Well if there is a meaning, I certainly won't find it here. There is no point in helping others if no one knows the true meaning

True you do have to find meaning for yourself in your own. All others can do is guide because their own truth is what helps them survive. And all we can do individually is search for and attempt to live our own true meaning.

My truth may not help you, but the fact that myself and many others found at least one truth worth fighting for should be enough to convince you.

What true meaning is to you is something else for another. Applying conditions with the help you offer is something other than help too. There's already a standard for the people who actually receive help in this world. You dont need to adopt it for your individual self.

Turn the Tides and help you. Grow and your environment can be better for your being. Take the time you have in this life to be something that won't be discourage by by lack lack result from their efforts for others. Do t throw away your compassion..

Vicarious Symbiosis. Help yourself to help others. Carrying this half sense of nihilism bottlenecks the potential of help you can actually give.

I fight with it too. I hate the state of some of the world. Some of the world can't be helped just be me in exactly the way they need to be helped. I'm no leader. And this defeated feeling is surely something leaders experience everyday, because life is a big Grey area. We can't plan for the outcome no matter what. We can only make decisions and hope for the best.

>>2 There is only 1 truth: survive

sure you could say that, you can say whatever you want; if being cryptic helps you survive, have at it. If that's the true meaning for you, have at it. Using it as an excuse give up on 'helping others' isn't applying meaning to your life, or helping you survive.

If the truth of inevitable death is where survival stems from; Either you survive or just let yourself die. What does that have to do with helping others? How does your truth stop you from being considerate or compassionate or empathetic? Why be sure to act a certain way instead of actually trying to check yourself internally, realize your just being macabre, and realize it's directly effecting your ability to be who you want to be.

If you must survive by leaving others to their suffering, which you personally could do nothing about except to help them survive through it until the storm passes, then stop trying. You aren't getting the results you want by your attempts to help others, so stop trying. If you must need results from your attempts to help others, stop trying. You have it all backwards. You are not performing acts of compassion.

This is the exact Conditional love that people get abandoned for all the time. How many hands have you reached out to only to pull away because they didn't respond the way you wanted them to?

/sage

>>4 far too many hands my friend. But people should do whatever they want

I have done the same myself. Then i catch myself thinking people should do what they want, *unless it disturbs my peace. Would say we're off track from your original post;

You've assigned those you help with the responsibility of providing meaning to your life, without their knowledge. So, you do what you want, and have a bad reaction to others doing what they want, it would seem. Surely you volunteered your time and effort willingly, they did not force you to help them, I assume. Set yourself up for disaster and then claim if only others knew the true meaning, you wouldn't feel this way. its not fair to yourself, at the very least.

thinking of someone.. I've pulled back my own hands from one who put a lot more value in my virtual presence then my full being. Without too many specifics, I was invited to be part of a group, I accepted as a civil gesture, as the individual used phrases like 'its lonely, could use a friend, feeling down' so I obliged, and we barely made contact once in the following 4 months. I decided I had no place in that group, realizing they had plenty of people interacting with them every day, realizing I was coerced into being a +1 for the groups overall quantity (which was the individuals real interest). I left this group just to be bombarded with hate mail, with excessive guilt tripping like 'what if i ****** myself because you left the group,' and be trashed to all the other people in the group about how horrible of a person I am.

I am amazed that, if someone truly felt that way, that their disposition was so fragile that a person they do not know, nor interact with as a friend, would possibly take their own life because that person stopped 'following' ... If someone has such a sensitive disposition, why put themselves right where its most dangerous for them. I can't help but think, why lay the responsibility of your own life on any one of a couple hundred people.

I could not meet his intentions for me. I decided there was no basis to remain in contact since I was coerced into being part of a numerical quantity under the guise of friendship. I did what I wanted, and so did they. I made a decision for myself, and they decided it was full on betrayal and took time out of their lives to hurt me. Fought to reduce any amount of friendliness between myself and any other member of that group. He did what he wanted.

So maybe you don't really believe 'people should do whatever they want' or maybe never believed you'd find meaning trying to help others, maybe just hoped that helping others would bring meaning somehow from anywhere (like me). All I'm saying is no one else is to blame.

No one here deserves to be shamed thinking they couldn't bring meaning to your life. That's no ones responsibility but yours; of course that's IF you make it a responsibility to have meaning & believe the only way you can get it is through others. Meaning that measures up your own standard for what's meaningful.

in other ways too, I feel i've tried to pack so much meaning into my interactions with people that I've lost the basics of 'community' & 'communication' .. small talk is tough for me, to my own detriment I've made it difficult to get to know people and made it difficult to be known. I have had such a scope on searching for meaning that unless having another in my life is within that scope, I am better off without 'another' .. which has brought me into a mental solitude that seems to put all common ground in a blind spot. Since i've traded off basic relationship skills in the search for meaning, how did I ever expect my interactions with people to amount to something. Sure at this point i'm talking to the mirror, sorry i think i'm off base hah. but thanks for responding and reading my responses. Another click in my head saying I'm just using your distress to sort out my own thinking. I hope that none of this is taken as fact or gospel. I wished to relay an experience that I felt was relating to your post.

>>6 let them **** themselves. It doesn't matter to you does it? also it does seem a little hypocritical of me for doing whatever I want and getting mad at people doing what they want.

>>8 hah well it matters that the people of that group who I hoped would still trust me, decided to hate me too. Not that I wished they took my side, but definitely wished they didn't treat me differently in the aftermath. It shone some light on the fact that a lot of us carry that hypocrisy, me included of course.

I have a bit of empathy for everyone, so if he ceased to live, it would matter. As much as I personally revere the transition from so called life-to-death- but that's personal and usually keep such a thought to myself. So, If he ceased to live because of my personal choices, it matters as far as that empathy goes. Sure, I'm not going to walk into a police station and ask to be charged for murder. But I'll spend time and effort wondering what I could do differently to avoid such a happening again. Then I become guarded while trying to offer a safe environment for others to open up and discover themselves through. Walls within walls (is this Attack on Titan?). I'm not the type that says suicide is wrong, but I'm also not the type to agree with an individual's specific pain or reason that would validate it.

But of course, that person is still living their life & has friends to speak of, my decisions truly had no effect on them, but they made it their responsibility to correct me about what I did wrong, by threatening suicide.

So that's me, caring too much what others think & do, at least as long as they're attributing to the meaning in my life. I too wore a guise that I could support this person at the level they expected, even tho no explicit terms were agreed to.

If I had just thought and acted in favor of myself in that moment when he asked if I would join his group, Instead of 'let me give what this person wants and maybe derive meaning or fulfillment from it later' I could have avoided that whole thing, and not bred any hatred in my own life inadvertently. I choose the wrong time to put on the selfless act. I thinks its a balance to find, empathy doesn't have to be all or nothing, i think. I think we're allowed to compromise for ourselves too.

ohhhh just like your thread title, sometimes we can 'Just Sit Back' heheheh.

(oops missed the sage, but that's ok, I presumed you wouldn't continue responding, apologies)