How do you all cope when your life in thrown into a state of chaos? True be told I haven’t found the one yet I just wanna get away from it all ya know. Toxic Family, ego, you name it I just want to get away from it all, sounds like I’m just trying to run away from my problems right? But that’s the honest true I don’t want to bothered with them at all, I’m starting to realize I don’t even know my self all that well but that’s life I guess but back to the original question how do you guys cope with things?

To be perfectly honest; Cannabis. But that's for a diagnosed illness that has failed to have been treated with the 6 other prescription medications, at unnecessarily high doses.

However, I understand there's no merit in solving one issue by taking on another.

The very concept of running away is painted with the idea of a lasting pang of guilt or regret. To exchange bad to potentially worse is something our minds will use to find comfort in our suffering. We sometimes deprive ourselves unnecessarily.

And perhaps more often, we take on more than we can handle, and try to meet an average rate of production or development of a personal footprint.

All to be tied to the idea that no matter what we're pernamently attached to a few different people that have painted their own image of everything you are befoer you knew it yourself.

Sometimes you can ask yourself, are these thoughts my own? or are they the result of the surrounding expectation of what I was hoped to be?

I often hesitate to say this, but family ties are not required. They are arbitrary cultural standards, that one needs not adhere to. I can promise you will find stronger bonds that will grow stronger still if you, at the very least, take the time to consider letting go.

There is no denying that one day there will be a phone call, telling you your parent is deceased, and there is either the lifetime you spent trying to build yourself to be something you are not just to earn a morsel of respect ---

--- and there is the lifetime you spent answering the questions of who you are for yourself, and making a choice because you feel in your heart it will bring you joy.

It's ok to be that kind of selfish to ensure your ease of growth.

Time is irrelevant. People staring into a grave are only now realizing who they are and wishing for another lifetime.

Things like these are the hidden threads, the needles in the proverbial haystack, that unravel the chaos.

Remembering that the imposition of expectation was there before the nagging thought that constantly lingers in your head. these thought of what you need to be are not your own.

One must hear what they want to be from within and the world with some how, in its own special way, when you're shedding those skins of false conception, shed a skin of its own -- and you will see a new reality.

You must and will do remarkable things here, but they must and will be yours.

You will surprise yourself.

to be more practical;
I work on various creative projects
I work on pixel art, and if I hit a wall, I'll practice ukulele.
If I get a riff out on paper I will take a walk. If the mediocrity allows too much intrusive thought, I will play a game.
Level up a few times and Ill try a new food recipe. Tastes bad so I'll go online and find a stanger in need. Ill do my best and start an anime. end of season so ill clean something. the mediocrity allows too much intrusive thought, so ill work on some pixel art.

I cycle through things, without the urgency to complete them. I can focus on things a little at a time, and everything grows in its own time. Without imposing myself, I can maintain.

And in the things I do, there is always passion and I always take joy from it, because I allow my heart to delegate their growth.

For example, here are, in chronological order, the 4 pixel art projects I've done. The third and fourth are a WIPs but ill still shop it for posterities sake. I started about 6 months ago.

2nd

4th WIP

I have also been working on a wiki fandom Page for an indie game that I fell in love with. This game provided me insurmountable moments of joy and so I want to pay it forward and help spread awareness for the developers.

Another, and possibly my greatest hobby, which I could consider work if I was lucky enough to be employed for such a thing; is, In fanciful terms, Quality Assurance (QA) for Software development. I make sure the developer's product behaves as intended and cannot be pushed past its limits and damage the program- or worse, the computer it's installed on.

But really its just playtesting video games. Everything has 2 sides. So what if the general view of society wouldn't deem this a worthy effort? Not only do I enjoy it, but the truth is, what I described about my hobby, is of value to someone. Software development, in the form of games or otherwise, is exploding into it's own macro universe of recorded messages from the imaginations of millions - And what I learned from years of doing it would allow ease of transition into any potential employer in need of such a skill.

Whatever makes your heart sing, will be of value to someone. The last WIP I posted was an Idea developed over the 6 months of careful thought and consideration of the REASON, rather than 6 months of pushing myself to PRODUCE as many images as i could.

I also browse Instagram as I cycle between the aforementioned activities, and I follow many Cat Pages. I decided to take screenshots of the cat faces that just crack me up -- and I will recreate an image of them in Pixel Art Form.

I would be remiss if the Proprietors of these Cat Pages, otherwise the Beloved Owners of these Cats, would not find value in these images. I will send them privately and relinquish any rights to it. Paying forward Joy for Joy.

There is a folder currently containing 250 Cat Face Close Ups. This will be one of the many attempts at factoring in Joy, Fulfillment, Creative Expression, and Compassion for Others, all as one - A single thread found after searching through the chaos. I'm gonna pull at this thread and over the years I will unravel.

Same with the music I will create with my ukulele and steel tongue drum. Same with the Playtesting. and to hell with shame, I feel fulfilled about how many anime I've watched to lmao.