1 Name: WetSock : 2021-08-31 17:48 ID:31dJ64fT [Del]
Ok so a few TWs- intrusive thoughts and mentions of SH, don't read if that bothers you.
For years now, I'll randomly feel intense urges to hurt myself in various ways. Sometimes it's completely illogical, like wanting to cut off a limb, or wanting to be decapitated. I'm not sure that I actually WANT any of these things to happen, but I feel this way often enough to where it's starting to concern me. I've never acted on the more...uh, OUT THERE impulses, but. Sometimes I do give in to the feeling.
It's unlikely that I'm depressed, so that's not the issue. I feel this way at inappropriate times (though when is SH ever appropriate? lol) and over little things. If I get slightly annoyed or overwhelmed, it's the first thing my mind goes to. Hell, even when I'm bored, I can't help but think this way. I'm indifferent to the idea of pain, at best, but sometimes I feel like I NEED to be hurt. I don’t know why.
I tried therapy for a brief time, but I never talked about it because I didn't want to end up in a mental ward, and I was also a minor at the time, and I didn't want another thing that my parents would judge me about. A part of me worries that I might do something seriously idiotic at some point.
I also feel I gotta specify: I don’t want other people to hurt me, and I (generally) don't want to hurt other people. It's specifically a desire to self harm. I don’t know how I'm supposed to avoid it. Anyone got advice that doesn't suck?
2 Name: FindMuck !MrEff/SKhc : 2021-09-01 05:39 ID:rezh0RCR [Del]
The first thing I'd do is surround myself with information on the subject. I'd mention to be careful about leaving a search history if outting yourself is a concern.
I'd absolutely just jump into the topic, because it's one that has undergone heavy analysis over the last decade or so. I'd also mention to be mindful of slipping into groups that support eachother in condoning these actions. I've seen that shiz w/ eating disorders, so I'm sure it exists.
Tbh, it sounds like you've done a lot of reflection already. If you've already done your own research, it's a little hard to recommend anything less than professional help.
