I kinda got this idea from Mael's Rage thread. Only, instead of things that make you angry, You can post anything that makes you feel sad or something you feel the need to get out. Here in the Dollars, we're like a big family who support each other. No one will judge you, and people here will try to help you. You're not alone.

hmph. okay Dollars, cheer me up...gently please. a lot of times i feel sad because both of my parents are handicapped, and so often when i go out generally anywhere, i see kids. with their parents. regardless of age, they're just out, doin the groceries, or having fun, and being active. do you think i just need to chill about this? my parents dont really do any fun activities with us...i wish i could spend time with my parents. like go out and stuff. it makes me sad.

Depending on how much you value physical activities, my answer could be quite different Akito. I never cared about it, and to be honest, I think the only thing that matters is whether or not you think they do care about you.

If they don't, then fuck them. If they do, then awesome - Nothing else really matters.

But this is just from the perspective of the kind of person who thinks that as long as a feeling or thought is there, and both sides are aware, then there is no need to express or reiterate it.

>>2 That's understandable, and it's nobody's fault really. You aren't in the wrong for wanting that, and certainly nobody else is in the wrong for denying you that. It's as Navi said though - I'm sure they care about you just the same as if they were able to do things.

In my opinion, it's a grass is greener situation. Some people are smothered by their parents and wish they would back off, and some people don't get a lot of time with their parents and wish they would be more involved with them.
I would say to "chill" about it - it may feel bitter to think about it, but either way, you would have some problems with them. It's part of being a kid/teen. Just be glad the issue isn't that they don't want to spend time with you, but that they cannot; this goes back to what Navi said again.

huh i see. of course i had always thought that they wanted to spend time with me.. i guess in a way my mind is still the same about it, i love them but at the same time feel....huh :\.. mad? about why it had to happen to them. =.= its like theres a balance between accepting the fact that its something i can't do anything about, and a sort of mild hatred i have toward the fact that it happened to them, and sometimes you know, the balance doesnt stay even all the time. :P
ill definitely keep your guys' words in mind the next time i think about it negatively...=v= yay horray~
(...im a kid...OTL)

Well, this is kinda getting to me and it won't leave me alone.

Lately, I've been developing feelings for someone, but he doesn't feel the same. We're comfortable around each other to the point where we can snuggle and talk for hours. It kinda pains me to feel anything more than friendship towards him knowing nothing can happen between us. He refuses to let anyone near his heart because of what his ex did to him.

At the same time, there's another guy who claims to love me. I only see him once or twice a year. I feel awkward showing any form of affection towards him because I'm not used to being around him, but he works so he doesn't really have time to hang out. I feel bad because I don't really trust him but I don't want to hurt him either. When we do hang out, he seems like he's about to break and he's so gentle.

I don't know what to do.

>>2 Well, I'm not really sure about this since I sort of fit in the "I want to get away from my parents" category, but I think that it's perfectly normal that you'd want to spend time with them. It's unfortunate that you can't go out and do that, but you could always spend time with them at home or wherever they are. I know you want to do "fun things" and go outside with them but there's not much you can do about that. It's good that you're letting those pent-up feelings out, even if a little bit, here because an imbalance with your emotions is only bad if you negatively act on it. I hope that you feel more of the love for your parents than the anger/hatred more often.

>>6 From what I'm getting here, right now what the guy you have feelings for needs is a friend. I know it might hurt that you want to be more when you think you can't be, but he needs someone to, I suppose, "heal" his heart from whatever his ex did. And who knows? Maybe he'll reciprocate your feelings one day. For now, just let things take its course until either he starts to open up his heart again or you really know you love him. Hell, you deserve to get to tell him, even if he doesn't feel the same.

About the other guy, if you don't feel you like him enough or at all, then you should tell him. If he really does love you, then you'd be higher up in his priorities so that he'd have time to see you enough for you two to be more comfortable. The next opportunity you have with him, you could actually discuss this with him so he can understand your thoughts on this. He should know. Of course, I don't really know the whole situation regarding him, so if you feel he'll break once you tell him, do it more gradually.

