There’s nothing I want to do in life anymore. All the joy I felt has left years ago and I’m stuck in the past trying to feel the feelings I once felt. Day after day it’s the same thing; I feel like there’s nothing that excites me. Back then everything was unexpected, it was like a roller coster of different emotions every minute. I know it was bad for me but it made me feel alive. I felt wanted, I felt like I wasn’t alone. Back then it wasn’t a healthy life I was living; I was constantly beat and talked down on. But I always find myself missing those times. I feel stuck, like I’m being held down by my own selfish mind. I can’t break free and I feel as though I’m giving in. I really can’t take it anymore my life, living life itself seems so far from me and I can’t deal.

…cm

We all go through times like this, these past couple months for me have been hell. Lost my job, got kicked out of my house and got to living in my truck for a bit. But somehow someway i never gave up. I rememebered what a old friend used to tell me and saying how its Ok for things to fall apart. But one thing you should know is the night is darkest before the dawn. And trust me friend i dont know you but ive been where you feel you are before. I held out and even now im holding out and things are finally looking up. Things get better and even if its from a stranger i see you and trust me youre stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Thank you for your kind words Decedo. My mind is just trapped right now; I know that I’m able to find a way out but I feel stuck. it takes strength and confidence and I will try to gain them for the sake of my future and for the sake of my past.