1 Name: GRIM : 2023-07-22 22:29 ID:xntBqeg6 [Del]
Hi guys! I would like to preface this message with saying that I mean no harm towards the people within and without of this community.
Though lovely, there is a plethora of underlying issues.
I have been active on this site and the chatrooms on and off now since about 2015, and since, I have met hundreds, if not thousands of people.
Of course, over half of those people have been nothing but kind and lovely- of course the whole premise of this site is to spread kindness, just as the Dollars, initially, planned in the anime.
But lurking these forms, and lurking these different chatrooms- with people all over the world, and likeminded people like I.
I have gotten to know so many different people, and each and every single time I have gotten them to open up to me in some way, shape, or form.
What I have come to understand about all of these people, is that none, absolutely not a single person has come to realize how similar they are to every one else. That is my first issue. The whole community, built around one singular fan base, has failed to realize how similar they are to the rest of their peers- how each and every single person has failed to see the like-mindedness they share with simple strangers on the internet.
The anonymity within this site and the chatrooms it was simply attracts people, and what keeps them there- why else would I relentlessly return to this site, even after almost nine years?
That is what connects us all, the simple knowing of not knowing.
The inability to fully acknowledge each other, as real, living, and breathing people until we have fully gotten to know them, and empathize with them- as we do with the people in our regular day to day lives, face to face.
As the internet progresses, and as this community progresses, there will be forever an unending cycle of indifference and subjection to desensitization.
The other day, I had a thought to myself- I watched an online friend group, which I was not apart of, simply sharing personal information to each other, such as locations, face reveals, so on and so forth. It made me think, and made me think hard. Not about how dangerous it was, but the simplicity of naivety that seems to connect us all- a childlike wonder of the world. The curiosity of others, who just happened to be here at the same time as us. Though, there is an underlying aggression within some people.
There are some people within this community who's lives are so mundane, and lack actual, normal excitement that they tend to recreate ideas put forth to us from an anime. In this small community, there are a few people who tend to come back, or there are people who have taken on their image- and reflected it back onto other people. It surely is a darkness that creeps in unexpectedly. Of course, there are people who truly intend to hurt other people- especially in this day and age...
But, there is a simple lack of security.
First handedly, I have experienced blackmail, put forth towards myself and my friends. Details of information, where we lived, and unbacked threats pertaining information that they have gathered upon us.
It is kind of stupid really, but the issue still stands- a safe haven for likeminded people has slowly become corrupt over the years.
In November of 2015, there were multiple attacks within the city of Paris, France. During this time, I joined the site, I am not sure of when- maybe before, but this could have been my first time on the site. I'm not sure.
I remember joining that chatroom though, it was named something along the lines of: "Prayers for Paris" or "Save Paris 2015" so on.
I remember those first few days that the chat was up, between school, between periods, I was a frequent member. I remember meeting so many people who shared the same passion as I, and those who were simply trying to make their mark on the world. It surely was a different time then, sure there was bad people then as there is now- but it seems that people who wanted to make their mark, simply did so by leaving.
In my earlier years in this community, there have been dozens of people who have hacked, stolen, doxxed, exposed, black-mailed, and extorted. Numerous stalkers, an abundance of everything- that was apart of the excitement... But as everything does, it evolved.
Nowadays, you still see the same thing, but in some cases it tends to be worse.
A growing abundance of everything simply means that nothing gets left behind. Eventually, the growth gets overtaken by weeds within a garden.
The menacing presence of everything has evolved, pedophiles, blackmailers, extorters, and no-good people.
Eventually though, even if it takes years, just like everything, it'll die out.
So, you may question my judgement; you may say "Why does he? Out of all people, get to judge the very thing he can't seem to shake?" Or, you may say "If you don't like it, just leave."
As always, who am I to judge? Out of everyone else in the world, I should be the last. I have done shotty things myself, so who am I to judge? Who am I to comment? Who am I to create change?
I find myself always chasing the idea of what could have been, and what should have been- within my mind. The nostalgic feeling of what I have missed within my lifetime. The near elusive dreams and goals that could have been reached; but never caught. Now, those dreams and goals reside within my- with a childlike wonder and naivety, of how I could have been.
It only makes sense for me to reoccur every few months, like the passing feelings of impending doom, the anxieties of winter, and the hunger pains on a day to day basis- I crave, I worry, and I hurt- no reason why, it is a comfort.
At the end of the day, who am I to judge? We all end up in the same place, just at different times. I am not the type of person to try and leave my mark, I am just simply someone who likes being.
My apologies for rambling, I just did not have anyone else to talk to.
