i feel lost. not in the normal sense though. i know where i am and i actually feel very grounded to my surroundings for the first time in a long time. but i feel lost within myself. which is actually a very strange feeling. whats weirder is that currently i am the happiest i have ever been in my life. i am finally free from my abusive mother, i've forgiven my father for being absent in my childhood, and i am actually seeing a difference after seeking help for my physical and mental health issues. and yet when i reflect on myself and who i am - i feel lost. the best way to describe it is that i have reached the end of my story. i have done everything that i needed to and things have reached the conclusion. but if thats the case than why is my life still going on? why are all the things in my life wrapping up by i myself am not. i feel so many different emotions all at once and i am confused and disorientated. i just wish the feeling would end.


i hope this makes sense to whoever takes the time to read this.

From here, it sounds like the beginning of your journey.

Enjoy the reprieve before life brings a new challenge for you to overcome.

Well done so far. It's wonderful to hear this part of your story, it's like the synopsis for a really amazing anime. But you've only cleared the prolonged. Now with your freedom, you can choose your life from here.

You're not lost, but just being born. Or Re-born rather. You've shed some skin, and have taken a new form.

See what you can do with it. Not all journeys have a set path, and yours seems like you can go in any direction. I'm sure your story will make hearts sing.

When I have moments of reprieve like you are experiencing now, I like to devote my energy to others. Get a good understanding of what youve learned this far, and of your metamorphosis. You will need it for where you're going.

Prologue***

Not prolonged lol whoops

The thing is, there is no true story to begin with. Everything is meaningless and nothing matters. We will all eventually meet our fate.

Sure you can be a hopeless asshole and try to put people down all day; people who are having the courage to be vulnerable. One of many paths of our free will.


Two sides of every spectrum; everything's inherent meaninglessness isn't a bad thing, and neither is the natural transition we call 'death'

If you see meaninglessness as hopelessness and despair~ you made a conscious choice to see it that way. Fate is a mirror.




>>4 if your going to help people here, then help them. That's what these 'personal' threads are for. If you need help, ask for it. It's apparent you aren't in a proper mind set to provide others with the encouragement and grounding that they're asking for. Why not make a post of your own and let us know what's going on with you.

Oh! I have been feeling like this for a while. Is nice to see someone going through the same thing. Though nothing about it is nice.

>>5 You just haven't accepted that we will all die. You needed to learn sooner or later. Just embrace it.

I agree whole heartedly. And I'm not surprised you're misunderstanding me. Being the closed-book you are.

The sooner we accept the end, the easier it will be when it comes to us. If you cared about anyone but yourself, you might actually pay attention to what people say. Regardless of this, this conversation had nothing to do with you. So again I recommend making a post of your own if you have something to say. And it pains me to think you, with all your willful disrespect, consider yourself an admin. Now thats something maybe you can take your own advice on. Embrace it. Your response wasn't for me. As mine was not for you;
Fate being the mirror it is.

If you wanna get a better understanding of Death, I will talk to you all fuckin day about it. Let's do it elsewhere. Make a post yourself, really what stopping you. Afraid you'll learn something? Afraid you might gain some relief through a better understanding? How horrible.


Child, you might beg to a God you don't believe in, but I ask all forms of power to take my life. Yet here I am;

I'll tell you exactly what I have not embraced so you can at least have a proper comeback.

What i have not accepted, is that I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. The idea of living another 20 30 40 years in this weak flesh vessel does give me a little more courage though. What say you to that. Think you have the words that will give me all the courage I need? Give it your best shot.


Since it's all about you now. As opposed to at least having the tiniest spec of decency to keep your bullshit off someone elses post and making your own since your so desperate for attention~ Hope you don't mind OP, not that anyone gives a shit. Not even a self proclaimed admin. Really staying true to the dollar motto; proving the world isn't as bad as it seems, huh? Well done.


So... tell us, your new support group;

Have you recently lost someone?

And for OP;

I may not want to live but I respect that others do, or at the very least look for a reason to. And it's convinent that the words they need come to me from elsewhere, I don't know where. So apologies for having an opposite identification with the ideas I posed to you. If that makes anything I said invalid, than I'm sorry we've all wasted your time.

It's funny because to be reborn, you had to Die. That's the other side of the coin.

I can thank this asshole, Jodisan for posting anyway because it's important to note;

Make sure that old self of yours is good and dead. Don't let your past hardships turn you unto a sourpuss like Jodisan here. And like myself.

>>7 Why are you even here? If you want to be depressed because your life fucking sucks don't make others take the blame on it. Some people just want to be happy unlike you and actually reach help. People like you disgust me.

The thing that’s stopping me is me becoming god. I have to do it.

>>10 do you know who the hell I am. I’m the person who’s going to kill you.

>>8 You don’t believe in yourself or me? If you want to be nice to people, why do you live in pain yourself? I feel for you and I want to help you. Not everything is bad but I personally believe it is. Don’t let me stop you from spreading joy to others. Though if you wish to listen to me then hear this: some people are horrible and need to die right now. That is my goal. To end the lives of these petty fools. If only I had the people to help.

Sage your replies folks, I can't imagine bothering an actual admin with removing this. If anyone else must reply then consider simply reporting. Let's not instigate since this tiny person just wants to fight and get a rise out of us.



Plus I'd still like to see OP get the advice they asked for.