Hi I'm Murmur and my closest friend is having relationship problems. So I came here to maybe help her cope with this her boyfriend is very controlling he has passwords to everything of hers social medias emails and even numbers to her friends he doesn't like her hanging out with anybody male or female and all he talks about is s*x. When they are on zoom calls all he does is play video games and doesn't talk he has problems depression in really bad anger issues. I know what you're thinking she's not happy with him if he's treating her like crap why doesn't she leave him that's what I asked she said she can't get the courage to do it she's falling in love with him. He yells at her she controls what she wears what she does where she goes and who she's with and when she tries to open up to him and show the vulnerable side of her he uses it against her. That's why I came to you guys the dollars I need some advice for her for the past hour and a half she was in a zoom call him tell him how messed up he's been treating her and that he needs to fix it or she's leaving and I didn't have a lot of advice for her I know there's more than 1,000 people in the dollars. So please if you have anything, advice, experience, are you dealing with it right now. Please help her she's not part of the dollars which I'm convincing her to join because dollars is a great community with so many amazing people that can help and support her even if they don't know each other. So please give her some advice

thank you

Murmur

hi murmur, there's really nothing much you can do besides supporting your friend. be sure to show her that you support her and make sure to be there for her if he were to ever do something potentially violent to her. also advice to your friend: please tell her to rethink her relationship with him. is she happy? has she given him many chances already? note that if she has given him another chance and he's still hasn't changed, the best thing she could do is break up with him and cut ties. you cannot forcefully change someone. also her boyfriend's depression is NOT an excuse to be abusive towards her, he's manipulative and gaslighting her. make sure to have supportive friends and family in case something wrong happens.

best of luck to you and your friend!

Hello, I go by the name K4nr4 on this site. I have seen a similar situation before so I hope I can offer you some advice. A lot of people who remain in toxic relationships struggle with self esteem issues and do not see their worth. Your friend may have had previous struggles in relationships (family, friend, romantic) that was toxic or unhealthy for them. I believe the best way for you to support them is to help them see their own value. Help them understand that they deserve to be treated with respect and help them embrace the qualities of themselves they may not like. I can tell you care for your friend and I think in order for her to understand the toxicity of the relationship and want better for herself, she needs to love herself and see her own value. I hope this helps and things get better. When you get upset and frustrated, remember individuals can only chose to leave on their own terms. It is really kind of you to be by their side but the best you can do is make them understand their importance and that they deserve later. If they understand that, the chances of them making the right decision for themselves will increase. I'm wishing the best for you and your friend.

Thank you guys so much. I hated sitting by and see her boyfriend treating her like trash. So just thank you.

Glad to be of any help :)