Someone convince/encourage the idea that humans are great, and theyres nothing to be paranoid about. I dislike humans. Im always too cynical, and I can never relax with anyone. I dont have as many friends as I want, and only a handful of close friends.

>>8 Well, obviously, humans are far from perfect. There are people out there who are cruel or idiotic. However, there are also people who are kind and good. You must be willing to open up a little more. I'm not saying you should just start accepting humanity, but you should make an effort to try to understand the people around you. Separate the good from the bad. I'm sure there are people who want to be your friends but were intimidated. If you can manage to be a little more welcoming to the idea of making new friends, they will come. Like attracts like. If you want to attract good people, you need to show everyone how good you can be. If you draw negativity to yourself, it will naturally come to you.

>>9 thank you

This is something I dont really like talking about but its been bothering me. My dad was in the air force and split with my mom when I was 2. He was sent to fight over in Iraq a few years ago but he isnt a violent person, never was. Three years ago he developed PTSD... My stepmom never liked me and she and my dad started arguing to the point he cracked...He ended up committing suicide and took my 9 year old sister and 4 year old brother with him. I didnt live with them or near them but I still loved them and it hurts so bad knowing I cant have them back. He's not a monster, I refuse to believe that he is despite what people have said. But no one seems to understand how I feel. Its like he didnt think about his daughter who was supposed to visit him that summer but never got too... Sometimes I wonder, "What about me... did you ever consider what this would do to me?"

bump.

>>11 from what you said right there, I don't think he sounds like a bad person, just misunderstood I'm sorry he felt like he had to commit suicide though, no one should feel that way in any point of there lives

bump

>>8 I think good people are kind of like treasure boxes, you have to go looking for them because that special goodness is often hidden. Unfortunately bad people sometimes can hide their true selves for a time as well "dud treasure boxes." But, if life and nature are about balance, then the're just as many good people as their are bad.

bump

>>13 thanx

>>8 May not be very encouraging, but here we go.

I hate people. Seriously, fuck them. A lot of people put manners before their honest opinions, others don't even have opinions of their own. They find it rude to just say what they hate to your face, so they do it behind your back. People suck.

That said, I treasure my friends. I don't want a lot of friends, because quantity never meant anything to me. The friendships I have are with the few people I've found that I like, and whether they are good people or not - They are the ones I give a damn about, and to me that's all that matters.

So I'm not going to try and say people aren't shitty. They are. But if you happen to find someone you like, or care about, then that's all that matters - Not matter how shitty they are.

------------

>>11

I doubt your father was all that bad. He sounds like a victim of circumstance, and in all honesty I think he probably had good intentions for taking your siblings along with him.

But good intentions rarely result in good things. For you, in my opinion, there's two things to do - Live on, being glad that you weren't there to be apart of his good intentions... And remember that he loved you.

>>18 Brought tears to my eyes... but thank you

Bumping this up. It is a useful thread.

Not sure if this is how you use this, but I am part of both the Dollars and the Sirens, and thought there are disagreements, I realize it hasn't come to war, and will never reach full war. Whenever I try to post something to prevent the animosity from growing however I am shot down.. and I have recently recieved desturbing news about several members of both site actually TRYING to start a war between the two.. even going so far as to create an alliance between two members (Enni who hates the Sirens and LG who hates the Dollars) Also there is a member who has been lying to both groups... Cade/Shad, I can no longer deny that they have similarities and that my Sirens Recruiter Cade and one of the biggest Sirens conflict starters Shad are one and the same... I don't know exactly why he is trying to start animosity as well... but it just depresses me... along with the fact that Enni (couldn't give a shit) and LG (DO give a shit...) have started an alliance to effectively take down BOTH groups....

>>21 That's not exactly how you use the thread, but I assure you, shit will not happen. So feel better. Okay? There will be no conflict; I'm sure we will all try to be more mature than that.

Ah I have more to add. Shit will also not happen because Enni does not have anything to do with any conflict.

So, feel better, don't feel bad, it will pass with nothing major, Xero.

>>21 There should be no war. Im sure there are plenty of Dollars (and Sirens) who think that a war is wrong, which it is... war leads to bad things. But cheer up and dont let it bother you too much. There are more rational ways to deal with this kind of thing. Cheer up!

