish of a mind state and wouldn't do something like this because "it might plant thoughts about why you shouldn't", but I seem to be in a selfless enough mental state to send something like this. I don't think it is good for you to be with me. Me writing this is inspired by a free thought writing exercise I took to find out what I truly think about myself, what I found was not pretty. I'm never just saying it to make you feel better, or to chat you up when I say you are an amazing person. You are great. You are better than great, I can't quite find the words for it. But that's where the problem starts. See, I am much, much, much less than great. In fact, that free thought writing exercise I took showed me just how much I truly despised myself with good reason. Hell, I ended up telling myself to commit suicide in order to do everyone a favour. In light of that evidence, I have found that all I would do is greatly fail you. Every good relationship is based around equal partnership, this is not equal at all. See, when you were having a dark period, I was good for you. Your standards had shrunk to just accepting a guy who simply could relate to the kind of problems you were having. Now that your mood has changed and you are happy again, it would have a much better outlook for you if you went with a guy who is good at living and being happy. See, I excel at being bad, if there was a word I could use to describe myself in full simplicity, it would be 'bad'. Somebody who is actually good at being with you, and making you happy would be clearly the preferred option. I can already feel you feeling this relationship growing stagnant, and I don’t blame you. I am merely informing you on what your subconscious has been desperately trying to communicate for a while now. What makes me really sad is that I was almost there. I'm so sad because I nearly was, but I'm just not. Don't feel bad about leaving me, too. I think in a way my subconscious had realised my inadequacy with the full world and was merely trying to protect me and the others around me when it manifested itself in my dreams. It would not impede on anyone for me to dilute my emotions back into that tasteless mixing pot, rather than intensifying them with the denizens of the full world. There are plenty of guys that will be good at making you happy, so many of them are probably near by. Oh god haha, there goes a bit of tear. In the long term though, this will be better for you and safer for me. I'm sorry I'm too selfish to admit this kind of thing when not in the correct mind state. Please if you wish, do not even feel the need to reply to this message, I would not feel insulted. It is necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle to cut off all lesser ties and separate yourself from the broken cogs, lest you stop spinning as well. All I was doing was pointing out the facts that you already subconsciously knew already. Thanks for everything, though. Thanks Remy
