Hate to see you lose patience so quickly. If a friend is necessary to make you feel like you matter, you have to imagine that barricading yourself this way makes it hard for a two way relationship. I've assumed people respond with "we care/you matter" but they don't. At least not where I look. I don't see them responding at all anymore. So which is it I fall under.

Youve given us all 2 opportunities to hurt you just by being a part of this site. Either screw us for trying to say anything at all that might be true for us if not for you, or screw up for not responding immediately after discounting half the shit people say just to show you people have compassion in this world.

To know you or to know yourself is impossible. So forgive everyone you ever met for not being in full understanding of you from the start, and that is so say, forgive them for stepping on your toes when they should have known better. No one knows better, no one could, not even you because as hard as you fight, everything changes.

It seems like a challenge to fight with your defense mechanisms to eventually have you think something other than doubt about my empathy, and maybe the friendship you're asking for will become a proper exchange. You're asking someone to accept all your resentment towards others and prove you wrong about not being matter. Can you sympathize that we all struggle with feeling like we matter? With losing friends? With falling out of self-care?

Your breaking the forth wall here, that we all assume we carry effectively; The perspective you have about making friends is off. We all want friends to feel like we matter with, but we have no right to burden them with such self-centered turmoil, as if to say their inate flaws are a deliberate slight to you, and since you gave them responsibility of your well being without their knowledge, they should have been a better friend and made more effort to know you. But that's exactly what we all do to each other, because we base life off scripted bullshit.

Forgiveness, Respect, Empathy, Consideration, all have to be exercised by both parties~ but not at either parties expense. And each party is responsible for expressing what forgiveness, respect, empathy, love, care means to them, but all we can do is pur best not to hurt each other and practice the same forgiveness we expect for our own flaws.

I can't possibly imagine this working out well if I let you into my life without guard, under the impression that I, one single person, can alone make you feel like you matter in this world. What a feat to take on! For anyone! Even the people writing books about how to make friends, and even the people writing books about the human psyche. Even the people who you think have all the things you dont that makes ot seem like they have all theater and cate that you don't


What do I offer to the table? Who cares, why do you care that I can bring matter to your life? And what will I have to sacrifice to do so? Wpuld words and the time for those words be enough. Will i get to feel the joy of being k own and cared for too, or will you keep that from me until your measure of trust and loyalty is met? How long will I take your doubt and adhere to your needs, and trust you and forgive your flaws while I live my life searching for meaning and to be cared for. I cannot give you all the care you need, give you the care and love you ought to feel for yourself, and still have the energy to live and care for my life and self.

I have to care about myself too. No friend of mine should bear that burden. And though I may waver and lean on them, I shall not sacrifice the empathy tp recpver from my own hardships. It's impossible for any one else in this world to make me feel like I matter. Why would I expect that from someone else?

I think you have to find some way to matter to yourself, then find people who found the same about themselves. Those people's friendships won't burden you this way, and you won't have to burden others with the responsibility of your well being. You're human, it's all pain and joy but mostly waiting and creating our own problems out of boredom.

Take it easy on yourself and what you expect from others. Your friends are going to be flawed to if you come to Know them and Care for them in the way you expect to be Known and Cared for.

the fuck kind of philosophical bullshit are you babbling on about? no need to be such a self righteous dick towards someone who is obviously going through a very hard time and clearly needs help. you ever been depressed before? saying shit like that does not help.

Yeah, seriously. Go fuck yourself. Nobody wants your thesis.

You barely leave room to respond in your post. Open up. Stop picking enemies of people who aren't trying to fight you. Im talking to your shitty thinking. Hurt me all you like. Happy to see you can look down on someone while using labels to discount what they say. What can I offer to the table? You think you can't have friends. Imagine how fu king insufferable le I am. Check yourself and stop expecting others to be perfdct.