Ever thought that war leads to good? wars are invitable as humans are imperfect, its our way of correcting things.

It's quite perfect actually >>25.

Also, this is an encouragement thread, let's not talk about war here. If you want to, go do it in the chatroom.

funny. war is actually one of the best ways to express urself XD

>>11 My reason for why I think war is bad... you lose the people you love

I know, but you gotta pay the cost right?

I know. Its kinda cheesy but I really do wish for world peace... It would make things so much better if we could settle arguements without violence but there are those that dont listen to words. I'd be able to travel anywhere without having my family worry

>>30 I'm sorry for you losses :< it must've been terrible, but remember theres always two sides to war, just like a story. There's the good side and the bad side. You have to think about it positively. If you turn up to be on the side that loses, then you switch sides and root for the winning team, that way you're always happy /o/ becuz u always win! ^w^

I live in the worst neighborhood ever... Our sheds get burglarized every year, my mom's car was even broken into, and two statues were taken from our front porch... But this year my house was burglaried, for some reason they trashed my entire room and didnt really do anything to the rest of the house. My parents thought that it was friend who has a grudge on me, but she was pregnant at the time so she couldnt have done it right? However, that might explain why she had a miscarriage... But why would she steal from my parents as well?

>>31 thanx
>>32 No one can completely understand another. It could be your friend but what if it isnt? Their reasoning for stealing from your parents could be to cover it up and make it look less like you were the target. But you'll never really know

bump

bump. just a little higher ;)

bump, god fuck me.

Are...are we supposed to encourage you for that, insertnamehere?

>>37 Yes, encourage god to fuck me and bump.

to bump and to fu** dat sounds painful. :I well its okay, go ahead an' do et. I BELIF IN YOUS! 8D

The past couple of days have been kind of weird lately. I've been so ecstatic at moving out of my house that I didn't even get nervous at living away from home at all. In fact, I'm still damn excited I don't have to deal with my parents until I have to visit in the weekend. It's only a week of freedom, but it's more than the ten hours of school and extracurriculars that I used to use to get away from them. It's just pissing me off that they call everyday. Sometimes twice! And its just to talk about stuff they've said before over and over again. They don't even bother to think of more creative or updated reasons to call. But that I can deal with. I'm used to that. What I'm not used to is socializing.

It surprised the hell out of me since I used to be so good at being part of all these groups, being friends with everyone, and always having someone I can turn to just to talk to randomly. There was even times that friends I had who were fighting or just drifting apart both decided to keep close to me. But now I'm just so bad at this. I can't even hold a conversation with other desperately lost and friendless people! It's actually emotionally crippling. I spent around ten minutes going up and down the stairs from the third floor to the first because I couldn't gather up the courage to walk into the student lounge filled with people (who are all very nice and welcoming, actually). I did make a couple friends, though: one was a girl I talked to for about an hour while we waited in line for a book signing with the author to the summer reading book we had. But I only got her first name and she lives in a different campus than I do and has completely different courses. I'm so bad with new people that I can barely remember her face! The other friend I made was one of my high school classmate's roommate. I tried to justify my ineptitude in meeting new people by thinking about how I'm very good at making friends with someone if we're introduced by a mutual friend. But that just made me kind of sad. I can't even get myself to talk to my roommate for long enough to get to know each other. I was singing along to my music but I unconsciously stopped when my roommate walked into the room. Last night too, I played the piano and a bunch of guys recognized the songs I was playing. But they didn't approach me from across the room, not did I turn around. I ended up playing until I was alone in the room. Afterwards, I had never felt so dissatisfied after playing the piano... I know I just moved in here two days ago, but I've never felt so friendless before. Even with the very few people I've known beforehand in here, I'm getting that gradual "I'm being replaced" feeling I got. That happened once in high school when my best friend began hanging out with another girl because my parents never let me go anywhere. I know she couldn't just go out alone, but I still felt abandoned. It's very mean of me, but I got really happy when my best friend started complaining about the other girl this summer and saying she was mad at her, but when we all met up again they were fine again after an hour.

