TLDR - I still really miss my ex even though we haven't talked in 8 months, and I was the one who shut him out

Let me explain, about a year in a half ago I fell really hard for this guy and we got into a relationship around March of 2020, and as most of you can tell by the time, this is where everything went downhill. We were a long distance relationship in two very doffere t time zones, not to mention I had the pressure of keeping him a secret becuase the ppl around me didn't like him. Everything was going fine despite this for the first few months and he was always so understanding and that made me love him even more. Everything was good pretty much until something happened between me and my parents, and they took all of my privacy away. It was a really dark time for me and somehow, the only thing I was able to keep hidden from them was him. I tried texting him when things got a little better, but I ended up becoming extremely paranoid and anxious, and was still very shook from the experience with my parents. He was, being him, very supportive. However, I was killing myself with this, with the time zones and the constant panic from my parents. So, I thought it was for the best if we stopped talking, so he could find someone better, and I could get better. Now things are alright and I've recovered quite a bit, but it's been 8 months and I still think of him, I haven't thought of anyone else. I worry about him so much and idc if he doesn't want to start things again, I just want to know if he is ok. I still have him blocked and Idk how to get rid of these feelings, I feel like if I text him I'll be intruding on his life. Pls send advice. Ik this is really not the biggest problem in the world but I just need some closure.

Hi, good thing you are doing a bit better.
I think i need more context on the story because as u said if things ended "well" then why did you block him? This is just to my understanding on the story. Maybe you could send him a message to check up on him. I don't have many experience when it comes to long distance relationships but i've seen it's quite hard to maintain them. Also, if you were the one ending the relationship you should understand his feelings about that. Anyway, like i said, maybe text him and see what happens. If he does not want to talk i guess he'll make you know and you should respect that too.

First off, thx for responding :) I rly appreciate it. And also by well I mean the best way it could have ended given the circumstances. I told him honestly that I was not doing well and I was physically and mentally getting I'll due to the stress of having the relationship and he understood, although ik a couple of weeks afterwords he was still worried because he tried contacting me. ( I couldn't respond to him bc all my social media was being monitored). Now that things have cooled down a bit and I feel a bit safer I'd like to try, but as I said I feel like I'm indruding on his life, for all I know he has completely moved on so idk, what do you think?

Hey Moi, good thing you replyied. It's no fuss. Why do u think u miss him? What things do you miss the most about him? or maybe about the relationship?

I'll tell you something, think about the positive and negative comebacks on talking to him. For ex.

-positive comeback: "maybe he stills want to contact with me"
-negative comeback: "he does not want to talk to me"

And think about how will that impact on you and your feelings. You should consider every possible scenario and respect him too.
If you think you can deal with it, go for it.

Good luck~

Hey! Thx for replying, also sorry for replying so late. Now that I think about it I haven't really thought about what I kiss about him, maybe that be was always there to talk to me? His sense of humor? How he talked about things he was passionate Abt? Honestly as cheesy as it sounds idk what I miss about him most, though that is something I should start thinking about before I talk to him :) thx u

***MISS
NOT KISS SO SO SORRY

Feel free to reply when u made up your mind about this~
I'll check this often.

Hello!! Thank you for responding again, sry to keep u waiting. After some time I think I get realized the thing that I miss most about him, although I miss many other things, but for the sake of this convo I'm ruled them out, was the fact that he always was there to sit and listen to me, and I think we also "clicked" well in that sense. He was someone who was very logical, and I was someone who was very emotional. so whenever I would go off on tangents or become too overwhelmed he would pull me out of that mentat loop of "I fucked up". I would also support him similarly by reassuring him that his feeling are valid and he will be ok, (he tended to put a lot high expectations for himself so whenever he messed up he blamed himself a lot)similarly when he had tough times. In addition, one thing that I also miss about him is that we balanced eatchither out a lot in many ways. One way we did this was, he was very happy whenever he was able to help others and make them happy, and I was happiest when I was with him. So our relationship kind of balanced that out haha. That being said, it makes me realize that we were a pretty good match for eathorher, and that brings me back to the original issue, but I'm still not sure what to do. Should I risk it?

Hey. No worries. Like i said, give it a try but acknowledge the consequenses if so. Back to the original question, i'm guessing you are both far away still. So, that could bring the same troubles as before. Either way, i'm here to listen :)

Thank you :)

This whole situation seems simple, yet austere. The "advice" I have is that you might have unfinished business that you haven't yet finished, hence the word. I would advise you reach out, but first, think to yourself in your bed lying down, why do I feel like this. Listen to some Billie Eilish if that helps. GET DEPRESSED AND CONTROL THAT FEELING!!!! Its fine to be indulgent in your emotions for you to have some clarity with the way your feeling. This happened to me a while ago, and it is hard and painful constantly thinking about what you might've done wrong. So reach out and be brave.

which time zone was he in?