if there are 14 apples and you take 10 away many apples do YOU HAVE?

YOU HAVE 10 apples

if a dog runs INTO the woods how far does the dog run?

the dog runs halfway INTO the woods. the rest of the way hes running OUT of the woods

if a rooster sits exactly at the top of a house and it lays an egg will it roll to the right or to the left of the house?

roosters cant lay eggs

there are 20 fish in a fish tank. 10 of them drown how many of them are left?

20, fish can't drown

Q: Since 1/0 = infinity, and 1/infinity = 0... Isn't that dividing by zero AND infinity successfully?

A: yes, yes it is.

Fish don't per se "drown", but they can suffocate if there isn't enough oxygen in the water (hence why you need a bubbler in your fish tank).

Bambi got twenty four Slurpees after only three trips to 7-11. How is this possible if she has no bag and only two arms to carry the eight Slurpees she would have gotten after each trip?

Slurpees are magical, durr :V No more explanation is necessary.

If you carry two in each hand, how does that equate to eight after only three trips?

Math note: two times three is six.

>>6 Dividing it equally, you would have eight each trip :V

Math note: Twenty-four divided by three is eight.

>>7 Exactly, and I could EASILY do it with no bag or anything.

Oh holy shit, whoopsies. Well, you did say two arms. The hell are you gonna use to carry the other two slurpees.

Slurpees in your pants.

>>10 Long arms. Longer than I am tall... I am a rectangle...Wider than tall...go me!

if 2 men live in canada and they fly to new york, new york and they crash in the middle of the canadian and american border where do they bury the survivers bodies?

>>13 No where...they don't deserve American ground, and Canada wont take them back.

>>14 lolwut?

>>15 You read correctly...

>>13 this one is so old. You don't bury survivors

When a plane crashes where do they bury the survivors?

They don't bury the survivors.

>>18
Who says you're not supposed to bury survivors? I may bury them just because I feel like it.

Here's a good one.

You are a taxi driver. You proceed to pick up two passengers, and you drive them to their destination 11 miles east. You drop those two off, and pick up another passenger. He has you drive him 7 miles south west of your current location before dropping him off. You then pick up three passengers, and they have you take them to a location 4 miles north from your last location. What is the taxi driver's name?

>>19 Umbra Serpens.

>>19 Usually the question is "How old is the driver?" as the numbers are what tends to confuse the receiver of the question.

>>21
Yeah, you got it haha. Actually the time somebody used this riddle on me, the question was "What color is the taxi driver's eyes?"

Which weighs more; a ton of bricks, or a ton of feathers?

It's still a ton, regardless lol

There it is! I asked my math teacher today. She picked the ton of bricks. I almost punched her.

>>26 Right in the kisser.

Bad Cop: If you asked me a question how many questions did you ask?
Suspect: uh...1!
Bad Cop: Wrong, you don't ask the questions.
Good Cop: Better answer his question you won't like him when he's mad.
Suspect: Wh-What?!

Bad cop=bad ass. Nice going. Haha. Yay bad cop. Also, poor suspect.

If a douchebag says something in the middle of the forest, but nobody is there to hear him, is he still a douchebag?

>>30 The answer is yes.

You shouldnt even have to ask.

>>30 You said "if a douchebag" does this, then by default, said person is a douchebag by default.

Now if a man is alone in the forest with no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

>>33 Yes Mother Nature is everywhere therefore man can't be alone without women's presence. Also look at Bear Grylls...minus his camera crew. I think there's something wrong with that.

A little girl kicks a soccer ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to her. How is this possible?

A: Gravity, she kicked it up.