Ugh, I'm rambling now. I just hope this is just one of those moods I used to always get into. The ones I get every time I walk around feeling peaceful for no reason and then realize that I'm the only one walking alone, going nowhere because I had no plans with anyone. It's just that I haven't felt this specific emptiness in...huh...never. Wow. And I can't even sleep it off...

Friends are things you never lose toki, they stay with you from the moment you meet them even when you no longer have anything or anyone else around you. It's different, being suddenly so alone in a place you don't understand yet - understand the people. The environment. Intellectually you know it, but that doesn't mean anything to you in the end.

You look back trying to remember how you got those friends in the first place, and I think some part of you still fiercely holds onto those days. Afraid that if you let it go, it will fade away forever. But you're stuck between then and now, when then was so familiar and now is a blank slate.

Make a splash, start from scratch, you know the friends you had would have your back even if you were a fool. But what about now? They aren't judging you, but you still end up getting the feeling that you've fallen just a little behind the curve of everyone else. They can do it, but you just can't seem to take that step.

It's fine. You already know it, but you've already finished curling in on yourself like this. You say you felt alienation in the new place, but it isn't really that is it? It's not that you're afraid of trying, or that you're even nervous. Lack of friends, lack of people you know, it's a legitimate thought on your mind but they don't really factor into your unease do they?

You're undecided.

No longer in a normal place, you suddenly start acting weird - you said it yourself. How you thought you used to be able to make friends easily. That never changed, the normal you is who you have always been - But in this strange new place, you felt the need to try and approach it differently to try and blend in.

I don't think you've thought about it quite like this, probably thinking in the manner that you are alone or left behind. Abandoned. In reality, if any abandonment has been done it was you who abandoned yourself, your old habits and ways, out of a nervous reaction.

Once you calm down, once time passes, the place won't be strange. Routine will set in and set you at ease, and in doing so, you'll slip back into dealing with things the way you always have.

And when you return to being yourself toki, you will settle into your life fine, with the friends you were afraid that left, and with the friends you were nervous to meet. It's not a question of if, simply a matter of time.

And until then, even if you were to feel lonely, there are more people who care about you. You know it enough that you posted this here, and when it comes down to it, you know that we are there to talk about your day and your worries even when you don't have someone in person.

Some things change, but connections stay the same... And no matter where you are, we are all connected.

Hey, thanks a lot Aya. I think I feel a bit better about it. Today didn't really help much. I met a few people but didn't really get to talk to them. But at least some more of my friends are moving in tomorrow. I'm pretty sure by the time classes start next week, I'll be better with socializing. But for now I'm still kind of awkwardly alone in my dorm while my roommate's probably with other people since we don't have a TV and apparently I'm the only one on my floor that isn't interested in Jersey Shore...

>>42 You have your own preferences, and perhaps, at first, you do not quite fit in. But that is okay, because as long as you keep trying, and as you meet more people, you will open up more and make more friends. Do your best.

kinda similar story I guess, I've had trouble keeping up with friends, and even been betrayed by em in a way >.< it's just hard finding people with similar interests as me, I'm just into different stuff that I feel that most of my school couldn't appreciate, like anime and art and computers n stuff like that. but on a slightly happier note, the Dollars make me feel like I do belong ^_^

bump. There's a thread that was made for the exact same reason in the Main board.

... Okay, probably not the exact same reason. But whatever, you all get the point, yo.

bloop. >>45 YES. saw that, but its pretty close. Either way....

Noticed ppl starting new threads for personal problems. Just bringing this up for those people. That's what this thread is for.

Bumping for anyone with problems they want advice for or just want to share feelings :)

I was so excited to look at and post various pictures of facial expressions until I realized that's not what this thread was for.

sadface.jpg

>>50 If you want, you could start a thread about facial expressions.

For a while now, I've had this problem of stopping myself from speaking because I'm afraid I'll say something stupid. It's actually taking a lot for me to say this right now. But I could really use some advice. Because of this fear I have almost no friends and it's affecting my life poorly in so many ways I can't even begin to list them all. I kind of think the reason I'm so afraid is that before I was home schooled, my classmates bullied me a lot. Even going so far as to threaten to kill me or tell me I should kill myself. I think because of that I'm afraid to speak to anyone at all afraid that I'll mess it up and something horrible will happen. Logically I know that will probably not be the case, but I can't seem to get past it nonetheless. My friends all live to far away to hang out with so we keep in touch online, but even then I'm afraid I might say/write something and it'd come across the wrong way. I just want to know if anyone could give me some advice so that maybe I could move forward from the bulling in my past? If not I'm sorry if I wasted your time with my post.

>>52 I've had the same problems man, I know how much it sucks :/ I've found the best way to deal with it is to force yourself to say something some of the time, don't overdo it with fake confidence cus then it can be seen as cocky or arrogant. I force myself to talk sometimes, but I still stay reserved a lot too, and that's not bad either ^_^ the absolute best thing to do is find some really good friends *cough the Dollars cough* that you can talk to without being shy or nervous :) and your fellow Dollars are with ya man

>>52 I've also had similar problems before. You are gonna have to put yourself out there if you want to change. It doesn't have to be all at once; slowly at first, build up your confidence and, with time, talking to people will start feeling natural. Also finding friends you can talk to without fear will definitely help. Your fellow Dollars can help with that so don't be afraid to ask.

bump

Bump

bumping cus I could use some encouragement x.x I've been stacked with stuff to do recently, and I've been busy almost every day for about a month. this has affected my sleep, and I feel distracted cus of all the stuff on my mind. this caused me to forget something very important to my girlfriend, and it put a lot of stress on our relationship... all this put together has made me slip into a negative mood for awhile, but I have to constantly pretend like nothing's wrong so my parents and friends don't worry about me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxUulGkLu4I&feature=related


MAKES YA LAUGH so cute i posted this on another thread cuz i found it in the middle of random youtube watching but yeah this will encourage you that the world isnt as bad as you think XD

>>58 ok you succeeded in making me laugh XD

OK, I'm 18 and my relationship with my mother is getting more distant by the day. We barely talk to each other and when we do, it's a question / answer type of conversation. We don't share feelings or many memories. I feel bad because while I grow more distant from her, I'm really close to my grandma. I've seen the relationship my grandma had with her mother and I don't want that to happen to us. It kinda scared me when Grandma told me that the way me and my mom were was how she and her mom were with each other. However, I'm never home. I'm currently living with my grandma because one of my aunts and cousin took my room and the guest room. We don't even talk on the phone or text unless we need to know something such as e-mail addresses or certain information. I know this is normal for teens and parents to grow apart, but I'm afraid that it'll only get worse. Any help on fixing our relationship before it gets worse?

>>60 have like a girls day out do something you guys both enjoy. Take into consideration she might be busy as well. There is always time to fix the distance, if you give time and understanding. I always mess with my mom, sometimes she gets too serious, and i just go to her and find her in her work and hugged her. Now i am in college in a totally different country barely any contact, but i know she loves me. Your mom loves you but i mean it must be cuz its harder to please you than it was when you were a kid maybe. So like Get dinner together or something.

Dont worry distances happen, but doesnt sound like you guys would be distant for long... i mean lasting breaks in relationships in the family usually only happens when maybe your dating a jerky guy/gal and you spend time with him/her.Just plan something :) Your parents are working hard to put the food on the plat, sometimes they forget to be affectionate with all the stress they deal with especially back in states, bill juggling should be an extreme sport

thing is, this has been going on since i was young. It's getting to the point where we barely see each other maybe once a month and we're 10 minutes from each other.

Bumping this. There seem to be a lot of people posting entire threads about their situations and feerings lately, and we did have this thread for exactly that reason.

If anyone needs consolation and consultation, this thread promises to be as constructive as possible. I can't guarantee there will be no flaming, but as the topic is defined as encouragement, it won't be sanctioned.

bump

Well this girl, I like her, and she knows. For the past couple months she's been really nice to me. But now, she's like really mean... I just think that I can't go on...

Oh, and whenever I watch Transformers: Dark of the Moon, but that's a WHOLE other story...

So, I'm just going to bump this.

+Bump+

Because of reasons.

This is not the thread i need ._. i just need advice not encouragement or someone to tell me "there there, sheldons here."

>>68 I can give advice

>>68

>people here will try to help you

Just ask for advice, yo.